Forever Peace

When I decided to get into the dating scene a few weeks ago I was simply compartmentalizing that part of my life into its own category, away from everything else, at least so I thought. Little did I know what would take place over the next few weeks. While this originally started as a site to talk about "Transforming Chronic Illness Into Vibrant Health", it is obvious that I don't want to talk about chronic illness or ailments, which would only increase your ill feeling. And this is certainly not a "poor you" site where we pity you because of your ailments. It’s a site to examine where chronic illness and unhappiness come from. And since many would love to blame their external world, all those things come from within.

I have found over and over again that many illnesses are related to stress and most stress is related to wrong partnerships. Even the stress that some think is related to jobs or money are in fact really related to people being with wrong partnerships, wrong friends, wrong employers and wrong co-workers. Whether we are stuck in a job with co-workers or a boss we can’t stand, or we are stuck in a marriage or relationship that has long outlived its welcome, stress of this kind is a major reason for so many of our ailments. In fact it has been said that cancer is anger turned inward…

I didn’t just decide to start dating a few weeks ago, the decision was made last December. I took 5-6 solid months of preparing by asking myself serious questions. Questions like: “Who am I as a dating partner?” "What do I really have to offer?" “What are my ethical standards?” “How do I want to handle each encounter, either in person or via e-mail?” How do I want my dating partner to feel after an encounter with me?” “What do I have to bring and offer to this other person?” And on and on I asked myself these questions, getting very clear with who I am and what I want, but most importantly, what I want the other person to walk away with, whether or not there would ever be a phone call or anything beyond an e-mail. For me it's all about kindness.

And I’m so blessed to see that I have stuck to my intentions and they have paid off so gloriously! So much so that a thought crossed my mind last week that perhaps I need to become an Internet Dating Coach and Expert...

My profile has been viewed almost 10,000 in the last 4-5 weeks with a 20% response rate. I am overwhelmed needless to say. Meanwhile, however, I figured out my own system on how to be fair and get to almost everyone. The response from everyone has been so amazing and filled with grace and gifts I never knew could come from a strangers. Our words are the most powerful force and can make or break someone...

Just yesterday one of the gentlemen sent me the following poem and I think it speaks to what we all want:

"Oh the comfort
The inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with another person.
Having neither to weigh thoughts
Nor measure words
But pouring them all right out
Just as they are
Chaff and grain together -
Certain that a faithful hand
Will take and sift them
Keep what is worth keeping
And with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away."

Written by Dinah Craix over a century ago.

So when you feel down and you feel like the people closest to you are not doing their job, perhaps you may decide to first become that which you want them to become, only then will they see in you how to be themselves…And then perhaps these people can fall away from you because your journeys have come to an end or they will want to change, as do you. It's not our job to change others, it's our job to inspire others by the mere existence of who we are. Not because we try so hard, but because "we just are."

Go claim your closeness with others! It’s an amazing gift!

New Photos

My friend took some new photos of me in an effort to create a smashing Internet Dating profile. What a fun journey this has been!

I'm having such a blast with this, I think I need to become an Internet Dating Coach!

What River Are You?

These last few weeks in my “absence” here on my blog have been a tremendous learning experience and I will do my very best to pass on my lessons in the hope and with the intention that you too may learn and grow. It has been a fantastic time to say the least!

Over the past few weeks I have been getting various visions of rivers, creeks, streams, brooks and even waterfalls. At first all I understood and remembered were the scriptures that talk about rivers. My very name, Chaszey, represents the flow of a river, forever finding the path that is her. King Solomon tells us that “All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.” And John tells us that “streams of living water will flow from within” us. And David tells us that “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” The City he’s talking about is of course your innermost being, the little speck of light that you truly are. It is your God-Self.

We all know, or at least I hope that you know, that God (or whatever you call the Light Source) is everything, lives in all and is everywhere. It is that light source that is with you always, that shines a light on your path, even if you run from it, hide it or try to squash it.

As I was getting these various visions of these massive rivers that flow with majesty and might and without making a seeming sound, yet the power of these rivers is unshakeable, deep and almost frightening. Most of these types of rivers are wide, deep and they are fairly straight with large and wide bends, compared to the little creeks and streams.

I suddenly realized that this is how true love is supposed to be!

Little creeks and streams bubble and make their path to eventually merge with one of those big, quiet, calm and yet powerful rivers, which eventually merges with the big sea again (God). Creeks and streams are shallow, as can relationships be, although they make a lot of noise, as can superficial relationships.

I realized that the rocks in a river bed that create the sounds and the bubbles and the foam on top of the sparkling water rushing in between their obstacles are just like us trying to squeeze people into our lives that perhaps have no business being there in the first place.

Imagine yourself standing at the bend of a river with a whistle and a red flag trying to command the river to take a left turn instead of a right turn. It doesn’t quite happen this way. Yet we continue to try to make people into something they are not. We want to direct the path of their river down our path to merge with our big and calm river, but we forget that we have left our river in order to redirect theirs.

All streams will eventually lead into a big and calm river and all rivers will run towards the big sea. And eventually the cycle and rhythm starts over again.

So what is my lesson?

While I may feel like a single and individual water drop and my ego wants to remain separate and unique, it is only when I am willingly let myself merge with the big sea (God) that I have the whole power of the big sea on my side helping me to achieve what I have come to accomplish. It is not for me to remain a separate water drop, weak and alone and facing the drying out by the scorching sun. It is for me to help others guide to find their own river within and to let them take their own path down that stream and not to redirect their path the way I think it should be.

Everyone is a brook, a stream, a river, perhaps you’re even as deep and quiet and powerful as the Amazon river – no matter where you are on your journey, know that your path is guiding you only in one direction: in the direction to be merged with the big sea (the light source within you).

Congratulations on living and tapping that source of unlimited amount of power within you!

Anger and its Effect on our Bodies

Many decades ago Professor Elmer Gates performed a study in which he analyzed the perspiration of several men in various mental moods. The perspiration of those whose moods were angry turned yellow and when put on the tongue of a dog even showed evidence of poisoning.

We all get angry from time to time and while it would be most ideal to always flow with the river of gratitude, we seem to fall off the boat once in a while and pinch off that flow of peace.

Think about this, however, anger causes poison in our own bodies! Not only does this poison have the power to change the color of our perspiration but it actually has the power to poison another being! If it can do so, then only imagine what this poison does within the members of our own body.

Is it any wonder then that we suffer from anger illnesses such as cancer of many kinds?

A big part of my program and e-Book is all about spreading peace throughout our own body. There are many ways we can do this:

Be kind to your body in the way you feed it, exercise it, tend to it, clean it, whom you share it with and most importantly: in the way you talk to it.
Do not talk about negative and sad stories as we see them in the world; even if this means for you not to watch TV or read the newspaper. Remember that the news is always a day late only to remind you that there is nothing you can do about it anyway. What you can do on a daily basis, however, is for you to be at peace and thus you spread peace and happiness from you out to your horizon, and before you know it, the world looks like an amazing place to live (it starts with you).
Surround yourself with circumstances and people and situations that are worthy of you and deserving of you. You might say: “I don’t have any control over the people around me.” And to that I say: “Yes, you do.”

Lao Russell says: “Peace and love to not come to you from your horizon, they spread from within you out to your horizon and beyond into infinity.”

Start with you – it’s all you can control anyway!

Choosing to Let Go or to Hold On

When is it appropriate to “let go” someone vs. to “hold on” to someone?

I have knowledge about something about a friend of mine, that defies everything I believe in and stand for. Yet this friend is so close to me, I dare to say he could be my twin. Yet this new knowledge is so disappointing to me and overall so degrading, that I have been struggling all week not knowing what to do about this situation.

Ever had a situation where you knew the right thing to do but you didn’t do the right thing out of loyalty to that person, or perhaps out of the addiction you have to that person?

You may have spent your childhood with that person or a big part of your adult life, and you can’t imagine them not being there anymore. But the pain you feel because of the choices they make, is almost unbearable.

So when do you cut the line, draw the line, shift the line or do whatever you have to with “this line” and send them on their way so you don’t have to compromise your Self anymore?

I have let a best friend of 12 years go because what I found out about her was so contradictory to my own beliefs and my own values, that she became the “test” for me to see if I would sell out or not. I let her go and today, more than 2 years ago, I have no regrets about it. In fact, after our parting other people of much higher quality of character started to enter my life and life took a turn for the better for me.

So this week I tried to remember the blessings that came out of me sticking up for what is right and I tried to have this talk with this friend last week and it didn't go over too well. I’m in a similar boat and I have to make the same decision once again. And it’s harder this time, even though it “shouldn’t” be. I struggle to “cut loose” and “let go” but I don’t want to “hold on” to the friendship either – because I overall realize that we have already lost whatever we have to hold on to for dear life. I have a saying and belief that whatever is mine cannot be taken away from me. So if it’s mine and I let it go, it will come back to me tenfold. If it doesn’t come back it was never mine to begin with.

Perhaps you can see and feel that I’m just writing for myself today, trying to come up with the courage and guidance for myself to set this person on their own journey. It will crumble his world, as he states. What makes it harder is that my previous friend had a group of support to help her through the break up of our friendship. This person doesn’t…

Why is it so hard to break other people’s hearts just so we can stay in integrity with our own karma and life journey???

Wish me blessings and healing for my friend so he too can make changes in his life and move on and grow.

With All Thy Faults I Love Thee Still

And my final words from Christian Larson:

“Thus sings the poet, and we call him sentimental; that is, at first thought we do. But upon second thought we change our minds. We then find that faults and defects are always in the minority, and that the larger part of human nature is so wonderful and so beautiful that it needs must inspire admiration and love in everybody. With all their defects there is nothing more interesting than human beings; and the reason is that for every shortcoming in man there are thousand admirable qualities. The poet, being inspired by the sublime vision of truth, can see this; therefore, what can he do but love? Whenever his eyes are lifted and whenever his thoughts take wings, his soul declares with great eloquence than every before, “What a piece of work is man!” Thus every moment renews his admiration, and every thought rekindles the fire of his love.”

Follow Your Vision

Christian Larson encourages us to “Follow the vision of the soul. Be true to your ideals no matter what may happen now. Then things will take a turn and the very things you wanted to happen will happen.

“The ideal has a positive drawing power towards the higher, the greater and the superior. Whoever gives his attention constantly to the ideal, therefore, will steadily rise in the scale.

“Take things as they are today and proceed at once to make them better.

“Expect every change to lead you to something better and it will. As your faith is so shall it be.

“To be human is not to be weak. To be human is to be all that there is in man, and the greatness that is contained in the whole of man is marvelous indeed.”

Sometimes I find myself wanting to be weak and lowly and sit and dwell, feeling almost sorry for myself. Sulking in the “bad” and letting my energy sit low and dormant. It’s during those times that people who have tended to their self-discipline pick themselves up and say “no more, I’ve had enough of this” – and because of that tactic in spite of them wanting to stay “low” that they succeed. So if you feel weak and like you’re wanting to give up, remember that life comes and goes in cycles with a precise rhythm, don’t give up, keep on going and enjoy every moment of it: good and the seeming not so good.

Being a Master Mind

Christian Larson would say that “The first mark of a master mind is that he is able to promote his own perpetual improvement. The second is that he is able to be strong, joyous and serene under every circumstance.

“The imagining faculty is the creative faculty of the mind, the faculty that creates plans, methods and ideas. Our imagination therefore must always be clear, lofty, wholesome, and constructive if we would create superior ideas and build for greater things.

“Before you can have greater success you must become a greater man. Before you can become a greater man you must reach out toward the new and the greater along all lines; and this is possible only through the constructive use of imagination. You get your best ideas when your mind acts in the upper story. And in all fields of action it is the best ideas that win.”

What is a Master Mind? Some would say Edison, Einstein and people alike are master minds. But what about you? Do you believe that you have been given all that you need to be the Master Mind of your own life? Who holds all of the answers to your questions? Why do we read books about other people and why do we try to imitate those that we don’t even know, rather than choosing to get to know ourselves, while tending to the fertile ground of our own master mind, where all the fruit of our lives come from?

I’d like to encourage you (including myself) to spend more time with you and less time trying to find out about others. Because as you get to know the YOU inside, you will automatically get to know others and suddenly the secret essence of what life is all about lies bare within your own eyes for you to adore and cherish and tend to. You are the only master piece there is! Find out who you are, study yourself and constantly question your own motives and ambitions. Work with your Higher Self as an inseparable team and watch the majestic glory open up right in front of you.

Wanting to Be Honest – Honestly Negative

Do you ever feel so down that you just want to dump on a friend, hoping that it’ll get better? Yet you realize that while you may be feeling better after you “vomited” your sorrows all over her as if she was a garbage can, that the problem actually multiplied rather than disappeared?

I have noticed over and over again in my life that when things go wrong, the first thing I want to do is to call a friend and tell them about it, dump, vent and get advice from my friend. Yet when I learned to go inward and present the challenge to my Higher Self, asking my Higher Self to take over and to transmute the challenge into a blessing, then I come out of it renewed with strength and with the exact answer to the solution. And I spared a friend unnecessary heartache to fix my problem that was never hers to fix in the first place.

Christian Larson would say it this way: “Never think or speak of that which you do not wish to happen. The whine, the sting, and the sigh – these three must never appear in a single thought or a single word.

“You can win ten times as many friends by talking happiness as you can by talking trouble. And the more real friends you have the less trouble you will have.

“Speak well of everything good you find and mean it. When you find what you do not like keep quiet. The less you think or speak of what you do not like the more you have of what you do like.

“Magnify the good; emphasize that which has worth; and talk only of those things that should live and grow.

“When you have something good to say, say it. When you have something ill to say, say something else.”

Positive Thinking

So sorry for “staying away” for a while. I have been busy with another “project” that is taking more time than I anticipated.

I have been working with the I-Ching for a few years now and often go through phases where I want to consult my higher guidance through the I-Ching in addition to meditation. This week I asked an interesting question part of the answer came back as follows:

“Don’t build cemeteries in your mind. You do that by indulging in grief, sorrow, and grudges. If you dig up an old grievance or hurt by rehearsing it in your mind, you are opening a grave inside yourself. Thinking about the past is a kind of mental and emotional death. Don’t touch any negative thought. Liquidate the past, obliterate negative thoughts, and replace them with the right thoughts. Let Divine love rule in your mind. Your good is this moment. Your future is your present thoughts made manifest.”

I loved the wording of what we know as Positive Thinking.

I appreciated the wake-up call because we all have a tendency from time to time to slip back into the negative self-talk. I hope this hits home for you as much as it does for me.

You Are Magnificant!

Nelson Mandela gave a speech in 1994, which was written by Marianne Williamson. The first time I heard it, it was as if finally someone understood my fears and had the courage to put them on paper. It was then that I realized that it was not failure that scares most people, because most people are so familiar with the monster "failure," but that it was success that was most frightening to us, because it was the unknown and the insecure and the "what if."

To this day I have to read this portion over and over again, to keep reminding myself that I have a light to shine for all to see, so their paths can be illumined. May these words below soothe you and spur you on let go of all the non-beneficial and let shine from within you all the good that you are - because you are simply magnificant!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

A Most Unique and Wonderful Experience!

For the last two days I have been re-writing this post over and over in my head, not knowing if and how I can possibly put such an amazing, unique and wonderful experience into words. And I have come to the conclusion that there are simply not enough words in the English language to describe unconditional love the way I have experienced it just this week, with a complete stranger that is!

So brace yourself because this may sound strange, weird, outrageous or even unreal – and believe me, it was profound, magical and earth-shaking (I’m sure somewhere).

Have you ever met a complete stranger and you just knew that you had met this person before but you also knew that it wasn’t in this life time? The person feels so much like “home” to you that you can’t explain the feeling that overcomes you because you’ve never experienced it and you also look at reality and it’s not (this) reality at all. You’re like two galaxies apart from this person. And yet there is this oneness that only the two of you experience and feel? It’s as if you’re ONE and the same, like twin brother and sister.

I have many similar of these experiences and I no longer worry about telling the person or wanting the person to know, I just let it be and I’m at peace with that knowing. But this has been by far one of the most profound experiences for me. What made this encounter different was that we were both able to recognize it, admit it, talk about it and cry through it together.

What’s so profound about this is the different worlds that we live in on this plane, and there was no judgment. It would not be a good match for this person and I to be a couple, the mechanics are off, the life goals don’t match, our age is too far apart, we live too far apart, etc. etc. What does match, however, is our history together over lifetimes. And only he and I know the depth of it because we both recognized the depth of those experiences and the connection allows us to truly feel unconditional love for each other. It’s as if no time had ever passed through any of our life times...

This man has brought me more blessings and more healing and more gifts in the few hours we talked than I had experienced before. In 15 years of being married I hadn’t felt as emotionally secure than talking to this man on the phone for 1 hour. Anyone who hasn't experienced this would think there’s something wrong with this picture. And yet it is a testimony that unconditional love knows no time and no boundaries. And unconditional love can truly not be explained or put in words. It just is in its silent "I am" vibration.

My girlfriend was with me when we met him and I tried to explain to her the depth of our connection and the sweetness of his soul; she didn’t quite understand or comprehend it. So I don’t expect anyone else to get it either. The only person who “got it” is him. And I’m okay with that. And yet I hope to encourage you to be receptive and open to those you meet. You never know if the person at the cash register or gas station next to you was a dear friend, brother or sister, or a spouse to you in a previous life time.

This is for you my blessed friend:

“Jake, as we have both agreed to meet up at this time to restore each others’ faith, I want to thank you with every molecule of my essence for sticking to your side of the agreement. I hope I have been able to do the same for you. Thank you for your openness, for crying with me, for being one with me on a soul level, for understanding me, for lifting me up, for appreciating me, for respecting me and for loving me so unconditionally. You have given me more gifts than you know and I still cry tears of love for you. As our paths crossed for merely an hour or two, you know we have walked life times together and I continue to support you energetically on your journeys. I wish you growth and love and passion for what you’ve come here to do. And may you soon meet the love of your life to build a family with. I'll see you on the other side some day... I love you. Chaszey"

Do Your Eyes Sparkle?

Hhhhm, one of my all time favorite words is "Transmutation" (or Transformation). I love change, although it can be scary. Change has always blessed me with the unknown and the unknown has always had suprise blessings in store for me. So it is only natural that I want to share this with you...

Christian Larson: “When the creative energies are daily transmuted, and turned into muscle, brain and mind, a virtuous life can be lived without inconvenience. Besides, the body will be healthier, the personality stronger and the mind more brilliant. Hold yourself constantly in a positive, masterful attitude, and fill that attitude with kindness. The result will be that remarkable something that people call personal magnetism. Create energy when retained in the system will give vigor to the body, sparkle to the eye, and genius to the brain. There is enough power in any man to enable him to realize all his desires and reach the highest good he has in view. It is only necessary that all of this power be constructively applied.”

Having Faith

I love these words of wisdom!

Christian Larson: “Be good and kind to everybody and the world will be kind to you. There may be accasional exceptions to this rule, but when they come pass them by and they will not come again. Ideals need the best of care. Weeds can grow without attention, but not so with the roses. Not all minds are pure that think they are. Many of them are simply dwarfed. It does not pay to lose faith in anybody. It is better to have faith in everybody and be deceived occasionally than to mistrust everybody and be deceived almost constantly. When you meet a person who does not look well, call their attention to the sunny side of things, and aim to say something that will give them new interest and new life. You will thereby nip in the bud many a threatening evil, and carry healing with you wherever you go.”

Removing the Sting, the Whine and the Sigh

I am not much for whining, sighing or suffering in general, but as of lately I have to admit that my feelings are getting hurt easier than when I was younger. My threshold for pain, both physical and emotional, is declining as I get older, whereas with most people they can endure more pain. Not for me! I haven't quite figured out why this is. But I will continue to search my soul. In the meantime I hope Christian Larson's words are as healing to you as they are to me:

“Remove the sting; remove the whine; remove the sigh. They are your enemies. They are never conducive to happiness; and we all live to gain happiness, to give happiness. From every word remove the sting. Speak kindly. To speak kindly and gently to everybody is the mark of a great soul. And it is your privilege to be a great soul. From the tone of your voice remove the whine. Speak with joy. Never complain. The more you complain, the smaller you become, and the fewer will be your friends and opportunities. Speak tenderly, speak sweetly, speak with love. From all the outpourings of your heart, remove the sigh. Be happy and contented always. Let your spirit sing, let your heart dance, let your soul declare the glory of existence, for truly life I beautiful. Every sigh is a burden, a self-inflicted burden. Every whine is a maker of trouble, a forerunner of failure. Every sting is a destroyer of happiness, a dispenser of bitterness. To live in the world of sighs is to be blind to everything that is rich and beautiful. The more we sigh, the less we live, for every sigh leads to weakness, defeat, and death. Remove the sting, remove the whine, remove the sigh. They are not your friends. There is better company waiting for you.” (yes, that's what I'm talking about!)

Special Update on Dating

Ah, I so enjoyed myself to have a first date in so many years. I was watching my thoughts throughout the day to see if I was sabotaging myself by thinking negative thoughts, and I have to admit, I definitely caught myself thinking thoughts like: "I wonder if he'll show up." "He'll probably be late." "He won't like me for whatever reason."

Just stupid thoughts that are so very counter productive. Each time I thought a negative thought, I nipped it in the bud and immediately confirmed: "I'm a child of God and all is well."

So yes, he was a little late after all, but he called beforehand. I so appreciated that! Mind you, he lives an hour away and came over during rush hour traffic.

The strangest thing happened during our dinner. The gentleman next to us was eaves-dropping on our conversation and eventually interrupted our discussion by giving his 2 cents of input. Then when my date went to the restroom, the gentleman who interrupted us previously, handed me a note telling me that he went to the cash register to write this note and I should read it when I get home. Weird!? Yes, to say the least. And definitely gutsy.

Our date lastet 3 hours and we had great conversation. One of the main reasons I was attracted to him is because he's been single for the last 3 years after coming out of a relationship, which changed his life quite a bit. There is nothing more attractive to me than a guy who knows what he wants and understands that he cannot grow himself with someone else dangling on him, a guy who chooses time alone to figure out who he is rather than hopping from relationship to the next. There is nothing more of a turn off to me than a guy who constantly needs to be with a woman, a girl friend, a friend with benefits, or his buddies, a guy that can't be alone for fear he would drown in silence. In short, a guy who sells out.

He restored my faith on many levels because he is such a nice, nice guy with a side to him that is so endearing and heart warming. And still, there is no match for me for many reasons and on many levels. And that's okay.

As far as the note is concerned, it read: "I'm sorry to meet you this way. You seem like a good woman who is warm and kind hearted. Please call me. Name and phone number." And no, I won't call because he was disrespectful to me and my date...

Today I have to muster up the courage and the right words to pass on to my date that there won't be a second date. It's because of this that I have refused to date in the past - and I just have to get this lesson. Please say a prayer for him that he'll be okay.

Have a great and awesome day today!

How To Live a Great Life

Do you ever feel tired and exhausted; not physically, but of life in general?

I have always struggled in the past with the fact that I am living on this plane at this time. I don't feel at home here, never have and I continue to try to make this planet my home. With it comes growing as a human being, or as a Being in general.

Christian Larson: “He who would become great must live a great life. Happiness adds life, power, and worth to all your talents and powers. It is most important therefore, that every moment should be full of joy. However much you may do, always remember you have the ability to do more. No one has yet applied all the ability in their possession. But all of us should learn to apply a greater measure every year. While you are waiting for an opportunity to improve your time, improve yourself. The man or woman who never weakens when things are against them, will grow stronger and stronger until they will have the power to cause all things to be for them.”

A Side Note on Manifesting

Last week I told my good friend that I really wanted to take dance lessons (ballroom and latin dances) and that I just had to put my intentions out there (since I don't have a partner) that it would work out okay. I also told her that I would like to start dating (golly, I haven't had a date in 20 years and it's time).

And I'm so exited to announce that one of my students sent me a flyer from Cheryl Burke (Dancing with the Stars) who lives only about 10-15 minutes from me, who is holding ballroom and latin dance lessons! No partner needed!

AND - I have my first date tonight in decades, literally! I feel very much like a teenager about this, have no clue what to wear, what to say (and not say), what to ask (and not to ask), how to behave (and not behave) - dang, can anyone send me that "rule book"? I hope he's forgiving...Wish me luck!

So for all those out there who doubt that setting your intentions won't manifest into outer reality, think again! You are truly your own Michael Angelo - sculpt away the most beautiful life that you think up...and watch it become real right in front of your eyes...

Personal Growth

Since most of you are on a journey to self-discovery, your personal growth is of utmost importance to you. Please allow me to share more Christian Larson nuggest of wisdom:


“Say to yourself a hundred times every day, and mean it with all your heart: ‘I will become more than I am. I will achieve more and more every day because I know that I can. I will recognize only that which is good in myself, only that which is good in others; only that in all things and places that I know should live and grow. When adversity threatens I will be more determined than every in my life to prove that I can turn all things to good account. And when those whom I have trusted seem to fail me, I will have a thousand times more faith in the honor and nobleness of man. I will think only of that which has virtue and worth. I will wish only for that which can give freedom and truth. I will expect only that which I can add to the welfare of the race. I will live to live more. I will speak to give encouragement, inspiration and joy. I will work to be of service to an every increasing number. And in every thought, word and action my ruling desire shall be, to enrich, ennoble and beatify existence for all who come my way.’”

Are you a Pessimist or an Optimist?

This is a big one for me. I always want myself to be an optimist, but just this weekend my friend said to me: "you worry about the weirdest things before they even happen." It hit me like a brick wall because she was right!

So here is your own test based on Christian Larson's wisdom:

“The optimist lives under a clear sky; the pessimist lives in a fog.

"The pessimist hesitates,, and loses both time and opportunity; the optimist makes the best use of everything now, and builds themselves up, steadily and surely, until all adversity is overcome and the object in view realized.

"The pessimist curbs their energies and concentrates their whole attention upon failure; the optimist gives all their thought and power to the attainment of success, and arouses their faculties and forces to the highest point of efficiency.

"The pessimist waits for better times, and expects to keep on waiting; the optimist goes to work with the best that is at hand now, and proceeds to create better times.

"The pessimist pours cold water on the fires of their own ability; the optimist adds fuel to those fires.

"The pessimist links their mind to everything that is losing ground; the optimist lives, thinks and works with everything that is determined to press on.

"The pessimist places a damper on everything; the optimist gives life, fire and go to everything. The optimist is a building force; the pessimist is always an obstacle in the way of progress.

"The pessimist lives in a dark, soggy unproductive world, the optimist lives in that mental sunshine that makes all things grow.”

Good Bye, my Almost Friend…

A few days ago I wrote that I was going through a difficult time letting some people go. I go through this every so often when I realize that I am spending energy where energy and effort are not appreciated and welcomed to do what I had intended it to do. And before I know it I’m involved in giving, giving and more giving, until I feel drained and sad – because then comes the time when I realize that people are going in circles like rats on their wheels – and I find myself having joined them…

Then I met a super nice person who seemed to defy those rules and the neediness simply wasn’t present. In fact he was refreshing, independent and just fun to be around – happy. And yet he was vulnerable and open in a relatable kind of way, and a fun friendship started off in a great way. Then I discovered that it was wrong, not mutually beneficial and I got hurt. I put him on the list of people I needed to “let go.” And although we’re still friendly there is a big gap between us that I dislike intensely. And every time I run into him, I just want to cry and break down (and I do in the silence of the bathroom stall or the corner of a lonely room), because I miss the innocence of our friendship, or at least what was the beginning of it.

So here to my “almost friend”: “I’m so sorry for whatever it is I have done to you to cause this gap between us and to make you pull away. Please forgive me. I wish I knew what made you pull back so I could change and fix it. But you don’t seem as broken as I feel; my heart is hurting and the crying cannot go on; and so I let you go in peace and I honor your wish to take the space before you move to another State in a few weeks' time. May your life journey be accompanied with unconditional love and happiness, with health and all the good things life has to offer. You deserve it so much.”

And as I am constantly on my journey to improve and to grow and learn and become the woman I truly want to be, it never fails for me to get nuggets of wisdom “from above” - right now in the words from Christian Larson:

“The fact that you have failed to get the lesser proves conclusively that you deserve the greater. So therefore, dry those tears and go in search of the worthier prize. Count nothing lost even the day that sees “no worthy action done” may be a day of preparation and accumulation that will add greatly to the achievements of tomorrow. Many a day was made famous because nothing was done the day before. Know what you want and continue to want it. You will get it if you combine desire with faith. The power of desire when combined with faith becomes invincible. Some of the principal reasons why so many fail to get what they want is because they do not definitely know what they want or because they change their wants almost every day.”

When Failure Comes...

Sometimes I wonder if it will be ever revealed to me how many times have I thrown in the towel right before success would have been evident. How often have I given up just when it became hardest? How many times was I right at the brink of success? I have said this before, I knew that "where there is a will there is a way," what I didn't know is how long I had to show that I had the will, before I was shown the way.

Christian Larson says the following:

"When failure comes, be more determined than ever to succeed. The more feeling there is in your thought the greater its power. You steadily and surely become in the real what you constantly and clearly think that you are in the ideal. The more you believe in yourself the more of your latent powers and possibilities you place in action. And the more you believe in your purpose the more of your power you apply in promoting that purpose. To him who thinks he can, everything is an opportunity. Depend only upon yourself but work in harmony with all things. This you call froth the best that is in yourself and secure the best that external sources have to give."

I want to encourage you, dear reader, to never give up believing in yourself. You are all you have, had and ever will have. It's in your mind - no one can touch that or control that (at least not in this day and age). So let your internal world be one of magnificance! Because you are so unique and so full of wonders inside...

Change!

And here is Christian Larson's take on change. I really can't add anything to it. His words are so soothing to me and I hope they are just as pleasant to your soul:

"The greatest remedy in the world is change; and change implies the passing from the old to the new. It is also the only path that leads from the lesser to the greater, from the dream to the reality, from the wish to the heart’s desire fulfilled.

"It is change that brings us everything we want. It is the opposite of change that holds us back from that which we want.

"But change is not always external. Real change, or rather the cause of all change, is always internal. It is the change in the within that first produces the change in the without. To go from place to place is not a change unless it produces a change of mind a renewal of mind. It is the change of mind that is the change desired. It is the renewal of mind that produces better health, more happiness, great power, the increase of life, and the consequent increase of all that is good in life. And the constant renewal of mind – the daily change of mind – is possible regardless of times, circumstances or places. He who can change his mind every day and think the new about everything every day, will always be well; he will always have happiness; he will always be free; his life will always be interesting; he will constantly move forward into the larger, the richer and the better; and whatever is needed for his welfare today, of that he shall surely have abundance."

Right Thinking

Is there such a thing as right and wrong thinking?

According to Christian Larson there is:

"Life is growth and the object of right thinking is to promote that growth. Give less time trying to change the opinions of others, and more time trying to improve your own life. Life becomes the way it is lived; and man may live the way he wants to live when he learns to think what he wants to think. Create your own thought and you become what you want to become because your thought creates you. We all know that man is as he thinks. Then we must think only such thoughts as tend to make us what we wish to be. The secret of right thinking is found in always keeping the mind’s eye stayed upon the greater and the better in all things."

I realize that we are "creatures of habit." We love to keep things the same. Most people do not like change. I have taken inventory of my life and continue to do so, and I recognize that the times I grow the most are the times during change. Whether this is to change the route I use to go grocery shopping, a change in dentist or a change in living situations. Whether it's a change in technology or the way my handwriting looks - change is good, change is great - change brings growth.

I met with my ex-husband yesterday and we talked for several hours over a good cup of coffee. Now that we're both in our 40s it was easy to look back and use "hindsight" as our best friend to get an overview of how each of us has changed and grown. It was interesting to see that although time didn't seem to exist, we have grown worlds apart during these last 20 years. We met when we were very young, got married and had a daughter. He's approach the half-century mark very soon, and I'm in my 40s. We talked about growing up and the things we used to love to do as teenagers and how we've changed. And it was interesting to see that he still doesn't like change, he wants things "the same" because it offers him comfort. I want change more than anything because I know that with change comes growth.

And then I got it: change to him means insecurity and loss. Change to me means growth and gain.

It's okay to be different - it's what makes this world an exiting place to live in.

Dreaming Always

Christian Larson says: "Dream constantly of the ideal; work ceaselessly to perfect that real. Believe in yourself; believe in everybody; believe in all that has existence. Give the body added strength; give the mind added brilliancy; give the soul added inspiration. Do your best under every circumstance, and believe that every circumstance will give its best to you. Live for the realization of more life and for the more efficient use of everything that proceeds from life. Desire eternally what you want; and act always as if every expectation were coming true."

One of the hardest things for me is to hold a thought for a prolonged period of time. I heard that the average person can hold a thought for 2 seconds max. I also heard that in order for a thought to sink to our subconscious, it will have to be concentrated on for at least 17 seconds. We have much to learn. I have much to learn.

I have taken it upon myself to "watch myself and my thoughts" before I go to sleep and I'm amazed at how chaotic these thoughts are. While most of them are positive, they are incomplete and one thought has nothing to do with the next thought, some are chopped half way through, then there is a big gap right before several thoughts rush through again. Quite fascinating and also disturbing at the same time.

I am realizing that my ego has one job: to keep me alive and to keep me busy with DOING.

If I can manage to quiet my thoughts and to manage my thoughts by holding on to a deliberate thought with purpose, then my ego quiets itself and I am at peace.

I am learning that either my ego manages me or I can learn to manage my ego. I prefer to be in charge, not only of my body, but especially of my thoughts.

I hope these words from Christian Larson help you as well!

The Future Takes Place Now

There are so many movies and documentaries and books out there that stress the value of living in the "NOW." Yet we continue to borrow from the past or escape to the future, in a frenzy trying to avoid the present. Yet all wisdom, all gems, all love, all gifts are in the NOW, right here as you read these words. As your brain is working to formulate and translate these words into every fiber of your being. Do you feel it? Or does your Self automatically slip into the past remembering an scenario, or perhaps you are already planning for the future.

Here are Christian Larson's recommendations on using affirmations and ideals in the present, in order to shape and form your future:

"When you have made up your mind what you want to do, say to yourself a thousand times a day that you will do it. The best way will soon open. You will have the opportunity you desire. If you would be greater in the future than you are now, be all that you can be now. He who is his best develops the power to be better. He who lives his ideals is creating a life that actually is ideal. There is nothing in your life that you cannot modify, change or improve when you learn to regulate your thought. Our destiny is not mapped out for us by some exterior power; we map it out for ourselves. What we think and do in the present termines what shall happen to us in the future."

Believe in your Self

Yesterday I ran into someone whom I hadn't seen in over 5 years. The person graciously shared with me a flattering thought they had about me many years ago - unbeknownst to me. It made me blush and yet the invisible pat on the back was surely an ego boost. Ever wonder why it is that others can see our qualities better than we give ourselves credit for?

I often walk through life feeling so much "less than" others, less important, less educated, less wealthy, like they have it all together when I am struggling still "at this age" when I "should be" so much farther along. And so on. Yet teaching this new class of wonderful women I am learning that everyone has the same insecurities and vulnerabilities.

Yet by feeling insecure we are not helping anyone, especially not ourselves...or those that we want to help so much.

Perhaps these words from Christian Larson will boost your self-esteem like they have mine:

"When you think of yourself do not think of that part of yourself that appears on the surface. That part is the smaller part and the lesser should not be pictured in mind. Think of your larger self, the immense subconscious self that is limitless both in power and in possibility. Believe in yourself but not simply in a part of yourself. Give constant recognition to all that is in you, and, in that all have full faith and confidence. Give the bigger being on he inside full right of way. Believe thoroughly in your greater interior self. Know that you have something within you that is great than any obstacle, circumstance or difficulty that you can possibly meet. Then in the full faith in this greater something, proceed with your work."

Moving Forward – Never Giving Up

Do you ever feel like the world is too heavy for you to carry? There is too much work, not enough hours in the day, and before you know it your motivation and energy to even begin the work has left you - leaving you wondering why you suddenly procrastinate all that needs to get done...

I've been feeling like this lately - simply wanting to stay out of the office because the papers are piling up, work needs to be done, but because of the type of work (taxes, filing, reorganizing) I make excuses to postpone it to tomorrow, then tomorrow, then tomorrow.

And if you know a little bit of Feng Shui, then you know that clutter has a powerful effect on keeping us stagnant and stuck.

Or perhaps you need to clear your life in general (from negativity, or people who are negative), and you postpone and you delay and you procrastinate. And before long where there was one tiny challenge, there now is a big elephant of a problem.

I hope these words help.

More wisdom from Christian Larson:

"Man lives to move forward, to move forward is to live more.

"To live more is to be more and do mpre; and it is being and doing that constitutes the path of happiness.

"The more you are the more you do, the richer your life, the great your joy. But being and doing must always live together as one.

"To try to be much and not try to do much is to find life a barren waste. To try to do much and not try to be much is to find life a burden too heavy and wearisome to bear.

"The being of much gives the necessary inspiration and the necessary power to the doing of much.

"The doing of much gives the necessary expression to the being of much. And it is in the bringing forth of being through the act of doing that produces happiness that is happiness.

"Being much gives capacity for doing much. Doing much gives expression to the richest and the best that is within us. And the more we increase the richness of that which is within us, the more we increase our happiness, provided we increase, in the same proportion, the expression of that greater richness.

"The first essential is provided for by the being of much; the second, by the doing of much; and the secret of both may be found by him who lives to move forward."

Be Strong

As I am going through a heartache and some personal mourning, Christian Larson's words are soothing balm to my heart and soul. May you find something to hold on to in his words as well, even if it's only the strand that keeps you from drowning in your sorrow today.

"Man is ever in search of strength. It is the strong man that wins. It is the man with power that scales the heights. To be strong is to be great; and it is the privilege of greatness to satisfy every desire, every aspiration, every need. But strength is not for the few alone; it is for all, and the way to strength is simple. Proceed this very moment to the mountain tops of the strength you now possess, and whatever may happen do not come down. Do not weaken under adversity. Resolve to remain as strong, as determined and as highly enthused during the darkest night of adversity as you are during the sunniest day of prosperity. Do not feel disappointed when things seem disappointing. Keep the eye single upon the same brilliant future regardless of circumstances, conditions or events. Do not lose heart when things go wrong. Continue undisturbed in your original resolve to make all things go right. To be overcome by adversity and threatening failure is to lose strength; to always remain in the same lofty, determined mood is to constantly grow in strength. The man who never weakens when things are against him will grow stronger and stronger until all things will delight to be for him. He will finally have all the strength he may desire or need. Be always strong and you will always be stronger."

Promise Yourself

Life has been fragile since my return from yet another visit with death. I've had more lives than a cat and I once again find myself on a journey fighting to want to be here in this suit, making a difference in the world. And as I search for meaning and my new path, I came across an e-book I downloaded several years ago, by Christian Larson. Although written around the 1900s, his words are exactly what I need to hear. I will be posting snippets of his work that resonate with me, in the hopes that you too can find encouragement, meaning and strength of character from within.

Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Promise Yourself These Things!

Gratitude for “What a Journey”

My last official post from April 20th was written with a big stomach ache. Little did I know that I was posting it with a ruptured appendix. What’s interesting is that the day before, on Sunday, I made my “usual list” of people currently in my life, their purpose and my purpose in theirs. I was sad to see that so many paths with the people on my “list” had come to an end. I had become the “unpaid” therapist and the shoulder so many lean on, yet no one really had the strength to stand on their own without reverting back to chaos. It saddened me to see what I perhaps handed out was sympathy rather than self-empowerment. I asked the Universal forces to help me release them and send them on their way with my blessings. This was Sunday.

Monday morning I started to develop a stomach ache and I remember sitting and meditating while realizing that the “digestion of letting go” of these people was painful. By Monday evening I was so ill that I started to vomit uncontrollably. "I definitely had chewed off too much by letting go so many people at once," is what I thought to myself, thus my vomiting. I posted “Flow” because it’s what I told myself all day long: “Flow with this, let them go in peace, flow with it. This is the part you burst into fragments and into many pieces, flow with it.”

By Wednesday in the middle of the night I had collapsed after going to the bathroom and my teenager woke up and called 911. By the time I got into surgery my appendix had been ruptured for approximately 48 hours, the doctor said. Thursday I started to develop pneumonia and everyone was concerned that I would not make it.

Everyone but me.

I was busy in my mind sorting through the lessons and asking countless questions: Why this? Why now?

Five days and five burst IV infections later I was released last Monday. I immediately came home and got into Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life,” where I found exactly what I suspected:

“Appendicitis: Fear of flow of life.”

Yes! I was definitely scared to take the flow of life the way I had mapped it out. Losing people once again!? I feel like every month, every quarter, I make new friends and I let others go. I’m not even half way through my life journey and I feel like I constantly sift and sift…

Then I remembered what my Tibeten Master taught me. The belly button remains our only physical and emotional connection to our mother, and it’s also our “fear” center. Unresolved or relationships that are still too attached to our mothers bring forth a more painful belly button when pushed in by the thumb. My belly button doesn’t hurt when I push it in with my thumb, however, I have had my gallbladder removed through my belly button and now my appendix. Twice have I attempted to perhaps disconnect my own relationship to motherhood (or turn it inside out). Perhaps not my own mother, but maybe the mother I am to everyone out there.

It's time for me to stop being a mother to everyone and let people fly on their own. Everyone creates their own reality - and therefore everyone can get themselves out of the messes they have created by themselves. All I can be from now on is a catalyst...

I’m on a journey and rather than bringing sympathy to people, which is of no use to anyone at all, I choose to help people find their own power from within themselves.

You have a journey to walk, a path that you’ve agreed to undertake in this life time. Live it to your fullest!

Recovery Time

Hello Everyone,

I apologize for the long delay on having contributed to my own blog. Last week during my last update called "Flow," I was actually at home feeling sick with a stomach flu. What looked and felt like a stomach flu was in reality in a bursting appendix. I was hospitalized in the middle of the night early on Wednesday morning, for a ruptured appendix removal. There were some complications and although I just returned home, I am taking the time to heal my body and give it the well deserved rest it needs. Plus, I'm not quite "done yet" with the lessons I have learned over these past 7 days, which I gratefully want to share with you.

Hope you had a great last week and stay tuned!

Flow

The following poem was written by Rita & Joel McInnis. The title of the poem is called "Flow." The poem happens to describe the meaning of my name, and it happens to be the blueprint by which I want to live my life. Perhaps you'll understand yourself a little better after reading it yourself.

Flow

Be
As water is
Without friction

Flow around the edges
Of those within your path
Surround within your ever-moving depths
Those who come to rest there –
Enfold them
While never for a moment holding on

Accept whatever distance
Others are moved within your flow
Be with them gently
As far as they allow your strength to take them
And fill with your own being
The remaining space when they are left behind
When dropping down life’s rapids
Froth and bubble into fragments if you must
Knowing that the one of you now many
Will just as many times be one again

And when you’ve gone as far as you can go
Quietly await your next beginning...

When I'm So Sad...

I am okay
I am not broken
I may just be out of sync
And out of balance
Crying helps
Although it’s exhausting
I’m tired
I need a moment
To regain my Self
To reconnect to my Self
My Higher Self

Take a deep breath
He’s out there
No worries
No fretting
No squeezing any square pegs into round holes
Not necessary
No taking steps backwards
Look forward
Learn from the past
Then let it go

The world is changing
Energy is moving
All the time
People make lasting impressions
Embedded into our energy patterns
I carry with me all of the encounters
Important and unimportant
Deep or shallow
They’re with me
On my journey to resolve my karma

What is my karma?
It’s never too late
To change for the better
Never too late
To change karma
Take responsibility
There is always only one cause
And within
There’s nothing without
Only within

Be your own
Take your own
Give your own
Share your own
To multiply I must divide myself
To receive others I must give myself

And so I pray for my enemies
I pray for their health
And wish them peace
I bless them with happiness
I bring them love
And forgiveness
I bless them with honesty
And remorse
And excitement
Long life
And justice
A sense of heavenly bliss
All these things I wish upon my enemies

And when I feel the need to seek revenge
I turn and transmute
The feelings of darkness
Into pure love and light

Then I realize that the sun never worries about shining only on those that were "good" the day before

The sun shines on everyone because the sun has only one purpose:

To Shine and to Warm Everyone and Everything...

And to Help Everyone Grow...

Making Pitchers Overflow vs. Creating Deserts

The plea for help from men over the past couple of weeks has been overwhelming and alarming. I have had conversations with at least four men about the droughts in their marriages and partnerships they are experiencing. And I have had several more conversations with woman, some married, some single, about their marriages and partnerships. And the overwhelming unanimous opinion remains: men are holding on to their marriages for dear life (mostly because of the children), with much compromising and much “internal dying.” While women are secretly wishing that “they would just leave them alone.” They too have withered and are about to die like a flower without water in the desert heat.

I have created some picture- and photo-illustrations to make my point clear. And please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not trying to fix what “Adam and Eve” seemingly have screwed up for all humanity from the beginning of time. The illustrations hopefully will bring some consciousness to those of you who are hurting (including myself).

The percentages here are perhaps a drastic exaggeration, maybe they are an under-exaggeration. As long as it gets the point across:

If women are “wired” so that their needs are 90% Emotional and 10% Physical, then it is only logical that men’s “wiring make-up” is the opposite: 10% Emotional and 90% Physical.

“Why?” you may ask. “Why can’t men be 90% emotional like we are as women?” you may ask.
“Why can’t women be more sexual and physical and leave the drama outside the bedroom door?” you may ask.

It is believed that the planet is made up of 97% water. And it is believed that we as humans consist of 80-90% water. In reality there is a discrepancy because the equation has to be equal. Either the planet is made up of 80-90%, as we are. Or humans are made up of 97% water as is the planet. I’d say it’s easier to measure the water content of a human being, than it is to measure all of the water on this vast planet. Perhaps there is more landmass than we originally thought of? Maybe there is a surface beneath our broad seas that has remained undiscovered?

Whatever the case may be, just like the planet is complex, we as humans are just as complex, if not more so. The planet, however, has figured out how to work with masculine and feminine energy by mastering its giving and re-giving principle that keeps this entire galaxy in balance. In fact, every animal and plant submits to this balance. It is only us, humans, who constantly and flagrantly bring ourselves willingly out of balance. Only so we can blame our male or female counterpart for our bad choices and failures.

Why do we do this to ourselves? What is it about humans that leaves us to become “suckers for suffering?” When is Enough truly enough? How sick and how unhappy must we get before we start living and enjoying the happiness we have agreed to come here to experience?

Look at this picture here. If both pitchers are full, both partners have enough to give to overflow and give back to humanity. Yes, women in general do need more emotional “feeding” and men need more physical fulfillment. And in doing so the circle of life and energy has found its opposite end of the pole.

Why is it that we deliberately withhold what the other needs from us?

The complaints and concerns I have gotten from the men, which all range from the physical arena by not getting any or very little sex at home, to them feeling drained by having to work so much because the wife wants to stay home and spend his money. Men don’t understand that when a woman spends money on clothes or goes to the spa or gets cosmetic surgery or whatever she spends his money on, that she’s trying to fill up her emotional “pitcher” so she can continue giving her nurturing Self to her children and her friends. Women don’t understand that by withholding her body from her beloved husband, she is emptying and drying up his pitcher content that he needs to have the energy and the desire to continue go out there and work for the family. Both lose. Both get sick over time. And there is no other way than for Mother Nature to reflect the drought these couples have brought upon themselves to the outside world in form of a separation or divorce.

When the earth stops giving moisture to the heavens, the heavens are incapable of re-giving the moisture in form of rain so grass and flowers and beauty can grow: thus a desert is born.

When the earth gives plenty of moisture to the heavens the skies are capable and must re-give this same moisture in form of rain back to the earth: thus we experience forrests full of life, such as the Amazon forrest.

The same principle applies to us humans and the land of marriage. Yet so many are living in the Sahara Desert when it comes to our marriage. We have stopped giving what the other so desperately needs to bloom and live...

Neither of us, male nor female, understand that each of us is only a half cycle of the full life cycle.

A woman at the dog park said to me that she feels if there were only women on the planet there would be no war. I told her that without the contrast women would surely create their own wars that would be worse than what we experience today. It’s part of the illusion we live in. Women feel that they would be better off without their men, when in fact they’d only replace that emotional need with other methods, such as shopping, spending, drama, backstabbing other women and whatever else women do to find a purpose for existing every day.

And a world without women? Well, we don't have to go far to see what this would look like: Look at any male prison for the answer...

I started to teach a new class of 19 exquisite and wonderful women this past week. One of our classes this week was how women relate to money so differently than men. The questions and answers revealed how “old tapes” from growing up have embedded a strong belief in us that we are still to be provided for by our men. Not one woman realized that she could have her own relationship with money and that as long as she treated money like her best friend, money would stick around and bless her in only the best ways, just like a husband who has all his needs met would continually provide for her in every thinkable way. The conversation took a turn to marriages where couples are truly married for love, and one very mature woman who happens to be a psychologist, shared that the only successful and happy marriages she has ever seen is where the husband almost “worships” the woman and the woman reciprocates that treatment by treating him “like a god” as well.

I call this concept: give 100% and expect 0%.

Unfortunately most think partnerships are a case of 50/50. If I give only 50% and withhold the other 50%, how can I expect the other person to give 100% to me? We'll both always fall short.

We need each other so much and yet by kicking in our heals as women by demanding emotional love we only frustrate our men. And by men demanding sex even if their women have nothing to give emotionally, they too will soon “run on empty.”

I only have one piece of advice to give to those who are in this situation. Take out a piece of paper and write a note to the Universe, God, the Heavens, the Light Source, whatever you believe in. Write down something like this but in your own words:

“Thank you for giving me my one and only life partner who unconditionally loves and adores me and whom I love and respect as well. S/he’s now in my life and I am filled with true and unconditional love and I am so grateful. If this is my current partner, then open my eyes so I can see what I have previously not been able to see. If this is someone else, then I thank you for revealing this partner to me now and I gratefully release my current partner in love so s/he can find his/her rightful partner as well. And so it is.”

Warning: I wrote something like this several years ago while I was still married. It was as if the Universe was saying: "Finally, she's given us permission to set her free." A week later my husband and I agreed to separate. Our frequencies were so far apart that the electric Universe had no choice but to deliver my request. Although shocked and in tears, I realized that I had gotten exactly what I asked for. So don't be suprised if life is about forever to change for you as well.

If you are in a relationship that sucks your life essence out of you and you truly appreciate and love your current partner but know that he or she is not for you, then for love’s sake let them go. They deserve a chance at true love just like you do and by you hanging on and pounding on this square peg to make it fit into the round hole you are only hurting yourself and them.

You were blessed with a soul to embody a physical 4-layered body suit so you could come here to live a glorious live that embodies our true light source. Not satisfying the trust that was given you to live such a magnificent life is insulting the light you are and preventing your light source to shine through you.

It’s time for you to get back home to your true Self and stop compromising and giving up pieces of your Self until you have become a dry Desert.

Popular belief lets us believe that partnerships and marriages are a compromise, it should never be so. Partnerships are an enrichment to an already rich life that allows you to live life in an even more euphoric stage that you could not have experienced if you didn’t have your true life partner. And unless you live such a euphoric life, you are with the wrong partner. He or she may be a good partner, but wrong for you nonetheless…

So go after your true Self and remain your authentic individual self once and for all…Only then can you find your true life partner and together you’ll be able to experience overflowing pitchers that can give back to the vast sea of people who need your blessings and love.

Heart Breaks - And the Power of Sound

What organ(s) specifically hurt when we say “my heart is broken”? After all, if we would be hooked up to an EKG machine right after or during a “heart break” we’d be surprised to find out that the EKG won’t signal any major changes that would indicate the diagnosis of a heart break.

So with all of us experiencing emotional pain at some point in our lives, what part of us exactly is affected?

Why is it that, when we get hit or spanked as a child, we may remember the memory of the event but what truly brings us pain are the words that went along with the spanking. How many of you have been hit as a child and when you think about it today and try to determine which body part hurts even to this day, there isn’t one you can detect. However, if the hitting was accompanied by “you’re such a bad girl/boy” or “you’re so dumb” or “you’ll never amount to anything” – those are words that to all eternity stay with us and it is those that bring forth the same sinking feeling that we got when we first heard them.

Granted, we live and we grow and we resolve and we forgive and we let go. And over time we heal, although we may never forget…

When I was 15 I had a death experience during which I was privileged enough to float through a tunnel and see the light. I was given a moment in eternity’s time to “touch” the light and become one with it. Yet “touching” this light was all I needed to sustain me to move forward once back in this world. What amazed me most was the knowing that became so apparent, about what was truth and what was not. With a 360 degree view on every plane, emotional, physical, spiritual, karmic, and so on, it became obvious that the humming of angels that I heard was in fact the means of transportation, the engine if you will.

There are absolutely no words in the English language that would suffice to describe the love and beauty that I experienced during those moments. I remember first waking up and coming back to this life and the first and most profound “thing” was the overwhelming feeling of love that I felt while being transported through this amazing place. Slowly and day after day the experience unfolded before me as I was able to process it and make sense of it. It still is to this day.

What has stayed with me and what I have finally started to realize over the past few years, is that everything that exists and does not exist, is on the basis of sound. For musicians this may be balm to their soul, because they already know what the rest of the world doesn’t know. Music is healing (provided it is soothing to ones soul).

Decades ago an experiment was made by a man named Chladney. By putting sand on metal plates of different sizes and then pulling a violin string along the metal plate, he created a sound, which caused the sand to start “dancing” and reformat itself to beautiful designs upon the plates. Today, Dr. Emoto is doing the same kind of work by photographing water in its frozen state. Over the decades we have simply become more sophisticated to demonstrate what we already know: sound is all there is for us to know and work with because it is created by light. With sound we heal. With sound we destroy. To get to the "right" types of sound we have to get connected to the light source. The one and only.

Rudolf Steiner (Waldorf Education) wrote books about the 7-year cycle, which every human submits to. It’s a rhythm that we each undergo, as does everything else in the world. Based on his studies he proved that the lungs are the last organs to develop in a child, which is around 14 years old. According to Steiner, a child that has to listen to negativity, yelling, drama, gossip and other non-sense most of this world offer, will not develop healthy organs but retarded organs, which later comes back to bite us in form of ailments in our older age.

A few years ago I became a Reiki Master and with the symbols given I was amazed to find out that by a simple laying on of hands I would be able to help someone get rid of a migraine in just a couple of minutes. Later I found out that if I can blow on the painful area and put my hands on the surrounding area, that the healing would take place more permanently and much quicker. Then I remembered the sounds in “the tunnel” and I asked the Spirit world to provide me with the key notes to use the right sounds to help someone. Yes, this sounds weird, but if you’ve read the previous post on Hiring the Heavens, and you’ve tried it, then this is not a surprise to you. Suddenly I started to realize that I intuitively know what sounds to make and where on the body someone is hurting. By making the appropriate sound (and I never know what sound comes out of me) the frequency of the painful area seems to get scrambled and the pain disappears. When I intuitively look into a person's body that is hurting, all I see is dense electric areas of specific colors. I only use my hands to fill that space with love and light, once the pain has left. Then I realized that by using my voice even while I talk to a person, without them even knowing, there is a frequency that is emitted to them and their pain is leaving by just talking to me, even if the topic we’re talking about has noting to do with their ailment. That is why I decided to record my e-book onto a 6-hour CD. Almost everyone who has bought the audio book tells me that they are transported into a deep meditative state and they often fall asleep. I'm being assured that it is not because it's boring, because it certainly isn't, but that it's because of my voice. And everyone loves the feeling they get. It's a feeling of healing...

I’m not saying these things to get clients or to brag – because I don’t take clients and this is not the work that I do. I am sharing this with you because you too have a frequency that you emit every time you talk. I am going to take this a bit further and say that you not only emit this frequency when you open your mouth, but also when you look at someone, especially when your eyes meet. And going even further, I am sharing with you that your frequency gets emitted to your surroundings by you simply existing and being in a certain location. You don’t even have to look at someone or talk to someone, you influence the place you’re in, whether you like it or not.

So let’s get back to hearts that are broken. First of all, our hearts are not breakable. It’s a figure of speech and yet it’s one that we all have experienced and that is very real to all of us. By using some simple sound techniques you can heal your own heart, rather than hoping that the person who hurt you will bring you healing, or your children, or your spouse, or someone or something else.

Here it is:

Hum

You may say: “That’s it!? All I have to do is hum? That’s too easy!”

You don’t have to be a singer and come up with any melody to hum and heal your own heart. All you have to do is hum. Close your eyes and take on a comfortable position, sit on a bench out in nature or better yet, sit on the grass or in the woods on a tree trunk or stay standing hugging a tree. Feel Mother Nature running through your veins, imagine your blood running through your body, follow the red and white blood cells, examine them, be amazed at them. Watch your own atoms as they are changing and forever working in service to you, be in awe because you’re a magnificent Being. Then silently ask your guidance system to help you hum the right notes to break loose any non-beneficial cells that may be blocking you from moving forward and from renewing yourself. Start humming ever so slowly and at a level that maybe only you can hear. This is not about coming up with a new one hit wonder – this is about breaking loose non-beneficial pain and cells that are ready to be let go of.

Another way of starting is to let yourself float out into the Universe and visit other galaxies and to let “them” show you the humming sound of the Universe. When I do this all I hear is a deep electric sound. Most people call this the Om. You can start there, although I want to caution you. The Universe has its own vibration, which is the Om. You on the other hand have your own key stroke, and I can’t tell you what yours is, because mine may be different than yours. You’ll have to find your own.

And the last way to get this key is to focus on your neck area when you meditate. There is a little flame, a pilot light if you will, that shines brighter some days and not so bright other days. It carries the key of your note within it. If you can find this light and tune in to it, then your note will be revealed to you this way.

Yes, it sounds too easy and it is simple. However, the hard part becomes you having the patience until you are revealed your tone so you can hum the exact tune your higher self is giving you. This may very well be one of the most difficult thing you’ll ever do. But when you have figured out the key to your exact tune, you’ll have the key to not only heal your own body, but you can heal your surroundings and your life situations.

Remember to ask for help, and you will receive. Ask for the tune to be shown to you, and it shall be so.

Please let me know how you’re doing on your journey and if you’ve found your key.

Our Body as Symbols

We often forget that our body is a vehicle and an exact replica of what’s going on inside of us. Not inside our bodies, but inside our emotional world. Not only is our body today a summary of all the previous life times we have lived, every limb and every body part has a function and is representing something that is also happening in our internal world, including past lives. We dismiss a cold and a flu to seasonal expectations. We accept teenage acne and pimples to be normal and everyone expects to get weaker and more bridle as we grow older. No one asks questions beyond these expectations, which is really too bad because our bodies are communicating so much more to us.

Skin Issues:
When I was born for example, I was plagued with extreme eczema to the point where my skin was bleeding in many areas over my body. I was haunted by allergies all year round and my mother had to take me to the University of Zurich to get tested. I was a little girl and to this day remember the fear of needles I developed from having been poked and prodded so much.

Over the years on a journey of self discovery and healing I have learned a lot about body symbols. Today I get compliments about my nice skin. Pure coconut oil is all I put on my skin today and I make sure to get a little bit of sun every day. No one would ever have thought that I grew up with skin that was broken and leathery and covered in patches of unhealthy tissue. Doctors were here to fix the symptoms, to fix the effects. So I was given cortisone shots and creams and solutions to bathe in; I was forbidden to eat this and that and couldn’t touch animals and on and on the list went.

The cause, however, was within me, and me only. It wasn’t within my parents and it wasn’t within the doctors, it was only within me. And because I was a little girl, I wasn’t wise enough to know what this cause was. And my parents weren’t conscious enough to know what to look for or how to interpret the symbols. Today with hindsight being my best friend, I realize that I never wanted to be on this planet in the first place. I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t want to be here. The Universe took my discomfort and my unwillingness to be on this planet and created the outward appearance to make my wish its command. Thus my attempted suicide when I was 15. It’s that simple.

Pimples and Acne:
Teenagers get pimples and acne and there is a perfectly logical medical explanation for it, as there is for everything else. And medicine for it is plentiful. However, did it ever occur to anyone that a teenager’s real job is to break free and break away from their parents in order to find themselves and be ready to move out at 18 (or thereabouts)? For those of you who have teenagers, you know that you bud heads with your teenager a lot more than you did with your 5 year old. My 15 year old daughter asked: “Why is it that you push my buttons like no one else? And how is it that you’re always in my face?” And I told her: “It’s your job to separate from me by finding your Self. And you do that by finding how far you can push your boundaries. So you push and push and when the rubber band snaps and you’ve gone too far, I pull you back to teach you some more life lessons so you can be ready to move out soon and be a responsible and conscious adult.”

There are only three words here that reveal why teenagers have pimples and acne: “In my face.”

As adults we constantly are in teenagers’ faces and we tell them what to do, we punish them and we are constantly “nagging” them to do things differently. Of course as parents we do this in the name of love. But to the teenager we are nags and if we would just get out of their faces, they’d be better off (at least that’s what they think). If you are a parent and your teenager has a lot of acne and pimples and you don’t feel that you’re in your teenager’s face all the time, don’t get mad at me. Look at the evidence as it never lies. Even if your teenager says you’re the best parent ever, there is still a subconscious opinion that you’re in their face too much.

What about pimples on your body? “Get off my back!” Who is on your back that’s causing your body wanting to get rid of them? And don’t blame it on your age or the hormone changes. Those are just excuses.

Shoulders:
A couple of days ago I was stretching next to a young man in his 20s whom I hadn’t seen at the gym in a couple of weeks. He said that he hurt his other shoulder by dropping weights on his “good shoulder.” He pointed to his right shoulder and said that this was his bad shoulder. And I logically thought to myself that he had a tough childhood and serious unresolved issues going on with his father. Subconsciously the shoulders are where we carry life’s burdens. The right shoulder reflects the masculine side, or issues with their own masculinity or our fathers. Then he told me that he dropped the weight on his good shoulder, the left one. And I thought to myself that he’s carrying around some unresolved issues relating to femininity, his mother or a girlfriend. As we started to talk I found out that his mother came to the US when she was 7 months pregnant, to give birth to him. She then went back to France where she moved in with her Mom and then left her son (this young man) with his grandmother until he was 5 years old. When he was 5 she called for him and he moved to Los Angeles. Today he’s in his 20s and he doesn’t talk to his father anymore and wants nothing to do with him (thus his right shoulder issues) and the left shoulder is easily explainable with his journey trying to make sense of the female species. He’s carrying a heavy burden on both shoulders from both masculine and feminine. And until he resolves these issues his shoulders will not have a chance to heal.

So how can he fix his shoulder? By taking MRIs, taking pain killers, doing stretches and exercises?

Or by dealing with the real issues at heart?

Our bodies are just symbols that are talking to us. All we need to do is listen. Our bodies want to be our biggest advocates and best friends. They want to be here to serve us so we can go through this life journey with a healthy vehicle that will serve us with energy and pleasure, not pain and discomfort (which only removes our willingness to complete our purpose here).

Remember that there is always only ONE cause, which is always inside you. There are always multiple effects, which are always outside. You can never fix a cause by fixing the ripple effects. Chasing after ripple effects on a lake will prove to be a waste of time. Go after the cause, it’s much quicker, it’s permanent and it will set you free.

Our bodies are amazing tools and symbols and if we just pay attention then we can live this life with eyes wide open. We become our own healers as we learn that we are the doers of every ailment we carry, from the smallest pimple to even cancer. The answers and the cure are always inside of us.

My entire 6-hour Audio CD and e-Book talks about these topics. If you want to get true healing from the inside out and be the healer of your own life, visit http://www.inspirationtolive.com/ and get your own copy today.

Sending you awakening rays of sunlight to reveal your path to health.