Setting Goals

Good morning everyone,

I was teaching a class Goal Setting this week. As I went around the room, it was interesting to see that most people did have goals and they had the idea down of what their goals are, but no one had the specifics. One person would say: "I want to lose 20 pounds." Another person said: "I want to find the love of my life." And another person said: "I want to start my own business."

These are not goals, this is wishful thinking. The whole world wants things, the whole world dreams of a better life. No one wants a life that sucks us dry and is boring and without purpose. So why do only a few achieve their dreams? Is it because life is truly unfair to most of us? Or is it perhaps because we do not live with deliberate intention?

When you set goals that you want to materialize for yourself, you have to add the right ingredients, bake to perfection and then enjoy:

Goals must be:

1. Specific (describe your goal in as much detail with as few words as you can)
2. Measurable (I want to lose 20 pounds vs. I want to lose weight)
3. Realistic (I want to lose 20 pounds by the end of this week is not realistic)
4. Challenging (Make your goal stretch you and reach for the stars)
5. Completion Date (most people miss this one; they say "I want to lose 20 pounds this year," instead of "I want to lose 20 pounds by such-and-such a date")

Once you have your goals set according to this formula above, create smaller action steps. Because if you just write down your goals and don't put action behind your dreams and goals, then the Universe can't bring you what you so desire. It is by your strong arms that you achieve your goals.

Glory be to self-empowerment - I know you can do it!

How to Forgive and Get Happiness and Peace

Whether we are in physical or emotional pain, often the emotional pain is much more overpowering than the physical pain. Often we wish that someone could wave a "magic wand" to make this agony go away. The funny part is, we do have a magic wand, it came with the castle we built for ourselves so long ago. We just have replaced it and can’t find it anymore because we’ve been spending too much time in the dungeon and not enough time in the grand ballroom. So we run through our castle screaming for someone to get the darn magic wand and heal us already. Yet little do we remember that everyone else is staff and not authorized to touch the magic wand. And even if they did, it only works when we use it and use it the right way.

No one is allowed to remove our pain from someone else's journey and their life path. Doing so is robbing them of their own path and their own lessons. It’s like pulling the sticky stuff off a butterfly that is struggling to free itself from its cocoon. If we do, the butterfly will die because it will be unable to fly unless it has managed to free itself from its own cocoon. Yet how often do we go to someone else asking them to free our wings? And how often do we aid in the inevitable tragedy of disabling the person to fly on their own?

It’s hard to watch someone suffer. And obviously if we can help without disturbing or interrupting the course of their life, then we help. That’s what life may be all about. Defining the difference, however, may be one of our hardest lessons.

I remember belonging to a church group many, many years ago and each week the women got into circles to pray; everyone took turns. Now I recall that we all seemed to beg God to do something for us or for someone else. “God, I beg you to…” usually was contained in everyone’s prayer somewhere. We don’t have to beg, we just have to get clear about what we want, what we truly want. Because we’re also told that if we seek with our whole heart and all of our mind, we shall find it. And of course, later we’re told that the kingdom of heaven doesn’t have to be found at all because it’s already within us. We’re the master architect of this amazing castle, we are the kings and queens, gods and goddesses of our own castles; we designed the place we live in (our bodies), and yet somehow after we moved in we decided to move into the dungeon rather than celebrating where it’s light and sunny.

So how did this law of balance become my most visited guest? One day I realized that everything and everyone around me, including my own body, is here representing as a symbol. Everything I see and don’t see is a reflection of what I first put out into the Universe. It was then that I was able to start removing myself from my Self and become the observer and literally detach myself from my Self. I hope this makes sense. It was the day I realized that I was sitting in my dungeon awaiting trial, hoping that someone would come forward and proclaim my innocence. I was waiting for someone to open the thick, squeeky, wooden door to this dark place, and set me free. Someone did come, but not to set me free, just to let me know that the trial I had been waiting for was fabricated in my own mind and that no one would ever come to set me free - it was ME that could set me free because it was ME that put my Self into the dungeon. I went there willingly (perhaps ignorantly, but definitely willingly).

When I started to slowly accept that everything is one and everyone is one and the same, then I also started to realize that I am just as responsible for the 9/11 bombing as if I would have flown the plane myself. No, I wasn’t there and obviously I’m not a terrorist. However, I have chosen to live in this world at this time and every experience everyone is experiencing at this time is indirectly (and directly) very much affecting our world as a whole. It’s called mass consciousness. I stopped watching TV a long time ago and can barely go to the movies to watch a G rated movie because of the harsh sounds and the big pictures rushing at me. My body and being have become extremely sensitive. I don’t watch the news, don’t read the newspaper, it’s just bad news that comes to me a day late to remind me that there is nothing I can do about it anyway. The world has problems, that’s no news, I don’t need to know the details and stress over it. What’s important will come to me through other means, and it always does.

And suddenly something interesting happened. Even though it seemed as though I wanted to take the ostrich approach and stick my head in the sand and pretend that the evil doesn’t exist in the world, my intentions were the opposite. Suddenly the parts that did find me were magnified and I knew that I could and had to do something about those things. And I did, and I do. Suddenly I pick up on the CAUSE of this things rather than hearing and agonizing about the effects plaguing the world. Feeling other people’s pain from all this distance at first was almost unbearable, then I realized that I could help by taking responsibility. Even if I didn’t pull the trigger, didn’t bomb that city and didn’t fly that plane into a building, I felt responsible by living at this time, and I apologized. And I asked for forgiveness. And I said “I love you.” Not to anyone in particular, just “I love you.” Perhaps I said it to the world, the Universe, the people who were doing these things, the people who had to endure them. It didn’t matter anymore. I just wanted to remove myself and say “I apologize, I forgive you, I love you.”

Later when I read one of Dr. Emoto’s books about frequency and vibrations, I learned that the highest vibrations comes with love, forgiveness, respect and gratitude. I was already doing the first part of this and simply added the second part: respect and gratitude.

“Now hold on a second,” you may ask. “I’m not only supposed to forgive this bastard for what he did to me AND apologize for what he did to me AND then say I love you??? But now I’m also supposed to respect that person and be grateful for him?? I didn’t do anything – I am the victim! You must be out of your mind!”

Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I never said it was going to be easy. I promise however, that it works!

This is going to be challenging but trust me, it works and it works every time - do not dismiss the simplicity of this. Find a mantra, an affirmation, a prayer, whatever you call it, that is filled with love for the person you once loved. Yes, today you may dislike this person and possibly even hate them. Yet the hate and dislike is bouncing back to you and those around you (our liver by the way is the anger center in our body, anger towards other people always shows up in our liver). Moving forward on a path of hatred and dislike will only get you sicker, not healthier. First and foremost we need to heal our hearts, then our bodies will be healed automatically and then our outward world and finances will fall into place. Let's find the cause first. All effect will fall by the way side. IF you can do this, I'm sure the heavens don't lie, your love will conquer all because love never fails; come from that place first and all else will work itself out; THAT I know for sure. If anyone needs help with their mantra or their affirmation, just send me an e-mail. I would be more than happy to give you feedback on your mantra, if you need help with it. It's important that you pick only positive statements and that you make it short and sweet; no beating around the bush, no double meanings, etc. When I have "enemies" then I go back to the basic items that are important to everyone: My mantra for my enemies is always the same:

- I'm sorry (I take 100% responsibility for the other person's actions);
- I forgive you (for everything and anything);
- I love you (the core essence of you, that doesn't mean I have to love what they did to me, I just love the essence of them which is the same as mine);
- I respect you (that you are a seedling of light just as I am);
- I am grateful for you (when I'm hitting the depths and the lows is when I learn all my lessons, the heights are for my enjoyment only, rarely do I learn my life lessons on the heights, they always come in the depths, so I thank my adversaries for these lessons, because of them I can grow).

My 5-CD Audio Program features over 6 hours of these lessons. It is now available also in e-Book format featuring over 340 pages of wisdom, photos, diagrams and charts. Visit http://www.itsmyweightloss.com/products for more information.

Try it and please let me know how you're doing! Cyber hugs and rays of light to accompany all of you on your journeys.

Habits of Failure and Habits of Success

How can habits, good or bad, help us have better health, better relationships, be happier with ourselves and get more satisfaction out of life in general?

Most have heard that “humans are creatures of habit” – what does this really mean?


The Thesaurus breaks down the word “habit” in 3 different categories.

1. A habit can be a custom, a routine, a pattern or someone who practices tradition
2. A habit can also be a tendency towards something, an inclination, leaning towards, a preference or a fondness of something
3. And lastly, a habit can be an addiction, a problem and a dependency

Needless to say, when habits describe addictions, problems and dependencies, we have a bad habit going on. The truth about a habit is that something, anything becomes a habit when it is done without having to consciously think about it. When an act has been done so many times that it has sunk to the subconscious and we do it without consciously thinking about it, that is when something has become a habit. I remember the first time I drove a car, I had to consciously say to myself: “Step 1, set the seat, rear view mirrors, etc. Step 2 put the foot on the break,” and so on. Today of course all those steps are automatically.

As I was thinking of the habits that undoubtedly seem to control me, I realized that the habits that are truly dangerous to my well-being are not so much the fact that I may not unload the dishwasher immediately and thus the dirty dishes pile up on the counter for a day or two, the truly dangerous habits are those that come from within. The thoughts I think about myself or someone else, those repetitive thoughts that seem to float around like debris on a lake after a hefty storm.

How can I turn those habitual thoughts into beautiful floating water lilies upon my subconscious so I am flooded with healthy habits that are constructive to everyone involved?

As I am on a journey of self-discovery, as everyone is at all times, I am realizing that getting in my head to take inventory is one of the hardest things a human can do. We are not our best friends and we certainly are not 100% honest with ourselves. To be brutally honest with myself about bad internal habits I have takes guts and a true desire to really wanting to change, no matter what this change entails. Change frightens us, whether it is good change or bad change, change is the opposite of a habit, and we avoid change at all costs. We are so used to “doing” something “out there” in the world, that sitting still long enough to monitor our thoughts becomes a painful task that requires patience and perseverance and a self-love to truly wanting to know all that is going on inside of us, including the ugliness.

Just for curiosity’s sake, I looked up the words success and failure. English is not my first language after all and I’m always fascinated what the Thesaurus has to say. Did you know that success means achievement, accomplishment, victory and triumph? And did you know that failure can mean a breakdown, a stoppage, a malfunction, a crash, a collapse, disappointment, a letdown, a catastrophe, a closure of some sort?

No wonder then do we avoid looking inward long enough and deep enough at the good and the bad, in an effort to make a change for the positive. We stop our own growth by looking away and pretending that we’re not really that way. The worst part is that even "looking away" has become a habit.

I personaly wouldn’t consider a closure a failure, and in essence I am realizing that I don’t think of failures as negative qualities at all. Failures to me are just a door closing in my face to show me that I’m heading the wrong way. All I need to do is turn my head to the door that is slightly open, choose to walk towards that door and it will automatically open for me. Failures to me are just a course-redirect.

I made a list of all the outward habits and realize that changing those habits are super easy compared to the internal habits. The kingdom of heaven after all is within, not without. Yet I’m learning that in some areas of my life I live in my castle’s dungeon, rather than celebrating with good habits in the grand ballroom. I have agreed to observe myself on the inward habits, the thoughts I think, the paths I take within my own mind when things go right and when things go wrong. After all, we can be our own greatest teachers as much as we can be our own greatest enemies, if we just paid attention to our habits….and decided to turn them into positive ones instead.

One habit I do want to engrain into myself is to say a silent prayer of “I love you” to everyone I meet, especially to my enemies…

Abundance, Health and Happiness

As a facilitator I taught a class this week and I posed one question to the group: “What kind of millionaire would you be? How would you feel if you were a millionaire?”

The answers ranged and were as follows. One person said: “I would feel relieved.” Heads were nodding.

Another person said: “I would feel more at peace and not so stressed and worried.” Everyone concurred.

And someone else said: “I would feel free to do what I want to do and go anywhere I’d like to go; I’d feel happy about that.” A resounding “yes” was heard across the room from all participants.

I pointed out to the group that the majority of people mentioned words like relief, peace, freedom, and happiness. Those, however, are not qualities that can be bought. Those are states of BEING, not states of doing or states featuring a price tag.

Since when do we put a price tag on emotions that come from within? And yet we do, even if not on purpose.

I asked the group why they have not chosen to be in these states of being right NOW, even though the money wasn’t here. Thoughts crossed through everyone’s faces, and heads lowered.

Then the silence broke and a woman shared that she had been poor growing up and she learned how to stretch a dollar and considered herself a frugal spender. She married a millionaire a few years back and divorced him after a year. She was not married long enough to get any part of his estate and she said that was just fine with her. It was the biggest learning experience for her and sobering. She stated that he was mostly stressed about losing his money, worried that people would steal from him or blow up bids or give him an unfair deal. He was supposedly stingy as can be and far from being happy or peaceful. She couldn’t take the superficiality any longer and learned first hand that happiness doesn’t come from money. It comes from within.

Having money to pay for your bills is certainly better than having to worry about getting your electricity turned off. Abundance, however, doesn’t have anything to do with money. It means “in excess of” or “a surplus” or "a lot of" – not necessarily of money, a surplus of happiness means Abundance just as much as having more than enough to buy whatever you want. Having a lot of health means just as much Abundance to a sick person as a million bucks may mean to a poor person. It's all relative and YOU put the price tag on each of these qualities.

So is it possible to have too much money so our worries and concerns are increased and in turn this worry gets us sick? In my opinion, absolutely, I see it quite often in fact.

There is nothing wrong with money in and of itself. Money is only paper until we as humans put energy into its fabric. This energy can be positive AND negative. Unfortunately most of the money today contains energetic frequencies that vibrate on the level of greed, jealousy and unfortunately that of blood.

And isn’t it interesting that many couples report that one of their biggest fight causing topics is that of money?

No wonder the bible says that the love of money is a root of all evil.

There is so much more to talk about this topic, perhaps I could write a book about it one day. For now, let’s concentrate on the qualities that carry with it the purest of vibrations: those of happiness, peace, relief, joy and so on. Those qualities are priceless and can only be found within, and only within one person only: YOU and you only. Seek (within) and ye shall find it (within you and you only).

Much love along your path and may it be sprinkled with lots of golden rays of sunlight.