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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Choosing to Let Go or to Hold On

When is it appropriate to “let go” someone vs. to “hold on” to someone?

I have knowledge about something about a friend of mine, that defies everything I believe in and stand for. Yet this friend is so close to me, I dare to say he could be my twin. Yet this new knowledge is so disappointing to me and overall so degrading, that I have been struggling all week not knowing what to do about this situation.

Ever had a situation where you knew the right thing to do but you didn’t do the right thing out of loyalty to that person, or perhaps out of the addiction you have to that person?

You may have spent your childhood with that person or a big part of your adult life, and you can’t imagine them not being there anymore. But the pain you feel because of the choices they make, is almost unbearable.

So when do you cut the line, draw the line, shift the line or do whatever you have to with “this line” and send them on their way so you don’t have to compromise your Self anymore?

I have let a best friend of 12 years go because what I found out about her was so contradictory to my own beliefs and my own values, that she became the “test” for me to see if I would sell out or not. I let her go and today, more than 2 years ago, I have no regrets about it. In fact, after our parting other people of much higher quality of character started to enter my life and life took a turn for the better for me.

So this week I tried to remember the blessings that came out of me sticking up for what is right and I tried to have this talk with this friend last week and it didn't go over too well. I’m in a similar boat and I have to make the same decision once again. And it’s harder this time, even though it “shouldn’t” be. I struggle to “cut loose” and “let go” but I don’t want to “hold on” to the friendship either – because I overall realize that we have already lost whatever we have to hold on to for dear life. I have a saying and belief that whatever is mine cannot be taken away from me. So if it’s mine and I let it go, it will come back to me tenfold. If it doesn’t come back it was never mine to begin with.

Perhaps you can see and feel that I’m just writing for myself today, trying to come up with the courage and guidance for myself to set this person on their own journey. It will crumble his world, as he states. What makes it harder is that my previous friend had a group of support to help her through the break up of our friendship. This person doesn’t…

Why is it so hard to break other people’s hearts just so we can stay in integrity with our own karma and life journey???

Wish me blessings and healing for my friend so he too can make changes in his life and move on and grow.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

As you asked, I wish blessings and healing for your friend...strength and courage for you.

I have had to do the same thing with some people...some came back and were the same so I turned away again...others came back and we enjoy a better friendship now...some never returned and I am fine with that...

In a similar fashion I am letting someone go who I thought I had a life with but hate who I am around her...now I have to turn away...for my own health...

I am sending you a big cosmic hug for your present journey.
Three Ls for you.

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