When We Experience Loss

Today is a rather “sad” day for me because I am watching my almost 15-year old daughter work her way through yet another loss of her friends.

When I was 15 I had to deal with parents or teachers that upset me and perhaps the pimples in my face. Never in my life would I have thought that my own 15 year old child at this stage in life would be forced to deal with so many losses.

One of her friends went to visit his cousin this past weekend when he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time – he was killed in a drive-by shooting.

A few months ago another one of her friends went to a family reunion where she laid down on a pillow in one of the rooms. A gun underneath the pillow went off and killed her instantly.

The tragedies go on for my daughter, they have been simply too numerous over the past few years, yet I don’t want to depress you.

So today is a day I spend in silence and reflection, going over the losses my daughter has experienced to date, learning from this, reflecting, meditating, finding and eminating peace.

I know she is not the exception to losses, many people lose friends all the time. The older we get the more friends and family members we lose, and soon we know for certain that we indeed are anything but invincible.

The world is so stressed out that we have forgotten what it means to be at peace. We lost electricity a couple of times this winter season and it was such a blessing to me. There was no humming in the house anywhere, everything was off and quiet. My teenager, however, was without a cell phone, without TV or computer or telephone, and the world seemed to have fallen apart for her after a couple of days without access to the outside world. Those used to be my most blessed days when I was a teenager. Besides, we didn’t have cell phones or laptops and TV watching was monitored heavily.

How many of adults today can’t go anywhere without their cell phones on? How many of adults today can’t go a week without watching TV or reading the newspaper without feeling like you’re losing it? Yet how many of you remember the last time you spent an entire day in absolute silence, without talking to anyone all day long, simply listening to Mother Nature and your inner Self?

Today, take a breather. It’s Friday – go home early. Relax. Spend your time alone out in nature with the peace only nature can bring out from within you. Let her whisper to you the wisdom of the olden days; Mother Nature hasn’t forgotten; she talks of it all the time in the gentle swaying of the wind ruffling through the many flowers, trers and bushes around you. Listen to her and find peace today and know that you are the most special Being of all.

Peace and love don’t come to you, they come from within you and spread out towards your horizon.

When The Heart Seems to Break and Our Body is Red Flagging Us

My neck has been hurting for a few days and last night I was having a difficult time sleeping and couldn’t find the right position for my neck. I had ignored it on the first day and “blamed it” on my having talked on the telephone while holding the phone between my shoulder and ear. Thinking that it would go away after a day of good stretching at the gym, it actually has gotten worse. Yesterday I finally took the time to sit down and meditate about it. Why was I stiff-necked? What did I have my blinders on for? Whose side did I not want to see? After all, our necks are for us to turn our heads so we can see in all directions.

As I took inventory of the past two weeks, I realized that I had been more and more tense and irritable and it showed in the way I dealt with my daughter. She seemed to have found some extra buttons I didn’t know I had, and she pushed them like a little 2 year old that just found a treasure.

But there was something else. Something that takes courage to be open about, at least for me.

Two weeks ago a gentleman asked for my phone number. Over the past year I had hoped he would ask for my number, and he finally did (patience is a virtue after all).

Something was wrong though, I couldn’t put my finger on it. As soon as I walked away I felt something not being right. Do you ever get this feeling? I tried to brush it off and go with the flow of life and “wait and see” what happens. After he didn’t call me for 4 days, I decided to listen to my intuition and find out what this feeling was about. I asked him why he asked me for my phone number and besides assuring me that he will definitely call, he also told me that he was “kind’a seeing someone” but that it’s “coming towards the end.”

(I’m backup plan B for this guy!?)

There it was! My intuition was hinting at something, even though I had to find out for myself what it was (or I could have chosen to ignore it and just wait).

I had a choice to make. Did I want to go with my emotional and physical feelings and “wait” for this guy to get his act together, or did I want to stick up for myself and forget about him (see previous post on sticking up for ourselves)? I decided that neither is really necessary or applicable.

When building specs ask for a 4x4 post, any building contractor will use a 4x4 post. The strongest point of a 4x4 is in the center. If he were to use two 2x4s put together, he would find a center that is hallow, empty, and weak. Just like this relationship would have been. He is a “square peg in the round hole” – something neither of us would have been happy with, and heart ache would have been the end result.

Am I still attracted to this guy? Absolutely, I was a year ago. And for over a year I have been wondering “what if.” Now the wondering is over, now I know. Although he may have wondered why I was riding him so hard about not calling, I had nothing to lose and only time and honor to gain. I was divinely blessed to find out right away, before my heart got involved too much and before I gave something away that I could never take back.

So yes, I’m a bit sad, but mostly I’m curious as to why I attracted an unavailable guy. If Lao Russell’s words are true when she says: “The whole universe is a mirror which reflects back to us that which we first reflect forward into it,” then my work here is not done. In fact, it may have just begun. It’s obvious from my neck pain and until I am getting this lesson figured out my body will continue to “flag me” down.

So when your body is talking to you even if in the slightest way, try not to dismiss it. Listen to it, take your time and sit with it, ask it to tell you what’s up. And it will, your body is your greatest friend, an assembly of symbols and mechanical extensions that act up when they’re not at ultimate peace within your higher self.

Life is an amazing journey and I hope you feel as blessed as I am to be a part of the greater divine plan.

May rays of sunshine brighten your path and your face today so you can glow and radiate!

More On The Topic Of Sex

It’s interesting once Pandora’s box is opened how people just come out of the woodworks to discuss their views and issues with the topic of sex. After I posted the previous topic on sex, several people, both men and women, came to me with their points of view. Interesting to say the least!

One gentleman said: “When I’m stressed all I want is release from my wife. But she just won’t give it up for me as often as I’d need it.” Let’s evaluate these statements:

Him: “Wants release."
Her: “Won’t give it up.”

“Release” infers to something you do in order to become relaxed. “Giving something up” means what it literally means: Giving something up or giving something away. “Why is this so difficult for her to understand?” he asked me.

I’m not a sex therapist so I answered the best way I could: with honesty about how I would feel as a woman in the same situation.

First of all, the world “release” does not contain the act of “giving” at all. The word “giving up” does, however. When a woman feels that she is not being given something she automatically feels that she is giving something up. The word “release” reeks of “taking” or being taken advantage of for the benefit of someone else. Even if that is not the case for the man, the most important act of giving is missing when a man seeks release only.

I tried to explain to him that “men don’t have flow.” Nothing on their bodies flow except their runny noses, a tad bit of ear wax and perhaps a tear every decade or so. Think about it. Women on the other hand flow constantly from multiple places. They cry a lot more than men do, they have their periods once a month, or thereabouts, and their vagina constantly flows by droplets and dribbles here and there. Flow is important for our bodies, which are made up of approximately 80%, depending on whom you ask. Flow keeps energies moving, flow keeps bodies regenerating, flow keeps rejuvenating, flow means relaxation, the very relaxation a man is seeking. Thus, men are seeking the same kind of flow, but physically are unable to find it unless a woman provides that opportunity for flow for them (or they help themselves, which only satisfies half of the giving cycle).

The Japanese culture believes that a man’s way to heaven on earth is through a woman’s vagina. The Japanese women believe that the only way their heavenly gates to heaven are opened with the help of a man. I find the “give and re-give” philosophy in this culture loving and oh-so-true.

Women feel that they are “giving something up” because they are being penetrated and “filled” with the essence of the man, which stays in a woman for up to a week, literally. Long after the man has “flowed” and his body is ready for more release, his woman still walks around with this flow, his essence, his DNA, his karma. Again, the Sanskrits believe that a woman takes on her man’s karma after she has shared her physical body with him. This is true in the most literal way possible.

So why do women withhold themselves from their men, often to punish their man? I’m assuming the reasons are manifold; somewhere between “showing him whose boss” and her simply not being able to “give up” whatever she feels like she’s giving up, and possibly the unbearable energy that she unmistakably takes on if she accepts “his flow.”

It doesn’t matter what I personally believe because the only person I can physically take care of is the “man of my life,” the one who will one day help me open the door to the kingdom of heaven here on earth. It’s not the release that is important, it’s the few moments of complete rest right after both beings have literally emptied their batteries into one, that’s where the blissful state is because during those moments is when both batteries are being recharged fully (provided both batteries are chemically a perfect match).

I have come to look at women as beautiful flowers, a most wonderful garden that needs warmth and sunshine in order to let the flowers blossom. Their man in life is that sun constantly shining his warmth and rays of light onto the garden. If you as a man succeed in doing so without scorching her and without withholding your light for too long, your flower won’t have a physical choice but to open herself to you on a daily basis.

I have come to look at men as the amazing and life giving warm sun that loves to shine on the beautiful garden because he takes pleasure in the openness of his garden. She realizes that her openness and blossoming appearance is what keeps him shining on her every day of her life and she never withholds herself from his warmth and his rays of light.

Go shine on someone today. Go open your pedals today and make someone gaze at you in the beautiful sunlight!

Abundance - Letting Go and Starting Over - Counting The Cost

I feel so blessed to have been asked to teach sermons at New Thought Churches and have started to record them to encourage others like you as well. I am not a religious person and would not consider myself "belonging" to any denomination other than the devotion to the overall great divine plan, of which we are all part of. I am fascinated with the science of the mind, and undoubtedly the great divine is even better understood if one understands the science of our marvelous minds.

The lessons are non-threatening and non-religious, although I do list scriptures that are referred to in a way so everyone can relate.

The first CD with 3 lessons is now available. Each lesson is approximately 20-25 minutes long for a total of approximately 1 hour. The CD features the following lessons:

1: Abundance
2: Letting Go and Starting Over
3: Counting The Cost

You can purchse the CD now for only $15 by clicking the PayPal button to the right below my picture.