Transforming Chronic Illness Into Vibrant Health

Forever Peace

2008-06-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

When I decided to get into the dating scene a few weeks ago I was simply compartmentalizing that part of my life into its own category, away from everything else, at least so I thought. Little did I know what would take place over the next few weeks. While this originally started as a site to talk about "Transforming Chronic Illness Into Vibrant Health", it is obvious that I don't want to talk about chronic illness or ailments, which would only increase your ill feeling. And this is certainly not a "poor you" site where we pity you because of your ailments. It’s a site to examine where chronic illness and unhappiness come from. And since many would love to blame their external world, all those things come from within.

I have found over and over again that many illnesses are related to stress and most stress is related to wrong partnerships. Even the stress that some think is related to jobs or money are in fact really related to people being with wrong partnerships, wrong friends, wrong employers and wrong co-workers. Whether we are stuck in a job with co-workers or a boss we can’t stand, or we are stuck in a marriage or relationship that has long outlived its welcome, stress of this kind is a major reason for so many of our ailments. In fact it has been said that cancer is anger turned inward…

I didn’t just decide to start dating a few weeks ago, the decision was made last December. I took 5-6 solid months of preparing by asking myself serious questions. Questions like: “Who am I as a dating partner?” "What do I really have to offer?" “What are my ethical standards?” “How do I want to handle each encounter, either in person or via e-mail?” How do I want my dating partner to feel after an encounter with me?” “What do I have to bring and offer to this other person?” And on and on I asked myself these questions, getting very clear with who I am and what I want, but most importantly, what I want the other person to walk away with, whether or not there would ever be a phone call or anything beyond an e-mail. For me it's all about kindness.

And I’m so blessed to see that I have stuck to my intentions and they have paid off so gloriously! So much so that a thought crossed my mind last week that perhaps I need to become an Internet Dating Coach and Expert...

My profile has been viewed almost 10,000 in the last 4-5 weeks with a 20% response rate. I am overwhelmed needless to say. Meanwhile, however, I figured out my own system on how to be fair and get to almost everyone. The response from everyone has been so amazing and filled with grace and gifts I never knew could come from a strangers. Our words are the most powerful force and can make or break someone...

Just yesterday one of the gentlemen sent me the following poem and I think it speaks to what we all want:

"Oh the comfort
The inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with another person.
Having neither to weigh thoughts
Nor measure words
But pouring them all right out
Just as they are
Chaff and grain together -
Certain that a faithful hand
Will take and sift them
Keep what is worth keeping
And with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away."

Written by Dinah Craix over a century ago.

So when you feel down and you feel like the people closest to you are not doing their job, perhaps you may decide to first become that which you want them to become, only then will they see in you how to be themselves…And then perhaps these people can fall away from you because your journeys have come to an end or they will want to change, as do you. It's not our job to change others, it's our job to inspire others by the mere existence of who we are. Not because we try so hard, but because "we just are."

Go claim your closeness with others! It’s an amazing gift!

New Photos

2008-06-27T09:45:00.001-07:00

My friend took some new photos of me in an effort to create a smashing Internet Dating profile. What a fun journey this has been!

I'm having such a blast with this, I think I need to become an Internet Dating Coach!

What River Are You?

2008-06-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

These last few weeks in my “absence” here on my blog have been a tremendous learning experience and I will do my very best to pass on my lessons in the hope and with the intention that you too may learn and grow. It has been a fantastic time to say the least!

Over the past few weeks I have been getting various visions of rivers, creeks, streams, brooks and even waterfalls. At first all I understood and remembered were the scriptures that talk about rivers. My very name, Chaszey, represents the flow of a river, forever finding the path that is her. King Solomon tells us that “All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.” And John tells us that “streams of living water will flow from within” us. And David tells us that “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” The City he’s talking about is of course your innermost being, the little speck of light that you truly are. It is your God-Self.

We all know, or at least I hope that you know, that God (or whatever you call the Light Source) is everything, lives in all and is everywhere. It is that light source that is with you always, that shines a light on your path, even if you run from it, hide it or try to squash it.

As I was getting these various visions of these massive rivers that flow with majesty and might and without making a seeming sound, yet the power of these rivers is unshakeable, deep and almost frightening. Most of these types of rivers are wide, deep and they are fairly straight with large and wide bends, compared to the little creeks and streams.

I suddenly realized that this is how true love is supposed to be!

Little creeks and streams bubble and make their path to eventually merge with one of those big, quiet, calm and yet powerful rivers, which eventually merges with the big sea again (God). Creeks and streams are shallow, as can relationships be, although they make a lot of noise, as can superficial relationships.

I realized that the rocks in a river bed that create the sounds and the bubbles and the foam on top of the sparkling water rushing in between their obstacles are just like us trying to squeeze people into our lives that perhaps have no business being there in the first place.

Imagine yourself standing at the bend of a river with a whistle and a red flag trying to command the river to take a left turn instead of a right turn. It doesn’t quite happen this way. Yet we continue to try to make people into something they are not. We want to direct the path of their river down our path to merge with our big and calm river, but we forget that we have left our river in order to redirect theirs.

All streams will eventually lead into a big and calm river and all rivers will run towards the big sea. And eventually the cycle and rhythm starts over again.

So what is my lesson?

While I may feel like a single and individual water drop and my ego wants to remain separate and unique, it is only when I am willingly let myself merge with the big sea (God) that I have the whole power of the big sea on my side helping me to achieve what I have come to accomplish. It is not for me to remain a separate water drop, weak and alone and facing the drying out by the scorching sun. It is for me to help others guide to find their own river within and to let them take their own path down that stream and not to redirect their path the way I think it should be.

Everyone is a brook, a stream, a river, perhaps you’re even as deep and quiet and powerful as the Amazon river – no matter where you are on your journey, know that your path is guiding you only in one direction: in the direction to be merged with the big sea (the light source within you).

Congratulations on living and tapping that source of unlimited amount of power within you!

Anger and its Effect on our Bodies

2008-06-23T16:52:00.001-07:00

Many decades ago Professor Elmer Gates performed a study in which he analyzed the perspiration of several men in various mental moods. The perspiration of those whose moods were angry turned yellow and when put on the tongue of a dog even showed evidence of poisoning.

We all get angry from time to time and while it would be most ideal to always flow with the river of gratitude, we seem to fall off the boat once in a while and pinch off that flow of peace.

Think about this, however, anger causes poison in our own bodies! Not only does this poison have the power to change the color of our perspiration but it actually has the power to poison another being! If it can do so, then only imagine what this poison does within the members of our own body.

Is it any wonder then that we suffer from anger illnesses such as cancer of many kinds?

A big part of my program and e-Book is all about spreading peace throughout our own body. There are many ways we can do this:

Be kind to your body in the way you feed it, exercise it, tend to it, clean it, whom you share it with and most importantly: in the way you talk to it.
Do not talk about negative and sad stories as we see them in the world; even if this means for you not to watch TV or read the newspaper. Remember that the news is always a day late only to remind you that there is nothing you can do about it anyway. What you can do on a daily basis, however, is for you to be at peace and thus you spread peace and happiness from you out to your horizon, and before you know it, the world looks like an amazing place to live (it starts with you).
Surround yourself with circumstances and people and situations that are worthy of you and deserving of you. You might say: “I don’t have any control over the people around me.” And to that I say: “Yes, you do.”

Lao Russell says: “Peace and love to not come to you from your horizon, they spread from within you out to your horizon and beyond into infinity.”

Start with you – it’s all you can control anyway!

Choosing to Let Go or to Hold On

2008-06-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

When is it appropriate to “let go” someone vs. to “hold on” to someone?

I have knowledge about something about a friend of mine, that defies everything I believe in and stand for. Yet this friend is so close to me, I dare to say he could be my twin. Yet this new knowledge is so disappointing to me and overall so degrading, that I have been struggling all week not knowing what to do about this situation.

Ever had a situation where you knew the right thing to do but you didn’t do the right thing out of loyalty to that person, or perhaps out of the addiction you have to that person?

You may have spent your childhood with that person or a big part of your adult life, and you can’t imagine them not being there anymore. But the pain you feel because of the choices they make, is almost unbearable.

So when do you cut the line, draw the line, shift the line or do whatever you have to with “this line” and send them on their way so you don’t have to compromise your Self anymore?

I have let a best friend of 12 years go because what I found out about her was so contradictory to my own beliefs and my own values, that she became the “test” for me to see if I would sell out or not. I let her go and today, more than 2 years ago, I have no regrets about it. In fact, after our parting other people of much higher quality of character started to enter my life and life took a turn for the better for me.

So this week I tried to remember the blessings that came out of me sticking up for what is right and I tried to have this talk with this friend last week and it didn't go over too well. I’m in a similar boat and I have to make the same decision once again. And it’s harder this time, even though it “shouldn’t” be. I struggle to “cut loose” and “let go” but I don’t want to “hold on” to the friendship either – because I overall realize that we have already lost whatever we have to hold on to for dear life. I have a saying and belief that whatever is mine cannot be taken away from me. So if it’s mine and I let it go, it will come back to me tenfold. If it doesn’t come back it was never mine to begin with.

Perhaps you can see and feel that I’m just writing for myself today, trying to come up with the courage and guidance for myself to set this person on their own journey. It will crumble his world, as he states. What makes it harder is that my previous friend had a group of support to help her through the break up of our friendship. This person doesn’t…

Why is it so hard to break other people’s hearts just so we can stay in integrity with our own karma and life journey???

Wish me blessings and healing for my friend so he too can make changes in his life and move on and grow.

With All Thy Faults I Love Thee Still

2008-06-11T04:18:00.000-07:00

And my final words from Christian Larson:

“Thus sings the poet, and we call him sentimental; that is, at first thought we do. But upon second thought we change our minds. We then find that faults and defects are always in the minority, and that the larger part of human nature is so wonderful and so beautiful that it needs must inspire admiration and love in everybody. With all their defects there is nothing more interesting than human beings; and the reason is that for every shortcoming in man there are thousand admirable qualities. The poet, being inspired by the sublime vision of truth, can see this; therefore, what can he do but love? Whenever his eyes are lifted and whenever his thoughts take wings, his soul declares with great eloquence than every before, “What a piece of work is man!” Thus every moment renews his admiration, and every thought rekindles the fire of his love.”

Follow Your Vision

2008-06-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

Christian Larson encourages us to “Follow the vision of the soul. Be true to your ideals no matter what may happen now. Then things will take a turn and the very things you wanted to happen will happen.

“The ideal has a positive drawing power towards the higher, the greater and the superior. Whoever gives his attention constantly to the ideal, therefore, will steadily rise in the scale.

“Take things as they are today and proceed at once to make them better.

“Expect every change to lead you to something better and it will. As your faith is so shall it be.

“To be human is not to be weak. To be human is to be all that there is in man, and the greatness that is contained in the whole of man is marvelous indeed.”

Sometimes I find myself wanting to be weak and lowly and sit and dwell, feeling almost sorry for myself. Sulking in the “bad” and letting my energy sit low and dormant. It’s during those times that people who have tended to their self-discipline pick themselves up and say “no more, I’ve had enough of this” – and because of that tactic in spite of them wanting to stay “low” that they succeed. So if you feel weak and like you’re wanting to give up, remember that life comes and goes in cycles with a precise rhythm, don’t give up, keep on going and enjoy every moment of it: good and the seeming not so good.

Being a Master Mind

2008-06-09T05:16:00.000-07:00

Christian Larson would say that “The first mark of a master mind is that he is able to promote his own perpetual improvement. The second is that he is able to be strong, joyous and serene under every circumstance.

“The imagining faculty is the creative faculty of the mind, the faculty that creates plans, methods and ideas. Our imagination therefore must always be clear, lofty, wholesome, and constructive if we would create superior ideas and build for greater things.

“Before you can have greater success you must become a greater man. Before you can become a greater man you must reach out toward the new and the greater along all lines; and this is possible only through the constructive use of imagination. You get your best ideas when your mind acts in the upper story. And in all fields of action it is the best ideas that win.”

What is a Master Mind? Some would say Edison, Einstein and people alike are master minds. But what about you? Do you believe that you have been given all that you need to be the Master Mind of your own life? Who holds all of the answers to your questions? Why do we read books about other people and why do we try to imitate those that we don’t even know, rather than choosing to get to know ourselves, while tending to the fertile ground of our own master mind, where all the fruit of our lives come from?

I’d like to encourage you (including myself) to spend more time with you and less time trying to find out about others. Because as you get to know the YOU inside, you will automatically get to know others and suddenly the secret essence of what life is all about lies bare within your own eyes for you to adore and cherish and tend to. You are the only master piece there is! Find out who you are, study yourself and constantly question your own motives and ambitions. Work with your Higher Self as an inseparable team and watch the majestic glory open up right in front of you.

Wanting to Be Honest – Honestly Negative

2008-06-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel so down that you just want to dump on a friend, hoping that it’ll get better? Yet you realize that while you may be feeling better after you “vomited” your sorrows all over her as if she was a garbage can, that the problem actually multiplied rather than disappeared?

I have noticed over and over again in my life that when things go wrong, the first thing I want to do is to call a friend and tell them about it, dump, vent and get advice from my friend. Yet when I learned to go inward and present the challenge to my Higher Self, asking my Higher Self to take over and to transmute the challenge into a blessing, then I come out of it renewed with strength and with the exact answer to the solution. And I spared a friend unnecessary heartache to fix my problem that was never hers to fix in the first place.

Christian Larson would say it this way: “Never think or speak of that which you do not wish to happen. The whine, the sting, and the sigh – these three must never appear in a single thought or a single word.

“You can win ten times as many friends by talking happiness as you can by talking trouble. And the more real friends you have the less trouble you will have.

“Speak well of everything good you find and mean it. When you find what you do not like keep quiet. The less you think or speak of what you do not like the more you have of what you do like.

“Magnify the good; emphasize that which has worth; and talk only of those things that should live and grow.

“When you have something good to say, say it. When you have something ill to say, say something else.”

Positive Thinking

2008-06-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

So sorry for “staying away” for a while. I have been busy with another “project” that is taking more time than I anticipated.

I have been working with the I-Ching for a few years now and often go through phases where I want to consult my higher guidance through the I-Ching in addition to meditation. This week I asked an interesting question part of the answer came back as follows:

“Don’t build cemeteries in your mind. You do that by indulging in grief, sorrow, and grudges. If you dig up an old grievance or hurt by rehearsing it in your mind, you are opening a grave inside yourself. Thinking about the past is a kind of mental and emotional death. Don’t touch any negative thought. Liquidate the past, obliterate negative thoughts, and replace them with the right thoughts. Let Divine love rule in your mind. Your good is this moment. Your future is your present thoughts made manifest.”

I loved the wording of what we know as Positive Thinking.

I appreciated the wake-up call because we all have a tendency from time to time to slip back into the negative self-talk. I hope this hits home for you as much as it does for me.

You Are Magnificant!

2008-05-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

Nelson Mandela gave a speech in 1994, which was written by Marianne Williamson. The first time I heard it, it was as if finally someone understood my fears and had the courage to put them on paper. It was then that I realized that it was not failure that scares most people, because most people are so familiar with the monster "failure," but that it was success that was most frightening to us, because it was the unknown and the insecure and the "what if."

To this day I have to read this portion over and over again, to keep reminding myself that I have a light to shine for all to see, so their paths can be illumined. May these words below soothe you and spur you on let go of all the non-beneficial and let shine from within you all the good that you are - because you are simply magnificant!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

A Most Unique and Wonderful Experience!

2008-05-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

For the last two days I have been re-writing this post over and over in my head, not knowing if and how I can possibly put such an amazing, unique and wonderful experience into words. And I have come to the conclusion that there are simply not enough words in the English language to describe unconditional love the way I have experienced it just this week, with a complete stranger that is!

So brace yourself because this may sound strange, weird, outrageous or even unreal – and believe me, it was profound, magical and earth-shaking (I’m sure somewhere).

Have you ever met a complete stranger and you just knew that you had met this person before but you also knew that it wasn’t in this life time? The person feels so much like “home” to you that you can’t explain the feeling that overcomes you because you’ve never experienced it and you also look at reality and it’s not (this) reality at all. You’re like two galaxies apart from this person. And yet there is this oneness that only the two of you experience and feel? It’s as if you’re ONE and the same, like twin brother and sister.

I have many similar of these experiences and I no longer worry about telling the person or wanting the person to know, I just let it be and I’m at peace with that knowing. But this has been by far one of the most profound experiences for me. What made this encounter different was that we were both able to recognize it, admit it, talk about it and cry through it together.

What’s so profound about this is the different worlds that we live in on this plane, and there was no judgment. It would not be a good match for this person and I to be a couple, the mechanics are off, the life goals don’t match, our age is too far apart, we live too far apart, etc. etc. What does match, however, is our history together over lifetimes. And only he and I know the depth of it because we both recognized the depth of those experiences and the connection allows us to truly feel unconditional love for each other. It’s as if no time had ever passed through any of our life times...

This man has brought me more blessings and more healing and more gifts in the few hours we talked than I had experienced before. In 15 years of being married I hadn’t felt as emotionally secure than talking to this man on the phone for 1 hour. Anyone who hasn't experienced this would think there’s something wrong with this picture. And yet it is a testimony that unconditional love knows no time and no boundaries. And unconditional love can truly not be explained or put in words. It just is in its silent "I am" vibration.

My girlfriend was with me when we met him and I tried to explain to her the depth of our connection and the sweetness of his soul; she didn’t quite understand or comprehend it. So I don’t expect anyone else to get it either. The only person who “got it” is him. And I’m okay with that. And yet I hope to encourage you to be receptive and open to those you meet. You never know if the person at the cash register or gas station next to you was a dear friend, brother or sister, or a spouse to you in a previous life time.

This is for you my blessed friend:

“Jake, as we have both agreed to meet up at this time to restore each others’ faith, I want to thank you with every molecule of my essence for sticking to your side of the agreement. I hope I have been able to do the same for you. Thank you for your openness, for crying with me, for being one with me on a soul level, for understanding me, for lifting me up, for appreciating me, for respecting me and for loving me so unconditionally. You have given me more gifts than you know and I still cry tears of love for you. As our paths crossed for merely an hour or two, you know we have walked life times together and I continue to support you energetically on your journeys. I wish you growth and love and passion for what you’ve come here to do. And may you soon meet the love of your life to build a family with. I'll see you on the other side some day... I love you. Chaszey"

Do Your Eyes Sparkle?

2008-05-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hhhhm, one of my all time favorite words is "Transmutation" (or Transformation). I love change, although it can be scary. Change has always blessed me with the unknown and the unknown has always had suprise blessings in store for me. So it is only natural that I want to share this with you...

Christian Larson: “When the creative energies are daily transmuted, and turned into muscle, brain and mind, a virtuous life can be lived without inconvenience. Besides, the body will be healthier, the personality stronger and the mind more brilliant. Hold yourself constantly in a positive, masterful attitude, and fill that attitude with kindness. The result will be that remarkable something that people call personal magnetism. Create energy when retained in the system will give vigor to the body, sparkle to the eye, and genius to the brain. There is enough power in any man to enable him to realize all his desires and reach the highest good he has in view. It is only necessary that all of this power be constructively applied.”

Having Faith

2008-05-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

I love these words of wisdom!

Christian Larson: “Be good and kind to everybody and the world will be kind to you. There may be accasional exceptions to this rule, but when they come pass them by and they will not come again. Ideals need the best of care. Weeds can grow without attention, but not so with the roses. Not all minds are pure that think they are. Many of them are simply dwarfed. It does not pay to lose faith in anybody. It is better to have faith in everybody and be deceived occasionally than to mistrust everybody and be deceived almost constantly. When you meet a person who does not look well, call their attention to the sunny side of things, and aim to say something that will give them new interest and new life. You will thereby nip in the bud many a threatening evil, and carry healing with you wherever you go.”

Removing the Sting, the Whine and the Sigh

2008-05-23T06:40:00.000-07:00

I am not much for whining, sighing or suffering in general, but as of lately I have to admit that my feelings are getting hurt easier than when I was younger. My threshold for pain, both physical and emotional, is declining as I get older, whereas with most people they can endure more pain. Not for me! I haven't quite figured out why this is. But I will continue to search my soul. In the meantime I hope Christian Larson's words are as healing to you as they are to me:

“Remove the sting; remove the whine; remove the sigh. They are your enemies. They are never conducive to happiness; and we all live to gain happiness, to give happiness. From every word remove the sting. Speak kindly. To speak kindly and gently to everybody is the mark of a great soul. And it is your privilege to be a great soul. From the tone of your voice remove the whine. Speak with joy. Never complain. The more you complain, the smaller you become, and the fewer will be your friends and opportunities. Speak tenderly, speak sweetly, speak with love. From all the outpourings of your heart, remove the sigh. Be happy and contented always. Let your spirit sing, let your heart dance, let your soul declare the glory of existence, for truly life I beautiful. Every sigh is a burden, a self-inflicted burden. Every whine is a maker of trouble, a forerunner of failure. Every sting is a destroyer of happiness, a dispenser of bitterness. To live in the world of sighs is to be blind to everything that is rich and beautiful. The more we sigh, the less we live, for every sigh leads to weakness, defeat, and death. Remove the sting, remove the whine, remove the sigh. They are not your friends. There is better company waiting for you.” (yes, that's what I'm talking about!)

Special Update on Dating

2008-05-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

Ah, I so enjoyed myself to have a first date in so many years. I was watching my thoughts throughout the day to see if I was sabotaging myself by thinking negative thoughts, and I have to admit, I definitely caught myself thinking thoughts like: "I wonder if he'll show up." "He'll probably be late." "He won't like me for whatever reason."

Just stupid thoughts that are so very counter productive. Each time I thought a negative thought, I nipped it in the bud and immediately confirmed: "I'm a child of God and all is well."

So yes, he was a little late after all, but he called beforehand. I so appreciated that! Mind you, he lives an hour away and came over during rush hour traffic.

The strangest thing happened during our dinner. The gentleman next to us was eaves-dropping on our conversation and eventually interrupted our discussion by giving his 2 cents of input. Then when my date went to the restroom, the gentleman who interrupted us previously, handed me a note telling me that he went to the cash register to write this note and I should read it when I get home. Weird!? Yes, to say the least. And definitely gutsy.

Our date lastet 3 hours and we had great conversation. One of the main reasons I was attracted to him is because he's been single for the last 3 years after coming out of a relationship, which changed his life quite a bit. There is nothing more attractive to me than a guy who knows what he wants and understands that he cannot grow himself with someone else dangling on him, a guy who chooses time alone to figure out who he is rather than hopping from relationship to the next. There is nothing more of a turn off to me than a guy who constantly needs to be with a woman, a girl friend, a friend with benefits, or his buddies, a guy that can't be alone for fear he would drown in silence. In short, a guy who sells out.

He restored my faith on many levels because he is such a nice, nice guy with a side to him that is so endearing and heart warming. And still, there is no match for me for many reasons and on many levels. And that's okay.

As far as the note is concerned, it read: "I'm sorry to meet you this way. You seem like a good woman who is warm and kind hearted. Please call me. Name and phone number." And no, I won't call because he was disrespectful to me and my date...

Today I have to muster up the courage and the right words to pass on to my date that there won't be a second date. It's because of this that I have refused to date in the past - and I just have to get this lesson. Please say a prayer for him that he'll be okay.

Have a great and awesome day today!

How To Live a Great Life

2008-05-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel tired and exhausted; not physically, but of life in general?

I have always struggled in the past with the fact that I am living on this plane at this time. I don't feel at home here, never have and I continue to try to make this planet my home. With it comes growing as a human being, or as a Being in general.

Christian Larson: “He who would become great must live a great life. Happiness adds life, power, and worth to all your talents and powers. It is most important therefore, that every moment should be full of joy. However much you may do, always remember you have the ability to do more. No one has yet applied all the ability in their possession. But all of us should learn to apply a greater measure every year. While you are waiting for an opportunity to improve your time, improve yourself. The man or woman who never weakens when things are against them, will grow stronger and stronger until they will have the power to cause all things to be for them.”

A Side Note on Manifesting

2008-05-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

Last week I told my good friend that I really wanted to take dance lessons (ballroom and latin dances) and that I just had to put my intentions out there (since I don't have a partner) that it would work out okay. I also told her that I would like to start dating (golly, I haven't had a date in 20 years and it's time).

And I'm so exited to announce that one of my students sent me a flyer from Cheryl Burke (Dancing with the Stars) who lives only about 10-15 minutes from me, who is holding ballroom and latin dance lessons! No partner needed!

AND - I have my first date tonight in decades, literally! I feel very much like a teenager about this, have no clue what to wear, what to say (and not say), what to ask (and not to ask), how to behave (and not behave) - dang, can anyone send me that "rule book"? I hope he's forgiving...Wish me luck!

So for all those out there who doubt that setting your intentions won't manifest into outer reality, think again! You are truly your own Michael Angelo - sculpt away the most beautiful life that you think up...and watch it become real right in front of your eyes...

Personal Growth

2008-05-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

Since most of you are on a journey to self-discovery, your personal growth is of utmost importance to you. Please allow me to share more Christian Larson nuggest of wisdom:

“Say to yourself a hundred times every day, and mean it with all your heart: ‘I will become more than I am. I will achieve more and more every day because I know that I can. I will recognize only that which is good in myself, only that which is good in others; only that in all things and places that I know should live and grow. When adversity threatens I will be more determined than every in my life to prove that I can turn all things to good account. And when those whom I have trusted seem to fail me, I will have a thousand times more faith in the honor and nobleness of man. I will think only of that which has virtue and worth. I will wish only for that which can give freedom and truth. I will expect only that which I can add to the welfare of the race. I will live to live more. I will speak to give encouragement, inspiration and joy. I will work to be of service to an every increasing number. And in every thought, word and action my ruling desire shall be, to enrich, ennoble and beatify existence for all who come my way.’”

Are you a Pessimist or an Optimist?

2008-05-20T06:30:00.000-07:00

This is a big one for me. I always want myself to be an optimist, but just this weekend my friend said to me: "you worry about the weirdest things before they even happen." It hit me like a brick wall because she was right!

So here is your own test based on Christian Larson's wisdom:

“The optimist lives under a clear sky; the pessimist lives in a fog.

"The pessimist hesitates,, and loses both time and opportunity; the optimist makes the best use of everything now, and builds themselves up, steadily and surely, until all adversity is overcome and the object in view realized.

"The pessimist curbs their energies and concentrates their whole attention upon failure; the optimist gives all their thought and power to the attainment of success, and arouses their faculties and forces to the highest point of efficiency.

"The pessimist waits for better times, and expects to keep on waiting; the optimist goes to work with the best that is at hand now, and proceeds to create better times.

"The pessimist pours cold water on the fires of their own ability; the optimist adds fuel to those fires.

"The pessimist links their mind to everything that is losing ground; the optimist lives, thinks and works with everything that is determined to press on.

"The pessimist places a damper on everything; the optimist gives life, fire and go to everything. The optimist is a building force; the pessimist is always an obstacle in the way of progress.

"The pessimist lives in a dark, soggy unproductive world, the optimist lives in that mental sunshine that makes all things grow.”

Good Bye, my Almost Friend…

2008-05-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I wrote that I was going through a difficult time letting some people go. I go through this every so often when I realize that I am spending energy where energy and effort are not appreciated and welcomed to do what I had intended it to do. And before I know it I’m involved in giving, giving and more giving, until I feel drained and sad – because then comes the time when I realize that people are going in circles like rats on their wheels – and I find myself having joined them…

Then I met a super nice person who seemed to defy those rules and the neediness simply wasn’t present. In fact he was refreshing, independent and just fun to be around – happy. And yet he was vulnerable and open in a relatable kind of way, and a fun friendship started off in a great way. Then I discovered that it was wrong, not mutually beneficial and I got hurt. I put him on the list of people I needed to “let go.” And although we’re still friendly there is a big gap between us that I dislike intensely. And every time I run into him, I just want to cry and break down (and I do in the silence of the bathroom stall or the corner of a lonely room), because I miss the innocence of our friendship, or at least what was the beginning of it.

So here to my “almost friend”: “I’m so sorry for whatever it is I have done to you to cause this gap between us and to make you pull away. Please forgive me. I wish I knew what made you pull back so I could change and fix it. But you don’t seem as broken as I feel; my heart is hurting and the crying cannot go on; and so I let you go in peace and I honor your wish to take the space before you move to another State in a few weeks' time. May your life journey be accompanied with unconditional love and happiness, with health and all the good things life has to offer. You deserve it so much.”

And as I am constantly on my journey to improve and to grow and learn and become the woman I truly want to be, it never fails for me to get nuggets of wisdom “from above” - right now in the words from Christian Larson:

“The fact that you have failed to get the lesser proves conclusively that you deserve the greater. So therefore, dry those tears and go in search of the worthier prize. Count nothing lost even the day that sees “no worthy action done” may be a day of preparation and accumulation that will add greatly to the achievements of tomorrow. Many a day was made famous because nothing was done the day before. Know what you want and continue to want it. You will get it if you combine desire with faith. The power of desire when combined with faith becomes invincible. Some of the principal reasons why so many fail to get what they want is because they do not definitely know what they want or because they change their wants almost every day.”

When Failure Comes...

2008-05-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if it will be ever revealed to me how many times have I thrown in the towel right before success would have been evident. How often have I given up just when it became hardest? How many times was I right at the brink of success? I have said this before, I knew that "where there is a will there is a way," what I didn't know is how long I had to show that I had the will, before I was shown the way.

Christian Larson says the following:

"When failure comes, be more determined than ever to succeed. The more feeling there is in your thought the greater its power. You steadily and surely become in the real what you constantly and clearly think that you are in the ideal. The more you believe in yourself the more of your latent powers and possibilities you place in action. And the more you believe in your purpose the more of your power you apply in promoting that purpose. To him who thinks he can, everything is an opportunity. Depend only upon yourself but work in harmony with all things. This you call froth the best that is in yourself and secure the best that external sources have to give."

I want to encourage you, dear reader, to never give up believing in yourself. You are all you have, had and ever will have. It's in your mind - no one can touch that or control that (at least not in this day and age). So let your internal world be one of magnificance! Because you are so unique and so full of wonders inside...

Change!

2008-05-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

And here is Christian Larson's take on change. I really can't add anything to it. His words are so soothing to me and I hope they are just as pleasant to your soul:

"The greatest remedy in the world is change; and change implies the passing from the old to the new. It is also the only path that leads from the lesser to the greater, from the dream to the reality, from the wish to the heart’s desire fulfilled.

"It is change that brings us everything we want. It is the opposite of change that holds us back from that which we want.

"But change is not always external. Real change, or rather the cause of all change, is always internal. It is the change in the within that first produces the change in the without. To go from place to place is not a change unless it produces a change of mind a renewal of mind. It is the change of mind that is the change desired. It is the renewal of mind that produces better health, more happiness, great power, the increase of life, and the consequent increase of all that is good in life. And the constant renewal of mind – the daily change of mind – is possible regardless of times, circumstances or places. He who can change his mind every day and think the new about everything every day, will always be well; he will always have happiness; he will always be free; his life will always be interesting; he will constantly move forward into the larger, the richer and the better; and whatever is needed for his welfare today, of that he shall surely have abundance."

Right Thinking

2008-05-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing as right and wrong thinking?

According to Christian Larson there is:

"Life is growth and the object of right thinking is to promote that growth. Give less time trying to change the opinions of others, and more time trying to improve your own life. Life becomes the way it is lived; and man may live the way he wants to live when he learns to think what he wants to think. Create your own thought and you become what you want to become because your thought creates you. We all know that man is as he thinks. Then we must think only such thoughts as tend to make us what we wish to be. The secret of right thinking is found in always keeping the mind’s eye stayed upon the greater and the better in all things."

I realize that we are "creatures of habit." We love to keep things the same. Most people do not like change. I have taken inventory of my life and continue to do so, and I recognize that the times I grow the most are the times during change. Whether this is to change the route I use to go grocery shopping, a change in dentist or a change in living situations. Whether it's a change in technology or the way my handwriting looks - change is good, change is great - change brings growth.

I met with my ex-husband yesterday and we talked for several hours over a good cup of coffee. Now that we're both in our 40s it was easy to look back and use "hindsight" as our best friend to get an overview of how each of us has changed and grown. It was interesting to see that although time didn't seem to exist, we have grown worlds apart during these last 20 years. We met when we were very young, got married and had a daughter. He's approach the half-century mark very soon, and I'm in my 40s. We talked about growing up and the things we used to love to do as teenagers and how we've changed. And it was interesting to see that he still doesn't like change, he wants things "the same" because it offers him comfort. I want change more than anything because I know that with change comes growth.

And then I got it: change to him means insecurity and loss. Change to me means growth and gain.

It's okay to be different - it's what makes this world an exiting place to live in.

Dreaming Always

2008-05-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

Christian Larson says: "Dream constantly of the ideal; work ceaselessly to perfect that real. Believe in yourself; believe in everybody; believe in all that has existence. Give the body added strength; give the mind added brilliancy; give the soul added inspiration. Do your best under every circumstance, and believe that every circumstance will give its best to you. Live for the realization of more life and for the more efficient use of everything that proceeds from life. Desire eternally what you want; and act always as if every expectation were coming true."

One of the hardest things for me is to hold a thought for a prolonged period of time. I heard that the average person can hold a thought for 2 seconds max. I also heard that in order for a thought to sink to our subconscious, it will have to be concentrated on for at least 17 seconds. We have much to learn. I have much to learn.

I have taken it upon myself to "watch myself and my thoughts" before I go to sleep and I'm amazed at how chaotic these thoughts are. While most of them are positive, they are incomplete and one thought has nothing to do with the next thought, some are chopped half way through, then there is a big gap right before several thoughts rush through again. Quite fascinating and also disturbing at the same time.

I am realizing that my ego has one job: to keep me alive and to keep me busy with DOING.

If I can manage to quiet my thoughts and to manage my thoughts by holding on to a deliberate thought with purpose, then my ego quiets itself and I am at peace.

I am learning that either my ego manages me or I can learn to manage my ego. I prefer to be in charge, not only of my body, but especially of my thoughts.

I hope these words from Christian Larson help you as well!

The Future Takes Place Now

2008-05-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

There are so many movies and documentaries and books out there that stress the value of living in the "NOW." Yet we continue to borrow from the past or escape to the future, in a frenzy trying to avoid the present. Yet all wisdom, all gems, all love, all gifts are in the NOW, right here as you read these words. As your brain is working to formulate and translate these words into every fiber of your being. Do you feel it? Or does your Self automatically slip into the past remembering an scenario, or perhaps you are already planning for the future.

Here are Christian Larson's recommendations on using affirmations and ideals in the present, in order to shape and form your future:

"When you have made up your mind what you want to do, say to yourself a thousand times a day that you will do it. The best way will soon open. You will have the opportunity you desire. If you would be greater in the future than you are now, be all that you can be now. He who is his best develops the power to be better. He who lives his ideals is creating a life that actually is ideal. There is nothing in your life that you cannot modify, change or improve when you learn to regulate your thought. Our destiny is not mapped out for us by some exterior power; we map it out for ourselves. What we think and do in the present termines what shall happen to us in the future."

Believe in your Self

2008-05-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I ran into someone whom I hadn't seen in over 5 years. The person graciously shared with me a flattering thought they had about me many years ago - unbeknownst to me. It made me blush and yet the invisible pat on the back was surely an ego boost. Ever wonder why it is that others can see our qualities better than we give ourselves credit for?

I often walk through life feeling so much "less than" others, less important, less educated, less wealthy, like they have it all together when I am struggling still "at this age" when I "should be" so much farther along. And so on. Yet teaching this new class of wonderful women I am learning that everyone has the same insecurities and vulnerabilities.

Yet by feeling insecure we are not helping anyone, especially not ourselves...or those that we want to help so much.

Perhaps these words from Christian Larson will boost your self-esteem like they have mine:

"When you think of yourself do not think of that part of yourself that appears on the surface. That part is the smaller part and the lesser should not be pictured in mind. Think of your larger self, the immense subconscious self that is limitless both in power and in possibility. Believe in yourself but not simply in a part of yourself. Give constant recognition to all that is in you, and, in that all have full faith and confidence. Give the bigger being on he inside full right of way. Believe thoroughly in your greater interior self. Know that you have something within you that is great than any obstacle, circumstance or difficulty that you can possibly meet. Then in the full faith in this greater something, proceed with your work."

Moving Forward – Never Giving Up

2008-05-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like the world is too heavy for you to carry? There is too much work, not enough hours in the day, and before you know it your motivation and energy to even begin the work has left you - leaving you wondering why you suddenly procrastinate all that needs to get done...

I've been feeling like this lately - simply wanting to stay out of the office because the papers are piling up, work needs to be done, but because of the type of work (taxes, filing, reorganizing) I make excuses to postpone it to tomorrow, then tomorrow, then tomorrow.

And if you know a little bit of Feng Shui, then you know that clutter has a powerful effect on keeping us stagnant and stuck.

Or perhaps you need to clear your life in general (from negativity, or people who are negative), and you postpone and you delay and you procrastinate. And before long where there was one tiny challenge, there now is a big elephant of a problem.

I hope these words help.

More wisdom from Christian Larson:

"Man lives to move forward, to move forward is to live more.

"To live more is to be more and do mpre; and it is being and doing that constitutes the path of happiness.

"The more you are the more you do, the richer your life, the great your joy. But being and doing must always live together as one.

"To try to be much and not try to do much is to find life a barren waste. To try to do much and not try to be much is to find life a burden too heavy and wearisome to bear.

"The being of much gives the necessary inspiration and the necessary power to the doing of much.

"The doing of much gives the necessary expression to the being of much. And it is in the bringing forth of being through the act of doing that produces happiness that is happiness.

"Being much gives capacity for doing much. Doing much gives expression to the richest and the best that is within us. And the more we increase the richness of that which is within us, the more we increase our happiness, provided we increase, in the same proportion, the expression of that greater richness.

"The first essential is provided for by the being of much; the second, by the doing of much; and the secret of both may be found by him who lives to move forward."

Be Strong

2008-05-07T07:38:00.001-07:00

As I am going through a heartache and some personal mourning, Christian Larson's words are soothing balm to my heart and soul. May you find something to hold on to in his words as well, even if it's only the strand that keeps you from drowning in your sorrow today.

"Man is ever in search of strength. It is the strong man that wins. It is the man with power that scales the heights. To be strong is to be great; and it is the privilege of greatness to satisfy every desire, every aspiration, every need. But strength is not for the few alone; it is for all, and the way to strength is simple. Proceed this very moment to the mountain tops of the strength you now possess, and whatever may happen do not come down. Do not weaken under adversity. Resolve to remain as strong, as determined and as highly enthused during the darkest night of adversity as you are during the sunniest day of prosperity. Do not feel disappointed when things seem disappointing. Keep the eye single upon the same brilliant future regardless of circumstances, conditions or events. Do not lose heart when things go wrong. Continue undisturbed in your original resolve to make all things go right. To be overcome by adversity and threatening failure is to lose strength; to always remain in the same lofty, determined mood is to constantly grow in strength. The man who never weakens when things are against him will grow stronger and stronger until all things will delight to be for him. He will finally have all the strength he may desire or need. Be always strong and you will always be stronger."

Promise Yourself

2008-05-05T07:58:00.001-07:00

Life has been fragile since my return from yet another visit with death. I've had more lives than a cat and I once again find myself on a journey fighting to want to be here in this suit, making a difference in the world. And as I search for meaning and my new path, I came across an e-book I downloaded several years ago, by Christian Larson. Although written around the 1900s, his words are exactly what I need to hear. I will be posting snippets of his work that resonate with me, in the hopes that you too can find encouragement, meaning and strength of character from within.

Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Promise Yourself These Things!

Gratitude for “What a Journey”

2008-05-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

My last official post from April 20th was written with a big stomach ache. Little did I know that I was posting it with a ruptured appendix. What’s interesting is that the day before, on Sunday, I made my “usual list” of people currently in my life, their purpose and my purpose in theirs. I was sad to see that so many paths with the people on my “list” had come to an end. I had become the “unpaid” therapist and the shoulder so many lean on, yet no one really had the strength to stand on their own without reverting back to chaos. It saddened me to see what I perhaps handed out was sympathy rather than self-empowerment. I asked the Universal forces to help me release them and send them on their way with my blessings. This was Sunday.

Monday morning I started to develop a stomach ache and I remember sitting and meditating while realizing that the “digestion of letting go” of these people was painful. By Monday evening I was so ill that I started to vomit uncontrollably. "I definitely had chewed off too much by letting go so many people at once," is what I thought to myself, thus my vomiting. I posted “Flow” because it’s what I told myself all day long: “Flow with this, let them go in peace, flow with it. This is the part you burst into fragments and into many pieces, flow with it.”

By Wednesday in the middle of the night I had collapsed after going to the bathroom and my teenager woke up and called 911. By the time I got into surgery my appendix had been ruptured for approximately 48 hours, the doctor said. Thursday I started to develop pneumonia and everyone was concerned that I would not make it.

Everyone but me.

I was busy in my mind sorting through the lessons and asking countless questions: Why this? Why now?

Five days and five burst IV infections later I was released last Monday. I immediately came home and got into Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life,” where I found exactly what I suspected:

“Appendicitis: Fear of flow of life.”

Yes! I was definitely scared to take the flow of life the way I had mapped it out. Losing people once again!? I feel like every month, every quarter, I make new friends and I let others go. I’m not even half way through my life journey and I feel like I constantly sift and sift…

Then I remembered what my Tibeten Master taught me. The belly button remains our only physical and emotional connection to our mother, and it’s also our “fear” center. Unresolved or relationships that are still too attached to our mothers bring forth a more painful belly button when pushed in by the thumb. My belly button doesn’t hurt when I push it in with my thumb, however, I have had my gallbladder removed through my belly button and now my appendix. Twice have I attempted to perhaps disconnect my own relationship to motherhood (or turn it inside out). Perhaps not my own mother, but maybe the mother I am to everyone out there.

It's time for me to stop being a mother to everyone and let people fly on their own. Everyone creates their own reality - and therefore everyone can get themselves out of the messes they have created by themselves. All I can be from now on is a catalyst...

I’m on a journey and rather than bringing sympathy to people, which is of no use to anyone at all, I choose to help people find their own power from within themselves.

You have a journey to walk, a path that you’ve agreed to undertake in this life time. Live it to your fullest!

Recovery Time

2008-04-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I apologize for the long delay on having contributed to my own blog. Last week during my last update called "Flow," I was actually at home feeling sick with a stomach flu. What looked and felt like a stomach flu was in reality in a bursting appendix. I was hospitalized in the middle of the night early on Wednesday morning, for a ruptured appendix removal. There were some complications and although I just returned home, I am taking the time to heal my body and give it the well deserved rest it needs. Plus, I'm not quite "done yet" with the lessons I have learned over these past 7 days, which I gratefully want to share with you.

Hope you had a great last week and stay tuned!

Flow

2008-04-21T06:41:00.000-07:00

The following poem was written by Rita & Joel McInnis. The title of the poem is called "Flow." The poem happens to describe the meaning of my name, and it happens to be the blueprint by which I want to live my life. Perhaps you'll understand yourself a little better after reading it yourself.

Flow

Be
As water is
Without friction

Flow around the edges
Of those within your path
Surround within your ever-moving depths
Those who come to rest there –
Enfold them
While never for a moment holding on

Accept whatever distance
Others are moved within your flow
Be with them gently
As far as they allow your strength to take them
And fill with your own being
The remaining space when they are left behind
When dropping down life’s rapids
Froth and bubble into fragments if you must
Knowing that the one of you now many
Will just as many times be one again

And when you’ve gone as far as you can go
Quietly await your next beginning...

When I'm So Sad...

2008-04-20T18:05:00.000-07:00

I am okay
I am not broken
I may just be out of sync
And out of balance
Crying helps
Although it’s exhausting
I’m tired
I need a moment
To regain my Self
To reconnect to my Self
My Higher Self

Take a deep breath
He’s out there
No worries
No fretting
No squeezing any square pegs into round holes
Not necessary
No taking steps backwards
Look forward
Learn from the past
Then let it go

The world is changing
Energy is moving
All the time
People make lasting impressions
Embedded into our energy patterns
I carry with me all of the encounters
Important and unimportant
Deep or shallow
They’re with me
On my journey to resolve my karma

What is my karma?
It’s never too late
To change for the better
Never too late
To change karma
Take responsibility
There is always only one cause
And within
There’s nothing without
Only within

Be your own
Take your own
Give your own
Share your own
To multiply I must divide myself
To receive others I must give myself

And so I pray for my enemies
I pray for their health
And wish them peace
I bless them with happiness
I bring them love
And forgiveness
I bless them with honesty
And remorse
And excitement
Long life
And justice
A sense of heavenly bliss
All these things I wish upon my enemies

And when I feel the need to seek revenge
I turn and transmute
The feelings of darkness
Into pure love and light

Then I realize that the sun never worries about shining only on those that were "good" the day before

The sun shines on everyone because the sun has only one purpose:

To Shine and to Warm Everyone and Everything...

And to Help Everyone Grow...

Making Pitchers Overflow vs. Creating Deserts

2008-04-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

The plea for help from men over the past couple of weeks has been overwhelming and alarming. I have had conversations with at least four men about the droughts in their marriages and partnerships they are experiencing. And I have had several more conversations with woman, some married, some single, about their marriages and partnerships. And the overwhelming unanimous opinion remains: men are holding on to their marriages for dear life (mostly because of the children), with much compromising and much “internal dying.” While women are secretly wishing that “they would just leave them alone.” They too have withered and are about to die like a flower without water in the desert heat.

I have created some picture- and photo-illustrations to make my point clear. And please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not trying to fix what “Adam and Eve” seemingly have screwed up for all humanity from the beginning of time. The illustrations hopefully will bring some consciousness to those of you who are hurting (including myself).

The percentages here are perhaps a drastic exaggeration, maybe they are an under-exaggeration. As long as it gets the point across:

If women are “wired” so that their needs are 90% Emotional and 10% Physical, then it is only logical that men’s “wiring make-up” is the opposite: 10% Emotional and 90% Physical.

“Why?” you may ask. “Why can’t men be 90% emotional like we are as women?” you may ask.
“Why can’t women be more sexual and physical and leave the drama outside the bedroom door?” you may ask.

It is believed that the planet is made up of 97% water. And it is believed that we as humans consist of 80-90% water. In reality there is a discrepancy because the equation has to be equal. Either the planet is made up of 80-90%, as we are. Or humans are made up of 97% water as is the planet. I’d say it’s easier to measure the water content of a human being, than it is to measure all of the water on this vast planet. Perhaps there is more landmass than we originally thought of? Maybe there is a surface beneath our broad seas that has remained undiscovered?

Whatever the case may be, just like the planet is complex, we as humans are just as complex, if not more so. The planet, however, has figured out how to work with masculine and feminine energy by mastering its giving and re-giving principle that keeps this entire galaxy in balance. In fact, every animal and plant submits to this balance. It is only us, humans, who constantly and flagrantly bring ourselves willingly out of balance. Only so we can blame our male or female counterpart for our bad choices and failures.

Why do we do this to ourselves? What is it about humans that leaves us to become “suckers for suffering?” When is Enough truly enough? How sick and how unhappy must we get before we start living and enjoying the happiness we have agreed to come here to experience?

Look at this picture here. If both pitchers are full, both partners have enough to give to overflow and give back to humanity. Yes, women in general do need more emotional “feeding” and men need more physical fulfillment. And in doing so the circle of life and energy has found its opposite end of the pole.

Why is it that we deliberately withhold what the other needs from us?

The complaints and concerns I have gotten from the men, which all range from the physical arena by not getting any or very little sex at home, to them feeling drained by having to work so much because the wife wants to stay home and spend his money. Men don’t understand that when a woman spends money on clothes or goes to the spa or gets cosmetic surgery or whatever she spends his money on, that she’s trying to fill up her emotional “pitcher” so she can continue giving her nurturing Self to her children and her friends. Women don’t understand that by withholding her body from her beloved husband, she is emptying and drying up his pitcher content that he needs to have the energy and the desire to continue go out there and work for the family. Both lose. Both get sick over time. And there is no other way than for Mother Nature to reflect the drought these couples have brought upon themselves to the outside world in form of a separation or divorce.

When the earth stops giving moisture to the heavens, the heavens are incapable of re-giving the moisture in form of rain so grass and flowers and beauty can grow: thus a desert is born.

When the earth gives plenty of moisture to the heavens the skies are capable and must re-give this same moisture in form of rain back to the earth: thus we experience forrests full of life, such as the Amazon forrest.

The same principle applies to us humans and the land of marriage. Yet so many are living in the Sahara Desert when it comes to our marriage. We have stopped giving what the other so desperately needs to bloom and live...

Neither of us, male nor female, understand that each of us is only a half cycle of the full life cycle.

A woman at the dog park said to me that she feels if there were only women on the planet there would be no war. I told her that without the contrast women would surely create their own wars that would be worse than what we experience today. It’s part of the illusion we live in. Women feel that they would be better off without their men, when in fact they’d only replace that emotional need with other methods, such as shopping, spending, drama, backstabbing other women and whatever else women do to find a purpose for existing every day.

And a world without women? Well, we don't have to go far to see what this would look like: Look at any male prison for the answer...

I started to teach a new class of 19 exquisite and wonderful women this past week. One of our classes this week was how women relate to money so differently than men. The questions and answers revealed how “old tapes” from growing up have embedded a strong belief in us that we are still to be provided for by our men. Not one woman realized that she could have her own relationship with money and that as long as she treated money like her best friend, money would stick around and bless her in only the best ways, just like a husband who has all his needs met would continually provide for her in every thinkable way. The conversation took a turn to marriages where couples are truly married for love, and one very mature woman who happens to be a psychologist, shared that the only successful and happy marriages she has ever seen is where the husband almost “worships” the woman and the woman reciprocates that treatment by treating him “like a god” as well.

I call this concept: give 100% and expect 0%.

Unfortunately most think partnerships are a case of 50/50. If I give only 50% and withhold the other 50%, how can I expect the other person to give 100% to me? We'll both always fall short.

We need each other so much and yet by kicking in our heals as women by demanding emotional love we only frustrate our men. And by men demanding sex even if their women have nothing to give emotionally, they too will soon “run on empty.”

I only have one piece of advice to give to those who are in this situation. Take out a piece of paper and write a note to the Universe, God, the Heavens, the Light Source, whatever you believe in. Write down something like this but in your own words:

“Thank you for giving me my one and only life partner who unconditionally loves and adores me and whom I love and respect as well. S/he’s now in my life and I am filled with true and unconditional love and I am so grateful. If this is my current partner, then open my eyes so I can see what I have previously not been able to see. If this is someone else, then I thank you for revealing this partner to me now and I gratefully release my current partner in love so s/he can find his/her rightful partner as well. And so it is.”

Warning: I wrote something like this several years ago while I was still married. It was as if the Universe was saying: "Finally, she's given us permission to set her free." A week later my husband and I agreed to separate. Our frequencies were so far apart that the electric Universe had no choice but to deliver my request. Although shocked and in tears, I realized that I had gotten exactly what I asked for. So don't be suprised if life is about forever to change for you as well.

If you are in a relationship that sucks your life essence out of you and you truly appreciate and love your current partner but know that he or she is not for you, then for love’s sake let them go. They deserve a chance at true love just like you do and by you hanging on and pounding on this square peg to make it fit into the round hole you are only hurting yourself and them.

You were blessed with a soul to embody a physical 4-layered body suit so you could come here to live a glorious live that embodies our true light source. Not satisfying the trust that was given you to live such a magnificent life is insulting the light you are and preventing your light source to shine through you.

It’s time for you to get back home to your true Self and stop compromising and giving up pieces of your Self until you have become a dry Desert.

Popular belief lets us believe that partnerships and marriages are a compromise, it should never be so. Partnerships are an enrichment to an already rich life that allows you to live life in an even more euphoric stage that you could not have experienced if you didn’t have your true life partner. And unless you live such a euphoric life, you are with the wrong partner. He or she may be a good partner, but wrong for you nonetheless…

So go after your true Self and remain your authentic individual self once and for all…Only then can you find your true life partner and together you’ll be able to experience overflowing pitchers that can give back to the vast sea of people who need your blessings and love.

Heart Breaks - And the Power of Sound

2008-04-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

What organ(s) specifically hurt when we say “my heart is broken”? After all, if we would be hooked up to an EKG machine right after or during a “heart break” we’d be surprised to find out that the EKG won’t signal any major changes that would indicate the diagnosis of a heart break.

So with all of us experiencing emotional pain at some point in our lives, what part of us exactly is affected?

Why is it that, when we get hit or spanked as a child, we may remember the memory of the event but what truly brings us pain are the words that went along with the spanking. How many of you have been hit as a child and when you think about it today and try to determine which body part hurts even to this day, there isn’t one you can detect. However, if the hitting was accompanied by “you’re such a bad girl/boy” or “you’re so dumb” or “you’ll never amount to anything” – those are words that to all eternity stay with us and it is those that bring forth the same sinking feeling that we got when we first heard them.

Granted, we live and we grow and we resolve and we forgive and we let go. And over time we heal, although we may never forget…

When I was 15 I had a death experience during which I was privileged enough to float through a tunnel and see the light. I was given a moment in eternity’s time to “touch” the light and become one with it. Yet “touching” this light was all I needed to sustain me to move forward once back in this world. What amazed me most was the knowing that became so apparent, about what was truth and what was not. With a 360 degree view on every plane, emotional, physical, spiritual, karmic, and so on, it became obvious that the humming of angels that I heard was in fact the means of transportation, the engine if you will.

There are absolutely no words in the English language that would suffice to describe the love and beauty that I experienced during those moments. I remember first waking up and coming back to this life and the first and most profound “thing” was the overwhelming feeling of love that I felt while being transported through this amazing place. Slowly and day after day the experience unfolded before me as I was able to process it and make sense of it. It still is to this day.

What has stayed with me and what I have finally started to realize over the past few years, is that everything that exists and does not exist, is on the basis of sound. For musicians this may be balm to their soul, because they already know what the rest of the world doesn’t know. Music is healing (provided it is soothing to ones soul).

Decades ago an experiment was made by a man named Chladney. By putting sand on metal plates of different sizes and then pulling a violin string along the metal plate, he created a sound, which caused the sand to start “dancing” and reformat itself to beautiful designs upon the plates. Today, Dr. Emoto is doing the same kind of work by photographing water in its frozen state. Over the decades we have simply become more sophisticated to demonstrate what we already know: sound is all there is for us to know and work with because it is created by light. With sound we heal. With sound we destroy. To get to the "right" types of sound we have to get connected to the light source. The one and only.

Rudolf Steiner (Waldorf Education) wrote books about the 7-year cycle, which every human submits to. It’s a rhythm that we each undergo, as does everything else in the world. Based on his studies he proved that the lungs are the last organs to develop in a child, which is around 14 years old. According to Steiner, a child that has to listen to negativity, yelling, drama, gossip and other non-sense most of this world offer, will not develop healthy organs but retarded organs, which later comes back to bite us in form of ailments in our older age.

A few years ago I became a Reiki Master and with the symbols given I was amazed to find out that by a simple laying on of hands I would be able to help someone get rid of a migraine in just a couple of minutes. Later I found out that if I can blow on the painful area and put my hands on the surrounding area, that the healing would take place more permanently and much quicker. Then I remembered the sounds in “the tunnel” and I asked the Spirit world to provide me with the key notes to use the right sounds to help someone. Yes, this sounds weird, but if you’ve read the previous post on Hiring the Heavens, and you’ve tried it, then this is not a surprise to you. Suddenly I started to realize that I intuitively know what sounds to make and where on the body someone is hurting. By making the appropriate sound (and I never know what sound comes out of me) the frequency of the painful area seems to get scrambled and the pain disappears. When I intuitively look into a person's body that is hurting, all I see is dense electric areas of specific colors. I only use my hands to fill that space with love and light, once the pain has left. Then I realized that by using my voice even while I talk to a person, without them even knowing, there is a frequency that is emitted to them and their pain is leaving by just talking to me, even if the topic we’re talking about has noting to do with their ailment. That is why I decided to record my e-book onto a 6-hour CD. Almost everyone who has bought the audio book tells me that they are transported into a deep meditative state and they often fall asleep. I'm being assured that it is not because it's boring, because it certainly isn't, but that it's because of my voice. And everyone loves the feeling they get. It's a feeling of healing...

I’m not saying these things to get clients or to brag – because I don’t take clients and this is not the work that I do. I am sharing this with you because you too have a frequency that you emit every time you talk. I am going to take this a bit further and say that you not only emit this frequency when you open your mouth, but also when you look at someone, especially when your eyes meet. And going even further, I am sharing with you that your frequency gets emitted to your surroundings by you simply existing and being in a certain location. You don’t even have to look at someone or talk to someone, you influence the place you’re in, whether you like it or not.

So let’s get back to hearts that are broken. First of all, our hearts are not breakable. It’s a figure of speech and yet it’s one that we all have experienced and that is very real to all of us. By using some simple sound techniques you can heal your own heart, rather than hoping that the person who hurt you will bring you healing, or your children, or your spouse, or someone or something else.

Here it is:

Hum

You may say: “That’s it!? All I have to do is hum? That’s too easy!”

You don’t have to be a singer and come up with any melody to hum and heal your own heart. All you have to do is hum. Close your eyes and take on a comfortable position, sit on a bench out in nature or better yet, sit on the grass or in the woods on a tree trunk or stay standing hugging a tree. Feel Mother Nature running through your veins, imagine your blood running through your body, follow the red and white blood cells, examine them, be amazed at them. Watch your own atoms as they are changing and forever working in service to you, be in awe because you’re a magnificent Being. Then silently ask your guidance system to help you hum the right notes to break loose any non-beneficial cells that may be blocking you from moving forward and from renewing yourself. Start humming ever so slowly and at a level that maybe only you can hear. This is not about coming up with a new one hit wonder – this is about breaking loose non-beneficial pain and cells that are ready to be let go of.

Another way of starting is to let yourself float out into the Universe and visit other galaxies and to let “them” show you the humming sound of the Universe. When I do this all I hear is a deep electric sound. Most people call this the Om. You can start there, although I want to caution you. The Universe has its own vibration, which is the Om. You on the other hand have your own key stroke, and I can’t tell you what yours is, because mine may be different than yours. You’ll have to find your own.

And the last way to get this key is to focus on your neck area when you meditate. There is a little flame, a pilot light if you will, that shines brighter some days and not so bright other days. It carries the key of your note within it. If you can find this light and tune in to it, then your note will be revealed to you this way.

Yes, it sounds too easy and it is simple. However, the hard part becomes you having the patience until you are revealed your tone so you can hum the exact tune your higher self is giving you. This may very well be one of the most difficult thing you’ll ever do. But when you have figured out the key to your exact tune, you’ll have the key to not only heal your own body, but you can heal your surroundings and your life situations.

Remember to ask for help, and you will receive. Ask for the tune to be shown to you, and it shall be so.

Please let me know how you’re doing on your journey and if you’ve found your key.

Our Body as Symbols

2008-04-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

We often forget that our body is a vehicle and an exact replica of what’s going on inside of us. Not inside our bodies, but inside our emotional world. Not only is our body today a summary of all the previous life times we have lived, every limb and every body part has a function and is representing something that is also happening in our internal world, including past lives. We dismiss a cold and a flu to seasonal expectations. We accept teenage acne and pimples to be normal and everyone expects to get weaker and more bridle as we grow older. No one asks questions beyond these expectations, which is really too bad because our bodies are communicating so much more to us.

Skin Issues:
When I was born for example, I was plagued with extreme eczema to the point where my skin was bleeding in many areas over my body. I was haunted by allergies all year round and my mother had to take me to the University of Zurich to get tested. I was a little girl and to this day remember the fear of needles I developed from having been poked and prodded so much.

Over the years on a journey of self discovery and healing I have learned a lot about body symbols. Today I get compliments about my nice skin. Pure coconut oil is all I put on my skin today and I make sure to get a little bit of sun every day. No one would ever have thought that I grew up with skin that was broken and leathery and covered in patches of unhealthy tissue. Doctors were here to fix the symptoms, to fix the effects. So I was given cortisone shots and creams and solutions to bathe in; I was forbidden to eat this and that and couldn’t touch animals and on and on the list went.

The cause, however, was within me, and me only. It wasn’t within my parents and it wasn’t within the doctors, it was only within me. And because I was a little girl, I wasn’t wise enough to know what this cause was. And my parents weren’t conscious enough to know what to look for or how to interpret the symbols. Today with hindsight being my best friend, I realize that I never wanted to be on this planet in the first place. I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t want to be here. The Universe took my discomfort and my unwillingness to be on this planet and created the outward appearance to make my wish its command. Thus my attempted suicide when I was 15. It’s that simple.

Pimples and Acne:
Teenagers get pimples and acne and there is a perfectly logical medical explanation for it, as there is for everything else. And medicine for it is plentiful. However, did it ever occur to anyone that a teenager’s real job is to break free and break away from their parents in order to find themselves and be ready to move out at 18 (or thereabouts)? For those of you who have teenagers, you know that you bud heads with your teenager a lot more than you did with your 5 year old. My 15 year old daughter asked: “Why is it that you push my buttons like no one else? And how is it that you’re always in my face?” And I told her: “It’s your job to separate from me by finding your Self. And you do that by finding how far you can push your boundaries. So you push and push and when the rubber band snaps and you’ve gone too far, I pull you back to teach you some more life lessons so you can be ready to move out soon and be a responsible and conscious adult.”

There are only three words here that reveal why teenagers have pimples and acne: “In my face.”

As adults we constantly are in teenagers’ faces and we tell them what to do, we punish them and we are constantly “nagging” them to do things differently. Of course as parents we do this in the name of love. But to the teenager we are nags and if we would just get out of their faces, they’d be better off (at least that’s what they think). If you are a parent and your teenager has a lot of acne and pimples and you don’t feel that you’re in your teenager’s face all the time, don’t get mad at me. Look at the evidence as it never lies. Even if your teenager says you’re the best parent ever, there is still a subconscious opinion that you’re in their face too much.

What about pimples on your body? “Get off my back!” Who is on your back that’s causing your body wanting to get rid of them? And don’t blame it on your age or the hormone changes. Those are just excuses.

Shoulders:
A couple of days ago I was stretching next to a young man in his 20s whom I hadn’t seen at the gym in a couple of weeks. He said that he hurt his other shoulder by dropping weights on his “good shoulder.” He pointed to his right shoulder and said that this was his bad shoulder. And I logically thought to myself that he had a tough childhood and serious unresolved issues going on with his father. Subconsciously the shoulders are where we carry life’s burdens. The right shoulder reflects the masculine side, or issues with their own masculinity or our fathers. Then he told me that he dropped the weight on his good shoulder, the left one. And I thought to myself that he’s carrying around some unresolved issues relating to femininity, his mother or a girlfriend. As we started to talk I found out that his mother came to the US when she was 7 months pregnant, to give birth to him. She then went back to France where she moved in with her Mom and then left her son (this young man) with his grandmother until he was 5 years old. When he was 5 she called for him and he moved to Los Angeles. Today he’s in his 20s and he doesn’t talk to his father anymore and wants nothing to do with him (thus his right shoulder issues) and the left shoulder is easily explainable with his journey trying to make sense of the female species. He’s carrying a heavy burden on both shoulders from both masculine and feminine. And until he resolves these issues his shoulders will not have a chance to heal.

So how can he fix his shoulder? By taking MRIs, taking pain killers, doing stretches and exercises?

Or by dealing with the real issues at heart?

Our bodies are just symbols that are talking to us. All we need to do is listen. Our bodies want to be our biggest advocates and best friends. They want to be here to serve us so we can go through this life journey with a healthy vehicle that will serve us with energy and pleasure, not pain and discomfort (which only removes our willingness to complete our purpose here).

Remember that there is always only ONE cause, which is always inside you. There are always multiple effects, which are always outside. You can never fix a cause by fixing the ripple effects. Chasing after ripple effects on a lake will prove to be a waste of time. Go after the cause, it’s much quicker, it’s permanent and it will set you free.

Our bodies are amazing tools and symbols and if we just pay attention then we can live this life with eyes wide open. We become our own healers as we learn that we are the doers of every ailment we carry, from the smallest pimple to even cancer. The answers and the cure are always inside of us.

My entire 6-hour Audio CD and e-Book talks about these topics. If you want to get true healing from the inside out and be the healer of your own life, visit http://www.inspirationtolive.com/ and get your own copy today.

Sending you awakening rays of sunlight to reveal your path to health.

Wake Up - This is Real

2008-04-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

Because I’m not an American citizen and wasn’t born here I will most likely always have the ability to see other cultures' sides as they talk about world politics. I am apolitical and in addition to sports, gossip, and drama – politics is rarely on my discussion topics. For various reasons I don’t even want to get into.

However, since this is a site to help wake people up to their own power (because I truly believe you are so incredibly powerful), I do have to talk about some issues from time to time. The control that is being exercised on us as a human race is at times mind boggling to me. What is ten thousand times more flabbergasting to me is the fact that we actually believe the crap we’re being told.

If you truly want to become a different person from the inside out, here are only 2 things for you to do this week (then watch the amazing change in you):

Step 1: Go on a media diet for 7 days. Do not watch any TV (with the exception of Step 2 below), don’t read any magazines or newspapers and do not listen to the radio for 7 days (not even the music channels). If you want to listen to music do so listening to your own CDs, just make sure you stay away from commercials.

Step 2: Watch this movie at least once over the next 7 days: http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com. The movie takes about 2 hours. Make sure not to watch it in pieces but watch it all at once.

I’m going to “warn” you and give you a heads up. Do not get angry at me for having asked you to watch the movie. Wake up and realize what is going on in this world. Then make a decision that you are indeed different. You are awake. You are all powerful and you are your own creator. Your life will change dramatically after watching this movie because other like-kind messages will be coming to you and wake you up even more. Some of it will call you higher because it will call you to action. And at times the actions to take seem too overwhelming for one person, and thus we often give up with the attitude: “I’m just one person, what can I do!”

Don’t give up – there is a huge reason you are reading this, there is an even bigger reason why you have chosen to be on this planet at this time. And it’s not to twiddle your thumbs and smile at the birds and the bees.

And when you have passed your 7 days, I would love to hear how you’re doing.

Much courage and consciousness to all of you!

Hiring Heavenly Help

2008-04-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I met Jean Slatter at a dowsing event and she talked about her soon-to-be-published book called “Hiring the Heavens.”

The basic idea is that just like you have a physical Yellow Pages here on Earth there is also a heavenly Yellow Pages (if you make it so). Just like you would hire “earthly” people to help you with certain tasks, you can go to the heavenly Yellow Pages and hire heavenly angels to do work for you. We tend to dismiss anything we can’t see or touch, even if others rave about its power. Before you dismiss this one, read about some ways these heavenly helpers have helped me over the past few years.

Mother-Daughter Experts:
For example, I have a team of “mother-daughter experts” whose responsibility is to help us get along, to communicate and to always love each other. I hired this group of angels to step in powerfully when she and I fight and to be with us as our permanent counselor. And since I’ve hired these angels our relationship has become a lot more open and peaceful.

Note, I have hired angels on a permanent basis and others on a temporary basis. I use the same system as any employment agency would.

Technical Team:
I have “hired” an entire group of “traffic angels” to make sure my car starts, to make space for me when I enter a freeway, to provide a parking space when I get to wherever I need to get to, to serve as a buffer between me and other cars in case anyone comes too close, and an entire group of angels to make sure the mechanics in my car works smoothly. I hire temporary teams when I fly in an airplane and always visualize legions of angels around my plane, and a welcome team to ensure a safe landing, and so on.

I hold literal staff meetings with my angels while I’m driving. This is the time everyone thinks I’m talking on the hands free phone, when in reality I’m talking to my success team of angels. This meeting is to uplift and congratulate the angels for a job well done and to give them new jobs. I’m the CEO of my life, they are my invaluable and invisible helpers.

My Health Team:
I have an entire army of angels that are here to clean out my physical body on a second by second basis. Their job is to transport all the dead cells swiftly and speedily, to make room for the new cells so my body is strong and healthy. I have angels whose job it is to give my physical and etheric bodies gentle heavenly massages to flush out any toxins. I have communication experts that are in charge of making sure there is order within my body and to let me know when it is time to rest. I have not been sick in several years, not even a cold or a terrible headache. Instead I subconsciously know when to take it easy and when to push myself. I listen to them and my body rewards me with health, stamina and amazing energy and health.

Relationship Team:
The slew of experts I have in this department almost borders excess. I have an individual therapist, a relationship therapist, a psychologist and a psychiatrist, anything from cupid to “the devil’s advocate” and anything in between. I want to make sure that I’m not wasting time in this department or get involved when hearts get broken. I have asked to get my karmic lessons without actually having to get involved with anyone. So I have a team of past-life experts who in detail know what my lessons are with certain people (because they were there and they know). Just because I don’t remember all of my previous life times in detail doesn’t mean I can’t call on my angels to help guide me. So I meet men all the time, but never get involved more than an introduction, a handshake and perhaps a dream or vision about my karmic lesson with this person. So rather than getting involved I am able to work through the same karmic work from a distance and in a fraction of time. I admire and adore my helpers for this support!

And of course I have an entire legion of match-maker angels who are paving the path for him and I to meet at the most appropriate time and in the most fun ways, when the time is perfect for both of us. And then I have a “consciousness angel” whose job it is to always keep my eyes and ears open so that I am aware of who comes into my life and why.

The Sifter Team:
I have an entire “sifter team” whose job it is to sift through relationships for me. Just like a tree some people come into my life as a leaf and are blown away at the slightest blow of the wind, they're here perhaps for a season. Others are branches that seem strong but as soon as I need to lean on them for support they crumble. And others are part of the trunk, visible and strong and part of who I am in this life. And others are part of the root, invisible in my day-to-day life, yet part of why I am here. Without these people I couldn’t be here. My sifter team is here to prune this tree, even when it hurts, and to clean up and prepare the tree for the new season.

I have an entire list of teams of angels that are helping me. And I know it sounds super funny or weird almost, but I can’t tell you how much this works in my daily life. I am forever grateful for Jean Slatter for writing this book.

Remember that the most beautiful and most powerful things ever are the things that are SIMPLE. This system is not only simple, it truly works! It is only restricted by the figment of your imagination. So go out there and ask for what ever you want and enjoy receiving it!

Hope!

2008-04-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

I have been super privileged to get a contract with an amazing organization that provides a one-stop shop where high-potential, lower-income women receive training to start and grow their business. Their mission is to build the entrepreneurial capacity of women to overcome economic and social barriers and achieve self-sufficiency. Having spoken in front of thousands of people in the real estate industry, most of my previous clients were men. It was a financial world, analytical, left-brained, logical and number oriented. Yes, there were women in my audience, but time and time again my audience consisted of 80-95% men. I remember feeling comfortable in that environment because I didn’t feel judged; it was about the subject topic not about me. It was easy and simple: provide the data, make sense and be logical and get out.

Speaking in front of women is a whole new ball game and it has been calling me to new heights. I feel not as easy and “at home” with women than I do with men. And that's why I'm probably doing what I'm doing - so I can learn and grow and give back more value. And yes, this is certainly traced back to my own childhood. I got along much easier with my Dad than I did with my Mom. There always seemed to be judgment and jealousy from my Mom, even to this day. Whether in reality or just in the figment of my imagination – it doesn’t matter. I simply am more comfortable around men. They are who they are, they generally speaking don’t put up a façade and they don’t really change personalities in order to impress anyone. Left is left and right is right, and there's isn't much in between. What you see is what you get type of thing. I find women a lot more complicated and complex, and perhaps because I am more masculine oriented in my thinking, I struggle with the drama of most women. And yes, this is a gross generalization and there are certainly exceptions.

Now back to these women. My class of women is completing their 22 class program today - they are graduating! And in many ways I feel like the proud mama-hen today, helping them fly out of their nests and go out there into the real world and live their dream. They each had a flame burning inside of them, a dream to one day start and own their own businesses. It was my job to bring forth that flame and help them put it into words in form of a business plan. Now the entire world can read about their "flame," which for many is a scary thing. Having been with these women over these past few weeks has humbled me big time. They have obstacles that make me want to cry, and yet they still come, they persevere and their persevere some more and their belief in their dream has pushed them and spurred them on to not give up. In spite of their obstacles.

So what does this have to do with you, my readers?

We get stuck on the rat’s wheel in our every-day lives. Taking care of our employer, rather than becoming an employer, we dedicate our jobs to our family, at least that's the excuse, our children (when all they want is our time), our pets (because they're so helpless), our lawns and our houses (because we carry the mortgage). We go to the grocery store and do our 3,000 thousand mile oil change like clock work. We are human-doings. We become zombies and fall asleep and go through life having lost and even having forgotten our dream to one day make a real difference in our lives and those of others. We may have thought that we would make a difference by winning the Olympics or by building a multi-billion dollar company, and those dreams are long gone. But what about making a difference in just one or two people’s lives today?

Here is a challenge for you today. Go buy a cup of coffee and a pastry and then drive around until you see a homeless person begging for money. Bless the coffee and the pastry and hand it to him or her and wish them the greatest day ever. Look into their eyes when you hand it to them and let them see your teeth like only your dentist knows your teeth (smile!). It might be the only smile they'll get for a long time... And here comes the kicker: don’t tell anyone that you did this. Hold it in and let your feeling of gratitude be with you and you only…then watch what happens - you'll be amazed.

Much grace and courage for everyone today!

Letting Go - Moving – Changing – New Beginnings

2008-04-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

Four years ago and after an almost 15 year marriage my husband and I separated; a year later my daughter and I moved on by selling the house she grew up in and moving into a townhouse. We needed a new beginning, a new start, in a new place where we would make new memories…

After 3 years we left this townhouse only 3 days ago and have settled into a new place once again. Well, the place isn’t new, in fact it’s an old house in the hills of Mill Valley, only a hundred yards away from the Bay and a gorgeous jogging and bike path that stretches over several miles into Sausalito.

While the surroundings are definitely a lot more convenient and much more beautiful (see photo here of the actual dog park by the tree on the left, taken by Dan Heller), the actual living space is not beautiful at all. I am finding myself sitting here and wondering how I ever got to this place. Then I ask myself what “this place” really means. Who is it that is judging? What is “this place” and why does it feel and sound like a complaint? After all, I pay $1000 less rent per month, which is a huge deal, and have at least 50% less traveling to do in my car because of this new location. And on and on I could go with the positives. Yet, I'm stuck on the negatives...

While emptying boxes with a slight to moderate attitude about various things, I wondered how I had become such a snob. Why was this new place “not good enough” or “beneath” what I should have at this stage in my life? Who says how things should be anyhow? Why was I so darn unsatisfied about seemingly taking a few steps backwards rather than forward? After all, I moved into a space half the size giving away more than half of my belongings, none of which was older than two years…Why this rumbling complaining?

I still needed to go pick up our one year old puppy from my friend who kept him for a few days while we took care of the move. Here is a picture of our little "ham." We picked him up and he sat on my daughter’s lap while driving to our new place. I was about to witness a great miracle, perhaps with little to no meaning to anyone, except me. And I will share it nonetheless…

Here are some pictures of the views I enjoyed in the townhouse I just moved out of. Pictures of the new place are soon to come. I was in particular exited to show him his new yard. We moved from a townhouse on a hill with 3 balconies but no yard, to the bottom half of a duplex with a yard just for him (and us of course). I was certain that he would want to spend most of his time in the yard playing around and being outside. How wrong I was.

After he sniffed along the path to his new place he "christened" his one new bush and walked into his home and jumped up at us squealing of joy to see us after having been gone all these days (he was gone for 3 days). He kept jumping on our laps as if he hadn’t seen us in 3 decades. We walked him around the yard but he wasn’t interested in anything except being close to us and showing us how much he missed us.

This is his second day here at this new place and while he seems to have settled in just perfectly, all he seems to be interested in is being close to one of us. He was like this at our old place; he hasn't changed, his attitude is still the same: he wants us; he doesn't care about the new surroundings, the yard, the new dog park (the old one was just fine). All he cares about it being close to us and spending time with one of us.

We went to the new dog park twice today and he doesn’t care about the new dogs as much, he just cares about being able to run around while smelling all the new aromas on the field and he doesn’t leave my side.

Why is it that we as human beings can’t or won’t adjust to change as quickly and as willingly as our “best friends” do? All they care about is being close to us. Yet when we are about to change our lives we start to worry about everything else except the people that we want to be closest to in the first place. Being in this new place allows me to work part time and remain a stay-home Mom to my teenager daughter. She is almost 15 and last night she asked me to snuggle in her bed with her before I go to bed. Such a bond between mothers and teenage daughters is not an every-day occurance and I am realizing that just like my puppy displays affection so openly, my daughter wants to spend time with me too (even though she has a teenage way of expressing it at times). Yet how often have I sacrificed my time with my child for a better place to live (and said that I do it for my family)?

So I’m learning once again that I need to live in the moment. Thinking ahead has its time and place and is certainly advantageous when applied correctly. Unfortunately I find myself worrying more than anything when I think of anything other than just this very moment, which is all I have in reality anyway. No value can ever be place on Time. Time is all anyone ever wants. So much so that we pay therapists big bucks for them to give us the undivided time and attention that no one else in our lives seems to give us!

I’m realizing that I have not meditated as much and as thoroughly and deeply and as freely as I used to in the past. These past few weeks have been stressful, the packing, the selling and giving away of furniture, helping my landlady find a new tenant for my old place and helping 4 women graduate this Wednesday by helping them get their first business plans together, has all been a lot of work. I also launched my new website, http://www.inspirationtolive.com, and although it’s a work in progress, it was a lot of writing and designing with still more to come.

Many of you are out there keeping busy for good reasons and not so good reasons. No matter what your reasons are and in "what name" you do it for (supposedly), don't forget that you can't buy the present time with money, no matter how hard you try. Although I have quite a few things I can “check” off my to-do list, I have to continually ask myself: “What have I REALLY accomplished over these past few days/weeks/months? Whom have I really, really helped? Has my life and my existence meant something to anyone over these past few weeks? Was anyone glad that I was here? Or was my life in vain over these past few months?”

I don’t ever want to spend days in vain, or even hours. I want to walk in this four-layered body suit of mine with intention and consciousness and purpose through this journey called life. And so I am at peace and I rest that there is a grander purpose for me to be here on this street, in this town, in this little place at this moment in time. It’s not forever, it’s just for now…

So wherever you are, good or bad, know that it’s only temporary. But also acknowledge that you got yourself there and that it is by your choice that you are where you are. And it will be by your choice to move on from where you are now, to a new place that hopefully represents growth on your evolutionary journey.

I am sending you blessings and love and only rays of sunshine to brighten your journey!

When Sex Becomes a "Weapon"

2008-04-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Exciting things are happening over here. My daughter and I are moving to a new location, new place, new surroundings, new city. We’re both exited and nervous at the same time, and exhausted because we only have one more day to finish packing and giving away what we can’t take with us. We are moving into a space half the size. It’s so great to de-clutter!

Before I log off for a couple of days, I just had to write to everyone because this has been a burning question on my mind.

A man was telling me that he had been having a really rough time in his marriage and while counseling keeps a band aid on things, it is not fixing the overall issue; which of course is a mismatch in their chemical make-up (their blood runs on a different frequency). Meanwhile, feeling stuck in his marriage and tied down by his obligation, his promise and his desire to want to do the right thing, he is giving up more and more of himself, in order to keep the oh-so-detrimental promise: “Until Death Do Us Part.”

A friend of his told him that “it’s cheaper to keep’er” in the long run. "Yes, but at what cost," I asked him. He is the only bread winner while she’s at home spending most of his money. It’s driving him insane how she can spend money.

Then we got to talk about their sex life and sadly enough, when a couple has sex 2 times per year (yes, you heard me right, per year), then it may be time to sit down and do some serious meditating (soul searching as some would call it). I asked him if he ever cheated on her and he said “no,” although he’s been tempted and opportunity definitely has been calling. While he does not seem the type to go out and do the dishonorable thing, when is Enough enough and when is his breaking point?

Women can go without sex for a long, loooong time, without even missing it. This is especially true once they have little children running around. For most women sex is primarily emotional, not physical. So if the emotional needs can be met taking care of their children and by spending lots of money, why should she give up her body when she doesn’t feel like it? It takes a really strong woman to continually work on her own sexuality and to continue fostering those feelings of Want for her partner and to realize that men do work differently physically and to continually deny them their body is like a death sentence to their marriage.

It’s a sad, sad situation and yet so true for so many couples. I was one of those couples not too long ago, and I remember the years when our frequency of sex was 2, perhaps 3 times per year. Ouch.

If you look at it from his side, is it any wonder if he would end up cheating on her? He’s working hard, making all the money, coming home to a wife who instead of taking care of his physical/sexual needs is handing him receipts for more things she bought while he was gone. He’s caught in the middle because he cannot bare leaving his children. Knowing the court system of today, most fathers are truly getting the shorter end of the stick. This includes the dead-beat Dads and the good Dads.

He has met a woman who is single, has not had any sex in quite a few years herself and has absolutely no intention of breaking up anyone’s marriage. Yet their sexual tension nonetheless exists, they are attracted to each other and while they agree not to dishonor and hurt anyone, the tension gets tighter and tighter, as if a rubber band is being pulled apart. When the rubber band snaps, what do you think will happen?

Is it any wonder if this man “breaks” and “gives in”? Could anyone blame him?

So what is the solution, not only for these people here, but for everyone out there who is in the same situation?

When is Enough enough?

I am still meditating on this one because I feel too close to the situation since I know this man and I can see his pain in this face. I have never been cheated on and I have never cheated on anyone. But I do remember the temptation when I felt rejected by my husband over and over. I was there and if the right opportunity would have presented itself, perhaps I would not have been strong enough to keep my promise.

This man loves his children more than anything and doesn’t want to lose them. At the same time he’s a man with needs and wants and desires, which he does not get met by his supposed life partner.

What’s a man to do?

Authenticity – a Scarcity?

2008-03-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

A man who is having a difficult time in his marriage wanted a woman’s perspective on what women want from men. He felt confused at the complexity of how women were built (emotionally) and he felt that nothing he ever did was right. He was close to giving up and certainly had started to get the “wandering eye” – which is like crucifying his marriage while being blind folded. It is so difficult to resurrect a marriage once it has gotten “that bad.”

I am not like most women for many reasons. I tend to get along much better with men than I do with women, just because I find women too complicated and confusing for their own good sometimes. If women would just get out of their own destructive ways and drop the drama at times, their lives would be much simpler. Yes, I’m grossly generalizing and yes, there are men too who are making things complicated just like women do. I’m talking “average” here.

After our discussion of what I want in a man, or people in general, it came down to one word: AUTHENTICITY.

What is authenticity and why can “my ideal man” be summed up in this one word?

The Thesaurus describes authenticity as genuineness, legitimacy, validity, faithfulness, dependability, accuracy, realness, substance, trueness, truth, sincerity and realism, etc.

A man who is legitimately genuine and validates his faithfulness to himself by his dependability, which of course he shows by being real and by living in truth and with sincerity, shows substance of the heart. How rare is such a find!

And this goes for women too. Perhaps even more so. How many times have we seen people sell out? How many times have we sold out ourselves?

The absence of authenticity, in my opinion, is scarcity.

The Thesaurus describes scarcity as shortage, lack, insufficiency, deficiency, famine, etc.

When I first came to the United States speaking barely any English, I pronounced the word scarcity as “scar – city.” It made sense, I figured it was a city full of scars, thus we would call it “scar-city.” After about a year someone had the courage to correct my mispronunciation and told me that it was pronounced “scare-city.” That made sense too: it was a city full of scares.

A man (or a woman) living without authenticity automatically lives in scarcity, or a city full of scars or scares. Scarcity of character that is. Such a person sells out too easily, perhaps at the slightest sign when things get tough. But to hold to ones authentic Self is such a rare sight and experience, that when it actually does happen it floors us and it seems almost surreal. All this is so surprising to me as a foreigner in this country. I thought this was the country of the “free” where Freedom of Speech was the basis of what this country is founded upon. I don’t see a lot of that neither from the top nor from the rest of us.

Not sticking up for what is right for ourselves causes us to bottle up. We all know what happens with a bottle neck in a freeway. Over time the traffic gets worse until people start moving out of the area because they’ve had enough of the long commute to work. When we create a bottleneck within our own flow of feelings and emotions, the same thing happens, except that those 50 trillion living cells can’t move out of the body, they seek war instead, which often results in physical ailments such as strokes, heart problems, and cancer.

There is one simple solution to our problems: be authentic. Not according to others’ authenticity, but your own.

Your toughest challenge is to figure out who you are in the first place!

And the only place you’ll find the answer to who you are deep within is exactly there: deep within your Self. Meditate, take time out from the daily grind, sit in peace and in silence out with Mother Nature. Let her tell you who you are, then go and spread your wings and be your authentic Self. And as you do so, others who are hurting you will automatically fall away and new people who are as authentic as you are will fill the empty space. It will be a blessed day when you realize how magnificant you are!

My blessed rays of light to brighten your day!

A Blessing and Prayer for Our Enemies

2008-03-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

It has been a difficult journey to want to pray for my enemies, yet I have not given up and as I have just started out on this path, I will learn a lot and undoubtedly share it with the world.

Often we think that the word "repentance" means "to give something up" - in truth that is only half of the equation. Repentance also means to turn around and do the opposite of what was done before. We are also advised to bless our enemies, to pray for them and to make them our friends. Urgh – after someone hurts us, crucifies us upside down and then cuts out our heart when we’re still alive, how can we humanly pray for such people?

And yet, holding anger and harboring revenge in our hearts really only hurts one person: us.

So I am learning that we can always make choices, after all, that is the privilege of being a human being. One can respond by saying “hallelujah” or one can say “darned.” Either way, the Universal forces support us all the way, no matter our choice.

After I came up with this prayer below I shared with my friend that the list of “enemies” was reaching close to 50 people. They are not people that I hate or that I wish bad things for, they are just people that have hurt me in the past, one way or another. Some are business related, others are close friends and family members. The sad part is that I no longer associate with most of those people because most of these bridges now lay in ruins. I don’t like drama and I don’t want people around me that lack integrity, character or authenticity. I always told my mother as a teenager that I would rather live in this world alone than to live amongst a pack of evil back stabbers. And even though I would love to live in a lonely Swiss mountain cabin taking care of animals rather than sharing my live vulnerably with the world, as I am strolling through my 40s I realize that I do have the option to make such a choice. And now that I realize that I do have this choice, I am still choosing to have my life in the public eye because I know that is where I can help the most.

Perhaps this prayer will aid some of you to pray for those that have hurt you. After all, the world is a heavy burden for us to carry. I am not strong enough to carry the anger and the hatred I have for people who hurt me, therefore I want to release it and let it go so I can be free to wish them peace, which in turn will return to me in like-form.

So here is my prayer. Feel free to copy and paste it and adjust it to what feels right to you. I would recommend you reading it at least once a day, before retiring, and preferrably throughout the day.

Father-Mother Principal, Light Source, to The Great I Am:
And I am in awe of your creation of not only the Universe, but especially our intricate system that we as human represent. We are You in the flesh, Your magnificance lives and experiences through us. We are connected, forever intertwined, interwoven, intermingled and for all times and endlessly interdependent from one another. How magnificent You truly are – I am on a forever journey to discover and understand your works.
I fully realize how powerful I am, especially as a catalyst and anchor to others, no matter the intentions. Therefore I am concerned with the feelings I hold towards those who hurt me and bring the situation before you. I come before you with an offering of a broken spirit. I don't want to pass blame, this is my own doing. I present to you my enemies and those who hurt me, and my emotions that come to the surface when I think about these people; those whom I purposefully choose not to interact with – yet I present them to you and ask you to bless them with only the best of the best that You have to offer. Although they hurt me, I’m sure they never set out to do so on purpose. And I know I too have hurt others tremendously, yet never on purpose. So I am asking You to forgive them as I have, and to bring them only what You think is just. I ask You to bless the following people:

[insert your own list of people]

And with this prayer I release any non-beneficial feelings that I may be inclined to hold on to and ask that You cleanse and transmute these feelings into pure love as only You know it. I release all these people to You and I only wish them love, peace and blessings. And so it is.

Letting Go and Starting Over (Again)

2008-03-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

This week I saw a video of an Australian man who, after a divorce, is selling his “life” on eBay. The video clip shows his house, boat, cars, motorcycle, TV and everything that goes along with the life he’s built and known so far. He is in his 40s and he is literally starting over with nothing; well, perhaps a few more dollars then when he started out. Still, how many people do you know that would have the guts to sell everything and start over? In our 20s perhaps, but the older we get and the more we accumulate the harder it becomes to let go of accumulated values.

It made me think of times when I was either willing or forced to let go of everything and the reasons behind it. And strangely enough, I’m going through it right now again; not by choice, but by circumstance.

Everyone goes through ups and downs in cycles. My cycle is a 10-year cycle. What is yours?

I was 2 years old when I first remember the feeling of scarcity. My mother, sister and I were in the cellar looking through bags of clothes that were ready to be given to my little sister. My mother handmade all of our clothes and she always stretched a penny as far as it could go. I remember wearing the uncomfortable socks my mother sowed back together after they got holes in them right underneath the big toe. Old kitchen towels were used to fix the holes in our jeans and other old and torn up clothes were used to sow together a blanket that would keep us warm during the winter time. I disliked feeling like everything had to be used and reused and then re-re-used for a third time.

When I was 12 my father left and my mother went back to work 6 days a week, 12 hours a day; she had been a stay home mom and money for the two of us was tight. She had to fight my Dad for alimony, especially since my sister went to live with him. We moved from a tiny 3-bedroom apartment to an even smaller 2-bedroom apartment in a building that was hundreds of years old. In order to use the toilet we had to leave our apartment and go down the cold stairs into the main hallway. She provided the main items, such as a roof over my head and basic food group items. Anything extra, such as clothes and food that I wanted to eat had to be earned by me. So I started to work when I was 12 years old and bought my clothes used at the Salvation Army or a second hand store. My possessions consisted of a wooden crate to hold my lamp stand and a single mattress on the floor and a bicycle that I bought myself with my first earnings so I could go to work two cities over from where I lived. Although I had little, the feeling of scarcity left because I felt empowered to earn my own money.

At 22 years of age I decided to come to the United States to learn English. I had lived in a furnished studio and my possessions consisted of my car and a few dishes and silverware. I sold my car and gave my dishes and silverware to my Mom, who still uses them today. I came to the United States with a suitcase to start a job as a nanny earning $400 per month. It was one of my happiest times.

Another 10 years later when I was 32 (are you getting the 10-year cycle drift?), I was very sick with an unexplainable illness that cost me two jobs and left me unemployed and sick for a total of four years. I was married with a 2 year old and a husband, together we owned a house. We were on the brink of losing everything. One of the first things that I gave up was my $55 gym membership. After four full years of being sick, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I was left with a mountain of debt, a body that was as unhealthy as it ever was, a fragmented marriage and many choices to make.

Today, another 10 years later I am yet at another place in my life where I have lost everything, except the most precious things on which no value can be placed. Although single today, my daughter and I have each other. I have my health. And unlike the previous time when I lost everything, the one thing I decided to hold on to is my $55 gym membership. It has been my saving grace and a true blessing in disguise. I work out 5-6 days a week and I value exercising my body as the true blessed privilege it is. Having been at the point of death I truly know how to appreciate my health and my body and I know that I can push forward and eventually will come out of this pit too.

I am literally rebuilding my life from the ground up. What’s different this time than the previous four times is the wisdom I have been able to draw from. This is by far one of the hardest lessons I have to go through and yet it is also one of the happiest times of my life. I feel honored to walk through valleys of shadows knowing that I will get out from under this one too. And if there is one thing that shines brighter than anything else, it is the wisdom that all we need is the attentive moment of the here and now. We need time. Time is the best we can give to anyone. Whether it is an infant child who doesn’t know yet what life is all about or the person in prison for life. We all need someone’s attentive time and the silent knowledge that someone cares.

Can a dollar value be placed on true caring, attentiveness, and time? I am learning to give time first and foremost and all my needs and desires are being met.

My readers, I want to encourage you not to give up when you feel like you’ve reached the end of the rope. There is an end to all valleys. There is a time for renewal and new blessings.

As always it’s an honor to be a part of your journey, no matter where you are in life.

What’s a Woman To Do?

2008-03-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

A woman tells me her story. She is originally from England and came to the US temporarily to do some business. Her maximum stay was anticipated to be approximately 2 years. This was in 1998. Today she still lives here, is married and has two children, a five year old boy and a toddler girl.

She confessed that although she loved the San Francisco Bay Area, she really wanted to go back to England at some point, but her falling in love changed all of her life plans.

I can sympathize, because I had a similar story happen to me. I too came here to learn English with every intention to go back to my home country, when I too fell in love. This was 19 years ago and I’m still here.

Back to this woman. She told me that it was their plan to one day move to England and raise their children there. Now that their son is five and old enough to go to school, her husband changed her mind and he doesn’t want to leave the US any longer.

What is she to do?

She feels as though her spirit is breaking because their agreement was clear: that they would move to England when their child was old enough to go to school. His change of mind puts a dent in their agreement, and threatens to tear the fabric of their marriage apart.

Is she supposed to take their children and just move on and out of the US and go back to England without him? Or should she continue trying to convince him that moving to England would be good for all of them and that after all they made an agreement? Is she supposed to divorce him for not keeping her promise? Is she supposed to swallow her dream and anticipation to move back to her own country for the sake of their marriage and their children? What level of compromising is too much and what is not enough? Is compromising even a word that belong into the holy union of a true marriage?

These are technicalities and mechanics that can throw a marriage off and they will work themselves out sooner or later. What’s really hurting all of them here is the distrust that is being caused by the change of minds and expectations of each partner.

As with every “cause” there are always multiple ripple “effects” and long after the cause has been forgotten, we are busy fighting the effects. And effects are always outside and can never be fought, because the effects stem from the cause, which is always internal.

The effects of this distrust and the change of minds have now caused a huge wedge between her and her husband. He’s surprised that she’s withdrawn and doesn’t want to have sex with him anymore, she’s lost interest in him and she’s disappointed that he’s letting her and the children down by going back on his promise. He’s upset that she would be “like that” since now he has a good job and they have a house and live the “American Dream” (whatever that is) and he doesn’t want to give it up to go live in a country that is not his own.

She told me that although he’s not cheating on her, he has started to flirt with other married women on the Internet and she too has been eye balling man-candy at the fitness center where she works out. He’s started to drink more beer and watch more TV. They’re both depressed and they both feel stuck and now what originally seemed like a union made in heaven is revealing itself to be a golden cage and they both feel trapped.

Now let’s dissect this a little further. Let’s assume they both end up cheating on each other because they no longer get their needs met at home, will this accomplish the original agreement, which is to move the family to England? Of course not! But not only will it not accomplish the original dream, it will create new baggage of turmoil, not only for them, but also for the children. In the end they will hate each other, and go through an ugly divorce which will affect the children the most, as is usually the case.

So what’s the perfect solution to this seemingly big problem? How will they handle these marriage “hick-ups” or has their marriage really never had a chance and this is just the inevitable taking place?

Again, I’m not a counselor or a therapist and I did not make any recommendations to her. When people ask me what I think they should do I usually tend to turn their own question back to them because I believe that we each have all the answers to the challenges in our own lives. Sometimes our lives are just so clouded that we can’t see through chaos and we feel that others “out there” know the answers for our own lives. This is not correct and I would never want to tell a person what I think they should do.

So all I could do was paint futuristic pictures for her by asking her what it would look like if she did this or that. After a few minutes of “seeing” where her marriage is going depending on which steps she would take she said: “It looks like I’m heading for divorce.”

We make agreements all the time, and we break them more often than not. Not because we’re bad people, simply because life changes, circumstances change and we as a people change. It’s difficult to put someone or ourselves into a box and say: “This is who I am and this is who I will be forever.” We are a people of BECOMING and with it comes change, expansion, some shrinkage and then we expand and grow again. To force someone into a box that we designed for them is cruel and unloving. Even if this is a box that we designed for ourselves.

Be free, be honest, be authentic, be real and grow and expand!

What’s a Man To Do?

2008-03-18T08:43:00.001-07:00

Imagine this story. A young, handsome teenage boy turns into a young man, enjoying life, women and his sexuality. He can’t get enough of it, takes every opportunity he has to be with another woman and often “lines up” the next one before he “dumps” the current one. Soon he approaches his 30s and the drive to have a family arises and with it the wish to get married, to stay faithful, to have a family and a true partner for life.

He finds her, this partner for life, they get married and they have two boys. They buy a house and the dog, of course, and all seems dandy. She’s a stay-home mom while he’s out working and earning the bacon. He’s happy, she’s happy – at least at the forefront. He’s a really handsome guy and gets offers to be with other women left and right, and he graciously declines. After all, he’s found his life partner. She too is a beautiful, tall woman, not bad to look at and she too gets hit on by men on a frequent basis. To no avail, because she too has found her life partner and they now have a family to raise.

On the trot through life, every day pretty much looks like the previous one. He goes to work while she stays home with the two little boys. All is well, at least for a while. The boys are getting to be Kindgarten age now and the daily routine the way they used to know it is shifting just a tad bit. He’s still off to work every day, she’s still the stay-home Mom.

One day I ask him how his life is going and he said: “Everything’s going great except I’m frustrated with my job. I want to do more with my life and I want to build my own product, but my wife is a stay-home Mom and I can’t really afford leaving work and getting a pay cut while I am off inventing my product. And money is too tight for me to put anything else aside. So life overall is good, our marriage is great, the kids are great, I’m just frustrated professionally.”

This was 4 years ago. Yes, this is a true story.

I specifically remember feeling compassion for this man because I know better when I hear “everything’s great EXCEPT…” Anytime you hear the “except” word all it really means is that EVERYTHING is out of order, it only shows up in one area. If the Universe or Life or God would show us all the things that need to change in our life, all at the same time, we would have a heart attack and die. So we’re giving little bites to chew on. These “little flags” are here to wave at us and they’re yelling: “Hey, I’m not okay in here, do something about it!” And yet we dismiss it as “everything’s okay, EXCEPT this one little thing over here.”

So 4 years pass and I ran into this gentleman perhaps 2 or 3 times over the past year. I just saw him again and he seemed to have lost a lot of weight. I stopped him and we talked.

Over the past year he has been trying to continue working on his business idea while keeping the same job. His wife continued being a stay-home Mom and money continued to be tight, even tighter, because the boys are getting bigger. Last year they discovered that one of their little boys was not quite developing the way he should have. He wasn’t talking, his balance was off, many things worried them and he was tested for a terminal disease. They found out that he had some physical handicaps that would affect him and them for the rest of their lives.

The wife snapped.

Suddenly she went on a rampage telling her husband that it’s all his fault and that he wasn’t making enough money and that he should be the provider and on and on she went. The way she is dealing with all of these issues that life is dealing them is by hanging out with the wrong crowd, going out partying in the middle of the week, coming home at 3 a.m. or not coming home at all. She doesn’t love him anymore and now she wants a divorce because “it’s all his fault for not making enough money.” However, there is no money for her to move out and get her own place because she’s been taken care of since she was 21 years old.

He reacts to this by going to counseling, trying to find out where he went wrong and how he can stick in there with her while she’s going through this rough time. He lost 35 pounds because he’s been too stressed. While she’s out partying and disappears all weekend, he’s working and then taking care of his two boys full time. He’s desperately trying to hold on to the house and continue paying for the mortgage on his own, but it’s getting tougher.

And needless to say, their sex life has been non existent for almost a year.

When is Enough enough?

I was not in the exact same position in my marriage, but my husband and I certainly went through our financial troubles and we certainly experienced strain in every department of our lives. And yes, we didn’t have sex for 8 months, the next year for 6 months, and so on. Everyone seems to experience this droughts at some point in their life and their marriage. The question is, what can be done? What should be done? What are they going to do? And what about the children who are caught in the middle?

You, my reader, are on your own evolutionary journey and you have chosen to be in this body living your current life, on purpose. The question is: Are you living your life to the fullest? Are you truly wanting to do with your life what you have come to do? Are you sacrificing your Life and your Self for some myth just so you can fit into someone else’s box and say “I did it!” when it’s all said and done? Who are you? And who are you living your life for if not for you?

This man saw the warning signs 4 years ago but remember, all was well except the job thing. No, not all was well, everything was out of order back then, it only showed up in one area because it would have been easier to deal with one area than to now swallow this entire elephant at once.

Four years ago he had to deal with this:

• Marriage: great
• Wife: great
• Sex Life: great
• Health: great
• Children: great
• Self: great
• Job: needs improvement

Four years later here is what it looks like:

• Marriage: hanging on a thread
• Wife: miserable, partying, losing herself, perhaps cheating on husband
• Sex Life: non existent
• Health: not good, lost 35 pounds because of stress
• Children: under way too much pressure, missing their Mom
• Self: questioning Self, wondering what happened, in counseling looking for answers
• Job: still needs improvement but is now shoved to the end of the line because of all the other more important things

We all live a picture similar to the above example, only the bullet points are different. If you were to take a snap shot of your life today in the same way, you would see that your life too has areas that are out of balance. You can predict very easily what your life is going to look like 4 years from today, or 10 years from today, if you do not take care of those out-of-balance areas right now.

Don’t delay – please don’t put yourself in a box pretending that “all is well” when in fact Life is calling you to grow and change.

Much love and strength and passion to continue on your path to freedom!

How To Resurrect Desire

2008-03-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

First, let’s talk about what kinds of desires there are. When I walked up to the church where I was asked to give this sermon, the church bulletin outside for all to see said “Desire.” I said a silent “oh, oh” to myself, because the word by itself can mean a lot of things. My instructions, however, were to come up with a sermon on how to RESURRECT desire (implying that it must be dead or healf-dead first).

The congregation was pleased when I summed up the desires, because in essence the little flame of desire, no matter what desire we are talking about, burns in everyone.

Here is just a partial list of desires that we can experience in our life time.

- Desire to be healthy
- Desire to get married or find the love of your life
- Desire to have children
- Desire to get rich
- Desire to have true friends
- Desire to pray
- Desire to achieve something
- Desire to have sex or share oneself with our partner
- Desire to leave a legacy behind
- Desire to live
- Desire to love God, Life, the Universe, whatever you call it

Often we lose the desires for these experiences, due to other experiences that threaten to snuff out our light. I had to go inward myself and remember the first time I had a burning desire and remember the intricate details of what caused this desire to burn until the fire had to be quenched by its exact replica on the outside world. It was when I was 4 years old. I never forget the moment when my parents took my sister and I on a Sunday stroll in Switzerland, along a gravel country path heading towards the farm next to us. There it was – the most beautiful, powerful, magnificent, majestic, elegant, 4-legged thing I had ever seen! I remember thinking to myself: “This must be God in the flesh.”

They were two horses coming towards us. I had never seen such an animal and yet one desire immediately flared up within me: the desire to sit on one of these animals. I was too young and the riders of course wouldn’t allow me to sit on one of their beautiful horses. My mother told me that when I was old enough to make my own phone call to a horse back riding stable and find out how much lessons cost, she would pay for a horseback riding lesson. I didn’t read yet but I was determined. The passion and desire within me was burning stronger and stronger. I got my hands on horse books and drew horses all day long. We had binoculars and from our place I could see the horse back riders along the edge of the forest along the horizon. I just had to ride one of these majestic animals soon.

I was 5 years old when I was able to make the entire call by myself. The lesson cost about five US dollars per hour back then. I don’t remember sleeping the night before my first lesson.

Once I was sitting on this amazing animal, a new desire was born within me, the desire to one day own my own horse. I started to work at the horseback riding stable for free, cleaning horses, picking up horse poop, sweeping the floors, cleaning the saddles, anything just to be around the horses.

Ten years later my mother bought me a 1-year old horse that I couldn’t even ride yet, but I was the happiest girl in the world.

We have been taught that the kingdom of God is within and that the it belongs to little children and that unless we become like little children we can not enter the kingdom of God. At first blush this seems like a contradiction. If the kingdom is already within me, then why do I need to enter it in the first place? And why is it not all children but only LITTLE children?

Anyone who has children knows that there is a huge difference between a 3-4 year old and a 8-9 year old! We are told to become like little children. From my own memories of childhood I know that I forgave easily when I was that little. I remember going into what my mother called room arrest for seemingly hours. Yet the moment she closed that door I was in my own “kingdom” and was happy as a clam not even remembering why I was there in the first place. Today when we get in trouble, mostly because of our own doing, we mope around a sad face for days, weeks, months, even years; and it shows in every face on our elderly generation.

A Proverb says that “a happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” (15:13)

Yet how many of us, including myself, let heartache crush our spirit more than once, and worse, we hold on to the pain for dear life. Why? For what?

So a journey began for me a couple of weeks ago, one to remember my happiest moments in life as a child, going back and studying the moments that robbed my desire to live, even as a child. And remembering the happy times when I was blissfully joyful and nothing could pull me from the kingdom within.

And I have learned that there are 3 key things that steal our desires:

1. Holding a record of wrong and harboring unkindness towards others

2. Stopping the growth process, stop living, mediocrity

3. Stop believing that we are indeed here for a greater purpose

The question is, once this desire for life and love seems to have disappeared or been robbed from us, how do we resurrect our desires?

1. Bless and love our enemies and let go of the record of wrongs

2. Realizing that little children change faster than a lightening bolt, they constantly grow, they literally live in the moment as if tomorrow didn’t exist. They forget sorrow quickly and they never hold a record of wrong, they forgive in a flash without reasoning through the “ifs, whats, and buts.” If we can become like a little child and grow and change frequently, never staying stagnant, then we will hear the desires burning within us once again.

3. Find the one thing that you would do for free, when you do it you are lost in time; your are guided by spirit

Out of these 3 the first one is probably the most difficult one to achieve. It’s not an achievement, it’s a journey, it never ends. Just when you think you have forgiven all the people that have hurt you in the past, there will be another person to put on that list so you can pray for them, bless them and love them.

I am currently working on a prayer that I am writing for myself that I intend on reading over and over again several times throughout the day, with the focus to bless my enemies and wish them only the best of the best. When I have it, I will share it with everyone so you too can move on in loving rays of sunlight with only the best wishes for others in your heart.

Much love to everyone today and in this very moment…

When The Going Gets Tough

2008-03-08T19:00:00.000-08:00

This has been a most difficult week for me and my daughter. We experienced a lot of tension and we fought and disagreed almost the entire week. She ended up spending the night at her auntie’s place and after dropping her off I came home and cried, and cried, and cried some more. It was one of those weeks that was just difficult. No, no one died that I personally knew. I just didn’t have anything in me to write about, at least not seemingly.

And yet I was asked to give another sermon at a Unity Church tomorrow and you would never guess the topic: “Resurrecting Desire.”

Urgh! Just when I feel like putting my head in the sand and forgetting about the fact that I’m alive. I was looking and searching and asking for answers, but nothing came to mind, at least not much that made any sense. And the more I searched for material, the more tense I seemed to get. Do you ever feel like you are just stuck in a black hole type of vortex that you can’t seem to get out of? Kind of like a nightmare that you want to wake up from so desperately? That’s exactly what I’ve been feeling like this week.

I’m still coming out of it and I’m still working on my sermon, and as I meditate and let it come to me, I know I’ll be fine. I always am.

What helped me tremendously this morning was sitting on my meditation pillow facing East right when it started to get light. The few sprinkled clouds on the horizon that at first were black, turned white and then bright orange as the sun started to come up more and more. Then it all turns “normal” and the gorgeous and brilliant colors disappear. I sat there for a minute and enjoyed the brightness when the sun started to appear from behind the mountain. I closed my eyes and let the rays warm my face when I realized that I had been harboring all this anger and frustration and disappointment inside of me this week about these things that are not going as I want them to go these days. I was in particular upset with a few key people when I realized that the rays of this sun will hit those people and warm their skin as much as mine and provide light to them as much as to me. Suddenly I felt “ugly” inside for holding so much bitterness and “poor me” attitudes towards these people that are getting the same benefits from nature that I do.

And suddenly I was able to see that although the sun and the moon and the rain do their job for everyone on this planet, the good and the bad, it is not for me to judge who or what is good and bad; especially not since I have done some things myself that are not worthy to be shouted from any roof tops. I was able to let them go and wish them well.

And then the real challenge came. I know that in addition to let them go in peace, we are to also bless our enemies and pray for them and to wish them well and even help them if they ask us to. Ah, do I really have to go there now!? Can’t I just let them go in peace? Must I? Really, must I also bless them and wish them only the best and even help them?

So that is where I am now. Mustering up the heart and the love to wish my enemies well and to bless them with my kindness. I’m in the transmutation process, if that makes any sense. While I have made the decision to send kindness and love only, doing it and feeling it and meaning it takes a little extra time, I find.

So here is my sermon material for tomorrow. Why do we get to a place where we lose our desires? Whether it is our desire to live or our desire to be healthy or in love? What exactly is it that robs us of our desire to only want what’s best for us and others? How do we get into these black holes that seem to suck the life out of us?

I can’t answer for anyone else but me; and what I see for myself is that what robs my desire the most is when I get bogged down by anger, depression, frustration, irritability, lack of patience or kindness towards another living being. Being frustrated or angry at anything or anyone only hurts me.

I’m learning to go within, the desires have never left me, they have never left you – they are merely covered up and blocked by the “ugliness” of our own selfish ambitions. And rest assured, there is a karmic law that goes beyond our natural laws, and karmic law affects all of us, just like our sun does. It is indeed not mine to avenge but God’s.

Much love to everyone.

When We Experience Loss

2008-02-29T08:56:00.000-08:00

Today is a rather “sad” day for me because I am watching my almost 15-year old daughter work her way through yet another loss of her friends.

When I was 15 I had to deal with parents or teachers that upset me and perhaps the pimples in my face. Never in my life would I have thought that my own 15 year old child at this stage in life would be forced to deal with so many losses.

One of her friends went to visit his cousin this past weekend when he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time – he was killed in a drive-by shooting.

A few months ago another one of her friends went to a family reunion where she laid down on a pillow in one of the rooms. A gun underneath the pillow went off and killed her instantly.

The tragedies go on for my daughter, they have been simply too numerous over the past few years, yet I don’t want to depress you.

So today is a day I spend in silence and reflection, going over the losses my daughter has experienced to date, learning from this, reflecting, meditating, finding and eminating peace.

I know she is not the exception to losses, many people lose friends all the time. The older we get the more friends and family members we lose, and soon we know for certain that we indeed are anything but invincible.

The world is so stressed out that we have forgotten what it means to be at peace. We lost electricity a couple of times this winter season and it was such a blessing to me. There was no humming in the house anywhere, everything was off and quiet. My teenager, however, was without a cell phone, without TV or computer or telephone, and the world seemed to have fallen apart for her after a couple of days without access to the outside world. Those used to be my most blessed days when I was a teenager. Besides, we didn’t have cell phones or laptops and TV watching was monitored heavily.

How many of adults today can’t go anywhere without their cell phones on? How many of adults today can’t go a week without watching TV or reading the newspaper without feeling like you’re losing it? Yet how many of you remember the last time you spent an entire day in absolute silence, without talking to anyone all day long, simply listening to Mother Nature and your inner Self?

Today, take a breather. It’s Friday – go home early. Relax. Spend your time alone out in nature with the peace only nature can bring out from within you. Let her whisper to you the wisdom of the olden days; Mother Nature hasn’t forgotten; she talks of it all the time in the gentle swaying of the wind ruffling through the many flowers, trers and bushes around you. Listen to her and find peace today and know that you are the most special Being of all.

Peace and love don’t come to you, they come from within you and spread out towards your horizon.

When The Heart Seems to Break and Our Body is Red Flagging Us

2008-02-28T08:34:00.000-08:00

My neck has been hurting for a few days and last night I was having a difficult time sleeping and couldn’t find the right position for my neck. I had ignored it on the first day and “blamed it” on my having talked on the telephone while holding the phone between my shoulder and ear. Thinking that it would go away after a day of good stretching at the gym, it actually has gotten worse. Yesterday I finally took the time to sit down and meditate about it. Why was I stiff-necked? What did I have my blinders on for? Whose side did I not want to see? After all, our necks are for us to turn our heads so we can see in all directions.

As I took inventory of the past two weeks, I realized that I had been more and more tense and irritable and it showed in the way I dealt with my daughter. She seemed to have found some extra buttons I didn’t know I had, and she pushed them like a little 2 year old that just found a treasure.

But there was something else. Something that takes courage to be open about, at least for me.

Two weeks ago a gentleman asked for my phone number. Over the past year I had hoped he would ask for my number, and he finally did (patience is a virtue after all).

Something was wrong though, I couldn’t put my finger on it. As soon as I walked away I felt something not being right. Do you ever get this feeling? I tried to brush it off and go with the flow of life and “wait and see” what happens. After he didn’t call me for 4 days, I decided to listen to my intuition and find out what this feeling was about. I asked him why he asked me for my phone number and besides assuring me that he will definitely call, he also told me that he was “kind’a seeing someone” but that it’s “coming towards the end.”

(I’m backup plan B for this guy!?)

There it was! My intuition was hinting at something, even though I had to find out for myself what it was (or I could have chosen to ignore it and just wait).

I had a choice to make. Did I want to go with my emotional and physical feelings and “wait” for this guy to get his act together, or did I want to stick up for myself and forget about him (see previous post on sticking up for ourselves)? I decided that neither is really necessary or applicable.

When building specs ask for a 4x4 post, any building contractor will use a 4x4 post. The strongest point of a 4x4 is in the center. If he were to use two 2x4s put together, he would find a center that is hallow, empty, and weak. Just like this relationship would have been. He is a “square peg in the round hole” – something neither of us would have been happy with, and heart ache would have been the end result.

Am I still attracted to this guy? Absolutely, I was a year ago. And for over a year I have been wondering “what if.” Now the wondering is over, now I know. Although he may have wondered why I was riding him so hard about not calling, I had nothing to lose and only time and honor to gain. I was divinely blessed to find out right away, before my heart got involved too much and before I gave something away that I could never take back.

So yes, I’m a bit sad, but mostly I’m curious as to why I attracted an unavailable guy. If Lao Russell’s words are true when she says: “The whole universe is a mirror which reflects back to us that which we first reflect forward into it,” then my work here is not done. In fact, it may have just begun. It’s obvious from my neck pain and until I am getting this lesson figured out my body will continue to “flag me” down.

So when your body is talking to you even if in the slightest way, try not to dismiss it. Listen to it, take your time and sit with it, ask it to tell you what’s up. And it will, your body is your greatest friend, an assembly of symbols and mechanical extensions that act up when they’re not at ultimate peace within your higher self.

Life is an amazing journey and I hope you feel as blessed as I am to be a part of the greater divine plan.

May rays of sunshine brighten your path and your face today so you can glow and radiate!

Abundance - Letting Go and Starting Over - Counting The Cost

2008-02-25T14:27:00.000-08:00

I feel so blessed to have been asked to teach sermons at New Thought Churches and have started to record them to encourage others like you as well. I am not a religious person and would not consider myself "belonging" to any denomination other than the devotion to the overall great divine plan, of which we are all part of. I am fascinated with the science of the mind, and undoubtedly the great divine is even better understood if one understands the science of our marvelous minds.

The lessons are non-threatening and non-religious, although I do list scriptures that are referred to in a way so everyone can relate.

The first CD with 3 lessons is now available. Each lesson is approximately 20-25 minutes long for a total of approximately 1 hour. The CD features the following lessons:

1: Abundance
2: Letting Go and Starting Over
3: Counting The Cost

You can purchse the CD now for only $15 by clicking the PayPal button to the right below my picture.

What About Sex?

2008-02-24T16:37:00.000-08:00

There are a few things most people don’t want to talk about. They are: Sex, God, Money, Politics (which inadvertently mixes together the first three).

Let’s talk about the S word (as my daughter would say). There is so much to say about sex, the need for it, the origin of it, its past and its future, its actual purpose (depending on whom you ask) and what can and cannot be accomplished with it. We can look at sex as the merging of feminine and masculine, a physical act for the reasons to procreate (instinct), a release of energy, obtainment of energy from the other partner, a primal means to calm down, a cleansing ritual, the “coming home” to a blissful state, recharging ones batteries, arriving at heaven for a moment of rest, and so on. Depending on whom we talk to, we’ll get as many different opinions about the need for sex and what happens during sex as there are people on this planet. No one is right and no one is wrong. We’re all on our own journey and what may seem wrong to me may be a way for someone else to survive.

A great book to read is Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins. Growing up I used to judge people who smoke, drink or do drugs. Because that is what I grew up with and I saw the effect on the surrounding world. I was born having difficulties breathing because my parents both smoked and my mother smoked when she was pregnant with me. My father was an alcoholic and I saw him screw up his relationship with my mother (I’m sure she had her part in the break-up too). Sex became bad because my Dad cheated on my Mom and ended up leaving us for “the other woman.” Soon I came to view all of “it” as bad, as unnecessary, as evil and as a nuisance. It was my journey and needless to say if I ever would get married it would have to be to a man who didn’t want sex from me. Good luck! Like that was going to happen. Dr. Hawkins book really helped me understand why people do what they do, without the need to judge anyone.

Once I was divorced I went on a journey to find out what sex really meant to both men and women. I came across Nancy Fiday’s books, which helped me tremendously in understanding the human species. Animals don’t have a choice in mating or not mating, they are ruled by instinct and are primal, pro-creation and survival is there number one concern. Humans do have free will and we make a conscious choice, something an animal cannot do. Still, so much is happening as two people merge their bodies together to becoming one. Just like any battery has a + and a – part of the energetic pole, once activated the battery is capable to charge a piece of equipment up. Similarly, when a + male and a – female merge their bodies, they undoubtedly create “something.” When a battery is being used or charged up there is only energy oscillating between the + and – parts of the battery. Unfortunately when two human batteries comes together to merge and create energy, worlds are created (or destroyed). It’s not just a physical energy exchange, the merging is manifesting so much more with consequences that most people don’t want to know or hear about; if people could just see the spirals and vortexes and funnels that are emanating from them and merging with the other person to forever be implanted into the universal soil called ether, to one day create something very powerful (or very destructive).

Little do people know that once they merge with another person on a physical level and funnels and vortexes and spirals have been exchanged, they will forever take that person’s energy with them and be influenced by them. It’s like taking white play dough and mixing it with green play dough and then trying to separate the two, it’s an impossibility. Or putting a drop of ink into a glass of clear water, and then trying to take the drop of ink out of the water that is now tainted.

The more impressive part that most people don’t know about or even imagine that every exchange with another human being is a form of sex exchange. It doesn’t have to be in a romantic way, but in an energetic way. The moment two people lock their eyes together, whether during a conversation or while passing a stranger on the street, both people are constantly “shooting” spirals, vortexes and funnels out into the universe. It’s our essence that we project to the world. When we lock eyes we lock energies with the other person and instantly take a piece of their energy and give them ours. The Sanskrits believe that as soon as a woman sleeps with a man she takes on his entire karma. I happen to believe the same goes for men too. Most people’s energy I frankly don’t care to carry with me. I just am not strong enough to take on other people’s karma, I have enough of my own to work through. And unless the other person’s energy can help me work through my karma I’d rather not pack more unnecessary life times on top of this one.

So why is this such a big deal?

Over the past few years I have been a landing place for friends and clients to listen and help them see a part of their existence that can’t be viewed with our regular human eyes. Over the years I started to make a connection to a person’s personal power level and the number of physical partners they have had in their life. This may sound strange, however, what I found is that the more partners anyone had (man or woman) the more “watered down their soul” had become and they had started to lose a piece of their essence. It’s as if every time they had sex with someone they gave the other person a piece of their soul to keep forever. When the relationship or event was over the piece(s) they had given away could not be recovered. I also saw that the more partners someone had, the more they wanted to expand their “territory” and the more “free” they became to be with eve more people. It is a false freedom, however. One that comes at the cost of their own authenticity and may cause a person to go back in line to start their own evolutionary journey once again. For what, I ask.

A person I have known for almost two decades chose to sleep with as many women as he could, he always has, he still does; hundreds of them, perhaps even thousands of them. Today that he is in his 40s he’s realizing that he will never be able to regain the innocence that can only come from having all the pieces to his soul. He’s lost, he doesn’t know anymore what he wants. Women still throw themselves at him, but only because they’ve been sexually frustrated for so long, he spells their sexual freedom, something they perhaps have never experienced. Yet none of them want to stay, not one would ever want to have someone “like him” to be at their side. He’s good “for one thing.” He’s chasing through women constantly looking for the next one, constantly proving his self-fulfilling prophecy that proves that women are only here for one thing: to be used and then tossed to the curb. He has an amazing charm and at first blush really seems to know what women want. But a deeper look into his lonely soul proves otherwise, as do his eyes. The sad part is that he’s looking for an “innocent” woman who hasn’t been around the block as often as he has. Yet how can he ask of the Universe to deliver him Cinderella when he himself doesn’t live like this even to this day?

Just over the past two months I had two friends approach me who both got married young. One got married around 19, the other around 25. Both had slept with “only” 5 women. They are in their 30s now and they are longing for a temporary change and temptation for both of them from the other women is difficult to withstand. They both love their wives, they have children by them and they are committed to staying faithful. If they could just go out and dabble with other women a few times….to kick off those horns, sow the wild oats, to get some more adventure – whatever all these expressions are. What neither of them understand is that one of the reasons they are so irresistible to other women is because of their lack of experience. It’s because they still own their own power, they haven’t given it away, they haven’t slept around, neither of them ever had a one-night stand. Women being the intuitive beings they are can sense that from 10 miles away and such men become the irresistible magnets. Although women love a man who can show them a thing or two in the bedroom, a man who has the kind of power that can come from a strong and pure soul is rare and every woman intuitively wants to merge with that power, by means of physical exchange.

Will they be able to stay faithful to their wives? It’s not for me to predict. I can tell you that if they are both hydrogen and they both married their equivalent parts of oxygen and their marriage equilibrium is water, they will make it without a doubt. What concerns me is that they still long for other oxygen…When hydrogen and oxygen merge, water is the merging’s inevitable result. When two people merge that are truly meant to be together, it will show in evidence in what they create for this world. If there is no evidence, then perhaps the chemistry is lacking to produce that miracle that we all need.

So what? You’ve discovered that your partner is indeed not your matching hydrogen or not your matching oxygen. But you’ve said: “Until Death Do Us Part” and perhaps you even have created children that now count on you. What should you do? I can’t tell you what you “should” do. In fact, I have for the most part eradicated that word out of my dictionary. Remember, this is your journey and there is no should or should-nots. It all depends on what you have come here to create. Why are you here on planet earth? Is your partner’s purpose in alignment with yours and yours with hers? Remember it is life-sustaining and nurturing water you are here to create. If you’re just trotting along next to this person’s life while creating absolutely nothing useful for not only you, but also nothing useful for your child(ren) and even less for the planet, then what are you really doing here? Read “The Greatest Miracle In The World” by Og Mandino. You have a magnificent purpose here on this planet. You are unique as is your partner. No one can take your job, your position, your spouse who is your true oxygen or your true hydrogen, and no one can replace your true purpose here on this planet. The question is, are you about your true purpose yet? Or are you just fiddling around wasting time until the next life time?

When I “got this” once and for all I realized that I could stick it out with a man I was never supposed to be with in the first place or I could leave us in peace and become about my purpose and give him the chance so he too can become about his purpose. I’m not directly responsible for his journey and the decisions he makes, but I am directly responsible for mine and indirectly responsible for everyone else's, including his. However, I can only take responsibility for myself and others if I am first living the free life that I have truly come to live, I am responsible to lead by example. I also am responsible to be a role model to my daughter and to show her that settling for anything less than her purpose and the man who is her exact hydrogen counter part will prove to be futile with only heart ache in sight. She’s almost 15 and she’s already beginning to get it. The moment she sees that she wishes something was different about this other person, is the moment she realizes she is dealing with "a square peg" that she's trying to fit into a round hole. It doesn't work, it never will. I was courageous and loved my husband enough to set him free. This was over 4 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did for everyone involved. Especially this planet and humanity as a whole.

The world is waiting for you!

Stressed Out? Try This At Home…

2008-02-21T10:35:00.000-08:00

No matter your current stress level, simple meditations is a cure-all for just about anything. Hold on a minute, before you log off or bypass this message because you think you’ve heard it all or tried it and it doesn’t work for you, give this another shot. Here is why.

An old Buddhist proverb says that on a regular day we ought to meditate 1 hour a day; on a stressful day we ought to meditate 2 hours a day. What a paradox – what contradiction! “How can I take 2 hours out of the day just to sit around doing “nothing” when I don’t even have 1 hour to spare?” you might ask yourself.

Let’s look at it from another angle. People who give 10% of their earnings back to “God,” whatever God is to them, report that somehow the remaining 90% seems to go farther. They can’t figure it out because when you take out a calculator and deduct 10% of your income, 10% can be quite a big chunk of money and obviously 90% of your paycheck is less than 100%. However, in real life 90% of your paycheck can actually go farther than 100% of your paycheck. You may ask how can you live on 90% when you can barely make it on 100%? Yet somehow these people say that their time is filled with blessings and miracles and they always have left over funds at the end of the month, even though they have given away 10%. As soon as they stop tithing the 100% they do earn seems to be short each month. How could this be since this seems to be a simple matter of math? It doesn’t make any sense.

You hold the key to your own inner castle, your own inner kingdom of heaven - it's there, it really is!

Yet going out on faith suddenly the energy that we create by trusting that the 90% will go farther than the 100% ever would, we realize that we suddenly get things for free that otherwise would have cost something. People do us favors instead of charging us. We come upon an unexpected sale that gives us twice the amount of food or the same amount of food at half the price. Suddenly we receive a refund in the mail, completely unexpected or someone sends us cash. And on and on the miracles continue.
The same thing happens with time when we meditate. Somehow the 24 hours each of us get seems to go much farther to those that take time to meditate in silence. Not only does it seem like time becomes irrelevant when we meditate, but it seems as though we float through space and time, neither of which exist in reality. We have become human doings, and have moved away from the status of being. Yet we are human beings, not human doings. We find our peace within when we are in the moment, when we stop controlling the outside world and become its observer. When we are at peace with what’s going on “out there” and only pay attention to what’s going on “in here.” In order for the “in here” to be at peace, however, we need to first get to that place of “within” and create a home of peace in the innermost parts. Peace that can only be attained through silence and reflection and complete detachment from ones self. And when we can achieve this kind of peace then our stress level goes down, our bodies calm down, our higher self can relax and comes forward to speak loudly and clearly to us, giving us more guidance on how to get things done in half the time. Things we got worked up over suddenly seem to have been taken care of on its own.

Meditation has been a life saver for me, in the truest sense. As we go along, I will gladly share some methods that have worked for me in calming down my mind’s chatter and become best friends with that loud and bickering ego of mine.

Asking for What We Want – And Getting It!

2008-02-16T09:51:00.000-08:00

The older I get the more I realize and witness over and over in not only myself, but also in my clients and my readers, that we always get what we ask for. “But!” you may object, “I didn’t ask for this lousy relationship,” or “I didn’t ask to be sick.” No one asks for these things. No one ever gets up and says: “Ah, what a gorgeous day, today I would like to get sick and attract the ultimate loser today.”

Answer this: Does anyone ask and focus and meditate about living happy and healthy lives well into our golden years?

I bet the answer for almost everyone is “no.” Because those things are expected, it’s wishful thinking, we go about life one day at a time, perhaps planning on paper, but never really visualizing the blessed life that we truly want to live.

Tomorrow is my Dad’s 63rd birthday. It may well be his last. In fact, it’s surprising that he’s made it this far. Four of his sisters died long before they ever reached his age. All died of lung cancer within a 2-year period. It’s his turn next…

When I was 10 he started a secret affair with his secretary who was only 17 at that time. My mother got wind of it through various excuses that didn’t add up anymore, two years later she confronted him. He moved out and in with his girlfriend. At which time I lost contact with him and my sister who moved in with him. He spent all of his life savings on this now 19-year old girl who left him a year later for a younger man, and just in time before he was low on cash. It broke his heart, he turned to the bottle, lost his job, which forced my sister to drop out of school at the age of 14 to take on a job just so they can meet rent.

My mother too now had to work six days a week, 12 hour days, just to make ends meet. I was asked to pay for my own way, my own clothes, which I bought at Salvation Army, my own food. All she paid for was the roof over my head and my health insurance. I too dropped out of highschool and moved out to be on my own.

I was 12 when he left and hated him for “what he did to us” as a family, in my oblivious teenage heart hate is all I could see. My mother turned to hating men in general, her disappointment about having dedicated her life to this man and us children was met with disappointment, disbelief, loneliness and bitterness that only humans can fabricate within their own hearts and carve into their own faces.

Then again, I remember being puzzled about whether or not I should be angry at my father and men in general for cheating on us or if I should be angry at women for stealing other women’s wives. I decided that it always takes two. At the moldable age of only 12 I decided back then to hate them both. I lost faith and trust in humanity and in the fairy tale that I had envisioned for myself and my future husband.

I promised myself to never get married and to never have children so they would never have to go through what my sister and I had to go through. I could handle life alone, I had lived most of my childhood in abandonment and being left to myself was manageable, although painful. Living with someone in a lie was even more unbearable to me, so I opted to stay single for the rest of my life.

Ten years later I met a man who seemed to defy my view of men and meanwhile my own growing up defied my view of women. I broke my promise (thank Goodness) and said to the Universe: “Okay, if I ever get married and any man would have a chance with me, he would have to be a nice guy who could cook and clean.” My father was not a nice guy, especially not when he drank. He had no idea how to cook an egg sunny side up and didn’t know where the on and off switch was to the vacuum cleaner. He was raised as an only boy with 5 sisters; spoiled rotten and used to being catered to by women. Although I love to serve, serving on that level bordered being a door mat. I was of a different breed and viewed incapable men (and women) as flawed, nothing I wanted to deal with. Judgment on my part? Absolutely.

I ended up marrying that man when I was 25 and I got exactly what I asked for:

- A nice guy
- Who could cook
- And clean

AND, I even got a bonus, he also knew how to sow on a button. I hit the jack pot! So I thought.

What I learned over the years of being married to him was that those four things were all I got. Nothing more, nothing less. While I moved on and changed and grew and expanded and manifested my ambitions into reality, he only had 3 dreams for his life:

1. To get married

2. To have a family

3. To own his own house

He achieved his dream by the time he was 30. And I fulfilled a job description, and empty slot in his life. Amongst the furniture and lamptstands I was perfectly fitting in, just like a trophy. And then what? What comes after having achieved your dreams? Nothing for him; life for me just started.

With much resistance on his part and even more force on my part a tug-and-war started, showered with the love we felt for each other, but with dysfunctional mechanical parts to make the ship sail. He was content at 30 to have achieved everything he ever wanted and put himself on auto-pilot waiting to die a physical death God-only-knows when. I just started to live, but wasn’t able or allowed to sprout or blossom. So while he was waiting “to die” I too started to shrivel up; slowly but surely. One day at a time. Little by little my freedom was stripped from me, by choice, in the name of love. Until one day I found myself on my death bed, willing to succumb to my promise: “Until Death Do Us Part.”

I have learned over and over again, that we always get what we ask for. Whether we ask for little or for much, we always get it, and it never fails!

When it comes to relationships it’s not about making a list of what he looks like, how tall he is and how much money he makes; those are irrelevant and unimportant. If these things are important to you, I wish you good luck because you’re missing the real treasure of true love.

All anyone ever wants is to be loved, desired, respected, supported, acknowledged and needed, with sincerity and authenticity. To fill those needs and desires by a match made in heaven doesn’t come along every day, in fact it doesn’t come along in most of our life times. And all because we’re not even aware of what it is we need and want out of life. We settle for mediocre because all we want is “a nice guy.” We don't dare ask for more out of fear that we ask too much.

This is your life and unlike what most people say: “you only live once,” this life is only one tiny fragment of your eternity and we each live through eternity over and over again, always continuing where we left off. It’s called Karma.

I don’t wish you a good life, I wish you a great and phenomenal life that is filled with blessings and love and peace and power that you bestow upon yourself! Go ask for the sky, the moon and the stars; you may not physically reach them, but you’ll notice before long that you can actually fly…

Why Children Feel The Need To Pull The Trigger

2008-02-15T14:21:00.000-08:00

This is a long post and oh-so worth reading. I get worked up (in a good way) when I hear of children shooting other children or people snapping out of seemingly no where. Then the media is all over it looking for answers when the answers are so clearly in front of us. I hope this post gets published and spread across the world because it is so important that we as adults “get this” once and for all.

I shared a little bit about all the red flags that were being waved at me by the Universe right before I decided to marry my husband. The flags were there, I made a choice to disobey and ignore them. I wanted to get married and nothing and no one was getting in the way of it. And so it was. When our daughter was 2 and she entered the “terrible 2s” we started to get reports from pre-school that she was showing more and more signs of anger. She bit or hit other children seemingly out of the blue. We were advised to get her psychiatrically evaluated. We did. It was recommended that we would put her on Ritalin to see if there would be a change in her. The doctor said that if she did not have ADD or ADHD and she didn’t need the medication that she would not display any changes. However, if her behavior changed and she became less angry in her physical outbursts, then she would need the medication.

Here was my response: “Over my dead body will I give this child medication just to make her more manageable to adults who instead need to learn how to deal with children going through their two’s. Perhaps you should go on medication for even making such a recommendation.”

It was the first major division that my husband and I experienced in our marriage. I had lost faith in Western medicine a long time ago and rarely believed anything a Western doctor told me, let alone stuffing my child on medicine so she would become a Zombie. He on the other hand was a “Yes, Doctor, whatever you say” type of man.

My daughter is almost 15 today and not once did we give her any medicines; she is doing great in school, knows herself very well and has no problems sticking up for herself and others; we switched to another pre-school when she was 2 and I became a stay-home mom. Yes, it came with a huge financial change because I was the main bread-winner – but honestly, can money be put in the same pot as our children? All children need and want is TIME, (isn't that all men and women want in their relationships as well?) and there is no price tag attached to time. In fact, every parent gets 24 hours with their children, even people like Oprah, the president or Bill Gates and other multi-millionaires; no money can buy more than 24 hours a day no matter who you are.

A study was done in Switzerland, my home country, where they took pictures of the brain of elderly people in nursing homes who had violent tempers. Low and behold, the same part of the brain that is affected by Ritalin showed evidences of holes in the brain tissues. And isn’t it interesting to know that after doing research all of these people had been on some kind of “calming” drug as they went through life?

It pisses me off that parents and society are so damn ignorant and constantly wanting the easy way out – all at the cost of their children’s well-being! How many couples do you know that stick together for the children? Since when are our children silly-putty to hold together our dysfunctional marriage? No wonder these little guys are angry and upset at the world. They don’t have the vocabulary or even the understanding at what they are angry at in the first place. So we label them ADD and ADHD. To make it worse we now label adults that way!

I give you a hint: it’s called STRESS.

In preparation to read and understand this post, please read the previous post from February 11th. It saddens me greatly to see the world in so much ignorance with what is going on inside of us all. Just because shootings happen in other States and they are other parents’ children doesn’t mean we are not all affected. I was puzzled that we too had a recent teenage suicide a couple of weeks ago and only 11 out of thousands of parents showed up to our Teen Depression and Teen Suicide presentation. We would so much rather look the other way and pretend that our children are not “that” depressed and therefore it doesn’t concern us. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

So granted, we know that the first dysfunctional family existed with Adam and Eve, long before Cain and Able showed up and one killed the other. The parents were already screwed up before Cain and Able were ever born. She deceived him with her manipulative ways and he was a cowered and didn’t stick up for what was right – both lost and today's couples still seem to struggle with the same issues. Not much has changed other than that most couples pay thousands of dollars to a therapist to rehash the same old crap each week for decades to come. Take away that “fake” band aid from the relationship and most likely the relationship won't hold together. There is indeed a time and place for therapy, I’m all for it, however, most use it as a band aid and they never get to a place where they can function without that additional help.

Hint: if the specs ask for a 4x4 post don’t try to make a 2x4 fit, you’ll pound and hammer on that 2x4 until it splits and breaks into a thousand pieces and in the end you have nothing. Sounds like most marriages doesn’t it.

Today we would rather pretend and make therapy and our children the silly-putty that holds marriages together rather than true and unconditional love. And we would rather stuff our children with medication and shut them up so they are manageable to the adults who can’t handle them in the first place.

What the hell is wrong with humanity??

Let’s talk about Cause and Effect for a minute. An entire CD in my program is dedicated to this topic because once you understand Cause and Effect a person can apply this formula to any challenge in their life and instantly solve their problems, whether they be health challenges, dealing with “impossible” children or a cheating spouse. Whatever the case may be, understanding this one lesson and how to apply the formula is a miracle in and of itself. It is the easiest lesson of life, in fact it is so simple that most don’t get it.

Cause and Effect is the only Law of the Universe upon which all other laws are built. We hear more about the Law of Attraction than we do about any other law, and while it is a good law it is only another law based on the foundation of the Law of Cause and Effect. The first law is Cause and Effect; ignore all others until you understand this one, then all the others will make sense.

Cause is always internal, Effect is always external.

No Exception.

Look at this first picture showing Cause at the center.

Everyone understands how a rock thrown into a lake causes ripple effects. The majority of people would say that the rock is the Cause of the ripples. This is not correct, however. The rocks is actually Effect number 1. The ripples are Effect number 2. Although long after the rock has sunk to the bottom of the lake, the ripples (effects) are still continuing to grow. So it is with our problems of life. Long after the thought we thought about has put in motion the ripple effects of our life, the thought has disappeared and we have long forgotten about it because now we are busy trying to make the ripple effects of our negative thought go away.

However, the thought only appeared to be the original cause, this is deception in its truest sense. That’s why positive thinking alone does absolutely nothing for most people.

Thoughts come from somewhere deep within. A thought, although within, materializes without causing havoc if the thought was impure or tainted. Positive thoughts bring about positive results, yes. But WHAT exactly makes us think the thoughts we think?

If you can see, feel, touch, sense or hear whatever it is you’re trying to fix (even a “broken hearted” teenager) then you are looking at an Effect, not a Cause. You can never, ever, ever fix an Effect and expect the problem to be gone. As long as the Cause is still there, new ripple effects will reappear eventually. Hence, people say: “Why do I keep attracting these losers?” It's because you didn't take care of the thing that causes you to attract them in the first place.

So as parents and teachers and authority figures of any sort what do we try to do? Fix the teenager or child by pumping them full with medication (that ought to calm them down!). It’s like chasing after one of the ripples on a lake and wanting to make it go away, it’s impossible!

There is more to this Cause and Effect Law. Look at this seesaw.

Cause is the fulcrum, always steady, always calm, it never moves, it only balances the lever. Our thoughts, however, always change. Thus thoughts can’t be Cause. Cause is always within, never without. Whatever comes from Cause (the fulcrum) creates an imbalance of the lever called Life. What is out of balance must come back into balance. Hence “Opposites attract.”

There is always only one Cause, there are always two Effects.

Whatever shows up on one side of the lever must show up on the other side of the lever in equal measures.

“What goes around comes around.”
“And eye for an eye.”
Etc.

Back to the rock that is NOT the Cause of the ripples on the lake. At first blush we think that it is our thoughts that rule our outward world. And that is correct only if one knows how to think conscious thoughts and has the knowledge to think the thoughts that bring them the circumstances they wish to experience. Tell a starving child somewhere in the world that they should think positive thoughts and visualize plenty of food and they would look at you cross-eyed because they don’t KNOW this experience, they have never experienced or even seen plentiful of food.

There are only two Causes: One stems from the Light, the other stems from the Darkness.

What keeps the lever even is the invisible equator called Balance. The moment we get out of balance Nature brings us back into balance, even if it hurts us. The good news is that we are in charge 100% - only us, no one else.

You choose every time you make a decision if you are about to receive Effects that will resemble light and love, or Effects that will result in chaos and disaster. It’s called FREE WILL and FREEDOM of CHOICE. There is no one to blame.

My entire CD program and e-Book is based on this one simple law: The Law of Cause and Effect. It is the only valid law in the Universe upon which all other laws are built, including the Law of Attraction (what you are on one side of the lever must undoubtedly be brought to you on the other side of the lever by your equivalent). So if the Law of Attraction or Law of Allowance have never made much sense to you, understanding the Law of Cause and Effect will bring all puzzle pieces into balance for you.

Wishing you a conscious journey that you design for yourself with love and light, so it can be a joy to walk this path called Life.

How our Depression and Chronic Illness Carries over to our Teens

2008-02-11T07:55:00.001-08:00

This weekend our county featured what is called a Parent University, which was a day filled with classes by various speakers. Classes ranged from “Teens and Sex” to “Teens and Drugs and Alcohol” and I was giving a testimony/presentation about “Teen Depression and Suicide.” Since I live close to the Golden Gate Bridge, and work as a suicide prevention hotline counselor, we deal with “jumpers” on a consistent basis. Unfortunately we just lost a high schooler who jumped off the bridge and our topic of teen depression and suicide was added at the last minute, in an effort to help parents understand and see the warning signs of depressed teens.

This Parent University takes place once a year. What was shocking to me was that out of over 500 high schoolers going to this one high school alone, only about 100 parents showed up for the initial keynote presentation. Out of those parents only 11 people showed up to our presentation on Teen Depression and Suicide.

PEOPLE ARE SIMPLY INCAPABLE AND/OR UNWILLING TO DEAL WITH TEEN SUICIDE (or suicide in general for that matter).

So many parents would rather stick their head in the sand and say: “my teen might be depressed but certainly not suicidal.” Until it’s too late. We have on average of 2 people jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge every month. Last year by June we had already reached the 25 mark. And I just read an article that Military suicide has been at an all time high.

Is it any wonder the way this world is heading?

Without getting my readers depressed, the first thing to do for ourselves (and thus the people around us) is to look death in the eye, no matter what that means. Death is inevitable, it’s coming sooner or later, to all of us, not just some of us. What doesn’t need to happen at all is for us to call it quits when the going gets tough. When someone gets that low to want to end their own life, the pain of whatever it is they are dealing with has become too heavy. They don’t really want to commit suicide or die, they just want the pain to stop. And they’ll do whatever it takes to make that pain stop, even if it’s ending their own life. Feeling that kind of pain is pretty devastating and needs a lot of coping skills and tools in our coping cabinet. Something most teenagers don’t have.

Many people I know are committing a slow form of suicide by falling deeper and deeper into a depression within their partnerships or in their life in general. They would rather stick out the pain and stay in a depressed situation than take their courage and start a new life, perhaps alone. “At least living with this person I know what I have, it’s terrible, but I know what I got.” Leaving brings the unknown and that is way scarier for most people. Even at the prospect of finding true love or peace and happiness, most people choose to stay with sorrow and bleakness. And our teens watch this, they analyze this and they soak it in more than you know. If you as a parent are suffering over a long period of time, what are you teaching your child other than “this is going to be you one day.” What teenager wants to live up to that?

The second thing we absolutely have to do is to remove stress. Not only the stress in our teenagers’ lives, but our own. We are way too stressed, watch way too much TV with stressful shows, and there is simply not enough peace in our own lives. Disconnect from this world. Turn your cell phone off for a weekend, unplug your TV from the wall and do something else, go outside or play games. Take it easy, don’t schedule anything. If this can be your life style, congratulations. Perhaps you can manage to implement a few days here and there like this, that’s fine. Start somewhere.

Let’s be honest and open with our feelings to the friends we have. If you don’t have any friends or none that you feel comfortable talking to about your depressions for fear of judgment or whatever, know that you can come here. There is no judgment here. I have been at the depths of life and definitely have felt like Jonah swallowed up by a wale,” and I’m here today to tell you that there is hope, no matter your situation. I’m glad to help.

My light always brighten your path so you can see,

Chaszey

Setting Goals

2008-02-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

Good morning everyone,

I was teaching a class Goal Setting this week. As I went around the room, it was interesting to see that most people did have goals and they had the idea down of what their goals are, but no one had the specifics. One person would say: "I want to lose 20 pounds." Another person said: "I want to find the love of my life." And another person said: "I want to start my own business."

These are not goals, this is wishful thinking. The whole world wants things, the whole world dreams of a better life. No one wants a life that sucks us dry and is boring and without purpose. So why do only a few achieve their dreams? Is it because life is truly unfair to most of us? Or is it perhaps because we do not live with deliberate intention?

When you set goals that you want to materialize for yourself, you have to add the right ingredients, bake to perfection and then enjoy:

Goals must be:

1. Specific (describe your goal in as much detail with as few words as you can)
2. Measurable (I want to lose 20 pounds vs. I want to lose weight)
3. Realistic (I want to lose 20 pounds by the end of this week is not realistic)
4. Challenging (Make your goal stretch you and reach for the stars)
5. Completion Date (most people miss this one; they say "I want to lose 20 pounds this year," instead of "I want to lose 20 pounds by such-and-such a date")

Once you have your goals set according to this formula above, create smaller action steps. Because if you just write down your goals and don't put action behind your dreams and goals, then the Universe can't bring you what you so desire. It is by your strong arms that you achieve your goals.

Glory be to self-empowerment - I know you can do it!

How to Forgive and Get Happiness and Peace

2008-02-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

Whether we are in physical or emotional pain, often the emotional pain is much more overpowering than the physical pain. Often we wish that someone could wave a "magic wand" to make this agony go away. The funny part is, we do have a magic wand, it came with the castle we built for ourselves so long ago. We just have replaced it and can’t find it anymore because we’ve been spending too much time in the dungeon and not enough time in the grand ballroom. So we run through our castle screaming for someone to get the darn magic wand and heal us already. Yet little do we remember that everyone else is staff and not authorized to touch the magic wand. And even if they did, it only works when we use it and use it the right way.

No one is allowed to remove our pain from someone else's journey and their life path. Doing so is robbing them of their own path and their own lessons. It’s like pulling the sticky stuff off a butterfly that is struggling to free itself from its cocoon. If we do, the butterfly will die because it will be unable to fly unless it has managed to free itself from its own cocoon. Yet how often do we go to someone else asking them to free our wings? And how often do we aid in the inevitable tragedy of disabling the person to fly on their own?

It’s hard to watch someone suffer. And obviously if we can help without disturbing or interrupting the course of their life, then we help. That’s what life may be all about. Defining the difference, however, may be one of our hardest lessons.

I remember belonging to a church group many, many years ago and each week the women got into circles to pray; everyone took turns. Now I recall that we all seemed to beg God to do something for us or for someone else. “God, I beg you to…” usually was contained in everyone’s prayer somewhere. We don’t have to beg, we just have to get clear about what we want, what we truly want. Because we’re also told that if we seek with our whole heart and all of our mind, we shall find it. And of course, later we’re told that the kingdom of heaven doesn’t have to be found at all because it’s already within us. We’re the master architect of this amazing castle, we are the kings and queens, gods and goddesses of our own castles; we designed the place we live in (our bodies), and yet somehow after we moved in we decided to move into the dungeon rather than celebrating where it’s light and sunny.

So how did this law of balance become my most visited guest? One day I realized that everything and everyone around me, including my own body, is here representing as a symbol. Everything I see and don’t see is a reflection of what I first put out into the Universe. It was then that I was able to start removing myself from my Self and become the observer and literally detach myself from my Self. I hope this makes sense. It was the day I realized that I was sitting in my dungeon awaiting trial, hoping that someone would come forward and proclaim my innocence. I was waiting for someone to open the thick, squeeky, wooden door to this dark place, and set me free. Someone did come, but not to set me free, just to let me know that the trial I had been waiting for was fabricated in my own mind and that no one would ever come to set me free - it was ME that could set me free because it was ME that put my Self into the dungeon. I went there willingly (perhaps ignorantly, but definitely willingly).

When I started to slowly accept that everything is one and everyone is one and the same, then I also started to realize that I am just as responsible for the 9/11 bombing as if I would have flown the plane myself. No, I wasn’t there and obviously I’m not a terrorist. However, I have chosen to live in this world at this time and every experience everyone is experiencing at this time is indirectly (and directly) very much affecting our world as a whole. It’s called mass consciousness. I stopped watching TV a long time ago and can barely go to the movies to watch a G rated movie because of the harsh sounds and the big pictures rushing at me. My body and being have become extremely sensitive. I don’t watch the news, don’t read the newspaper, it’s just bad news that comes to me a day late to remind me that there is nothing I can do about it anyway. The world has problems, that’s no news, I don’t need to know the details and stress over it. What’s important will come to me through other means, and it always does.

And suddenly something interesting happened. Even though it seemed as though I wanted to take the ostrich approach and stick my head in the sand and pretend that the evil doesn’t exist in the world, my intentions were the opposite. Suddenly the parts that did find me were magnified and I knew that I could and had to do something about those things. And I did, and I do. Suddenly I pick up on the CAUSE of this things rather than hearing and agonizing about the effects plaguing the world. Feeling other people’s pain from all this distance at first was almost unbearable, then I realized that I could help by taking responsibility. Even if I didn’t pull the trigger, didn’t bomb that city and didn’t fly that plane into a building, I felt responsible by living at this time, and I apologized. And I asked for forgiveness. And I said “I love you.” Not to anyone in particular, just “I love you.” Perhaps I said it to the world, the Universe, the people who were doing these things, the people who had to endure them. It didn’t matter anymore. I just wanted to remove myself and say “I apologize, I forgive you, I love you.”

Later when I read one of Dr. Emoto’s books about frequency and vibrations, I learned that the highest vibrations comes with love, forgiveness, respect and gratitude. I was already doing the first part of this and simply added the second part: respect and gratitude.

“Now hold on a second,” you may ask. “I’m not only supposed to forgive this bastard for what he did to me AND apologize for what he did to me AND then say I love you??? But now I’m also supposed to respect that person and be grateful for him?? I didn’t do anything – I am the victim! You must be out of your mind!”

Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I never said it was going to be easy. I promise however, that it works!

This is going to be challenging but trust me, it works and it works every time - do not dismiss the simplicity of this. Find a mantra, an affirmation, a prayer, whatever you call it, that is filled with love for the person you once loved. Yes, today you may dislike this person and possibly even hate them. Yet the hate and dislike is bouncing back to you and those around you (our liver by the way is the anger center in our body, anger towards other people always shows up in our liver). Moving forward on a path of hatred and dislike will only get you sicker, not healthier. First and foremost we need to heal our hearts, then our bodies will be healed automatically and then our outward world and finances will fall into place. Let's find the cause first. All effect will fall by the way side. IF you can do this, I'm sure the heavens don't lie, your love will conquer all because love never fails; come from that place first and all else will work itself out; THAT I know for sure. If anyone needs help with their mantra or their affirmation, just send me an e-mail. I would be more than happy to give you feedback on your mantra, if you need help with it. It's important that you pick only positive statements and that you make it short and sweet; no beating around the bush, no double meanings, etc. When I have "enemies" then I go back to the basic items that are important to everyone: My mantra for my enemies is always the same:

- I'm sorry (I take 100% responsibility for the other person's actions);
- I forgive you (for everything and anything);
- I love you (the core essence of you, that doesn't mean I have to love what they did to me, I just love the essence of them which is the same as mine);
- I respect you (that you are a seedling of light just as I am);
- I am grateful for you (when I'm hitting the depths and the lows is when I learn all my lessons, the heights are for my enjoyment only, rarely do I learn my life lessons on the heights, they always come in the depths, so I thank my adversaries for these lessons, because of them I can grow).

My 5-CD Audio Program features over 6 hours of these lessons. It is now available also in e-Book format featuring over 340 pages of wisdom, photos, diagrams and charts. Visit http://www.itsmyweightloss.com/products for more information.

Try it and please let me know how you're doing! Cyber hugs and rays of light to accompany all of you on your journeys.

Habits of Failure and Habits of Success

2008-02-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

How can habits, good or bad, help us have better health, better relationships, be happier with ourselves and get more satisfaction out of life in general?

Most have heard that “humans are creatures of habit” – what does this really mean?

The Thesaurus breaks down the word “habit” in 3 different categories.

1. A habit can be a custom, a routine, a pattern or someone who practices tradition
2. A habit can also be a tendency towards something, an inclination, leaning towards, a preference or a fondness of something
3. And lastly, a habit can be an addiction, a problem and a dependency

Needless to say, when habits describe addictions, problems and dependencies, we have a bad habit going on. The truth about a habit is that something, anything becomes a habit when it is done without having to consciously think about it. When an act has been done so many times that it has sunk to the subconscious and we do it without consciously thinking about it, that is when something has become a habit. I remember the first time I drove a car, I had to consciously say to myself: “Step 1, set the seat, rear view mirrors, etc. Step 2 put the foot on the break,” and so on. Today of course all those steps are automatically.

As I was thinking of the habits that undoubtedly seem to control me, I realized that the habits that are truly dangerous to my well-being are not so much the fact that I may not unload the dishwasher immediately and thus the dirty dishes pile up on the counter for a day or two, the truly dangerous habits are those that come from within. The thoughts I think about myself or someone else, those repetitive thoughts that seem to float around like debris on a lake after a hefty storm.

How can I turn those habitual thoughts into beautiful floating water lilies upon my subconscious so I am flooded with healthy habits that are constructive to everyone involved?

As I am on a journey of self-discovery, as everyone is at all times, I am realizing that getting in my head to take inventory is one of the hardest things a human can do. We are not our best friends and we certainly are not 100% honest with ourselves. To be brutally honest with myself about bad internal habits I have takes guts and a true desire to really wanting to change, no matter what this change entails. Change frightens us, whether it is good change or bad change, change is the opposite of a habit, and we avoid change at all costs. We are so used to “doing” something “out there” in the world, that sitting still long enough to monitor our thoughts becomes a painful task that requires patience and perseverance and a self-love to truly wanting to know all that is going on inside of us, including the ugliness.

Just for curiosity’s sake, I looked up the words success and failure. English is not my first language after all and I’m always fascinated what the Thesaurus has to say. Did you know that success means achievement, accomplishment, victory and triumph? And did you know that failure can mean a breakdown, a stoppage, a malfunction, a crash, a collapse, disappointment, a letdown, a catastrophe, a closure of some sort?

No wonder then do we avoid looking inward long enough and deep enough at the good and the bad, in an effort to make a change for the positive. We stop our own growth by looking away and pretending that we’re not really that way. The worst part is that even "looking away" has become a habit.

I personaly wouldn’t consider a closure a failure, and in essence I am realizing that I don’t think of failures as negative qualities at all. Failures to me are just a door closing in my face to show me that I’m heading the wrong way. All I need to do is turn my head to the door that is slightly open, choose to walk towards that door and it will automatically open for me. Failures to me are just a course-redirect.

I made a list of all the outward habits and realize that changing those habits are super easy compared to the internal habits. The kingdom of heaven after all is within, not without. Yet I’m learning that in some areas of my life I live in my castle’s dungeon, rather than celebrating with good habits in the grand ballroom. I have agreed to observe myself on the inward habits, the thoughts I think, the paths I take within my own mind when things go right and when things go wrong. After all, we can be our own greatest teachers as much as we can be our own greatest enemies, if we just paid attention to our habits….and decided to turn them into positive ones instead.

One habit I do want to engrain into myself is to say a silent prayer of “I love you” to everyone I meet, especially to my enemies…

Abundance, Health and Happiness

2008-02-01T16:38:00.000-08:00

As a facilitator I taught a class this week and I posed one question to the group: “What kind of millionaire would you be? How would you feel if you were a millionaire?”

The answers ranged and were as follows. One person said: “I would feel relieved.” Heads were nodding.

Another person said: “I would feel more at peace and not so stressed and worried.” Everyone concurred.

And someone else said: “I would feel free to do what I want to do and go anywhere I’d like to go; I’d feel happy about that.” A resounding “yes” was heard across the room from all participants.

I pointed out to the group that the majority of people mentioned words like relief, peace, freedom, and happiness. Those, however, are not qualities that can be bought. Those are states of BEING, not states of doing or states featuring a price tag.

Since when do we put a price tag on emotions that come from within? And yet we do, even if not on purpose.

I asked the group why they have not chosen to be in these states of being right NOW, even though the money wasn’t here. Thoughts crossed through everyone’s faces, and heads lowered.

Then the silence broke and a woman shared that she had been poor growing up and she learned how to stretch a dollar and considered herself a frugal spender. She married a millionaire a few years back and divorced him after a year. She was not married long enough to get any part of his estate and she said that was just fine with her. It was the biggest learning experience for her and sobering. She stated that he was mostly stressed about losing his money, worried that people would steal from him or blow up bids or give him an unfair deal. He was supposedly stingy as can be and far from being happy or peaceful. She couldn’t take the superficiality any longer and learned first hand that happiness doesn’t come from money. It comes from within.

Having money to pay for your bills is certainly better than having to worry about getting your electricity turned off. Abundance, however, doesn’t have anything to do with money. It means “in excess of” or “a surplus” or "a lot of" – not necessarily of money, a surplus of happiness means Abundance just as much as having more than enough to buy whatever you want. Having a lot of health means just as much Abundance to a sick person as a million bucks may mean to a poor person. It's all relative and YOU put the price tag on each of these qualities.

So is it possible to have too much money so our worries and concerns are increased and in turn this worry gets us sick? In my opinion, absolutely, I see it quite often in fact.

There is nothing wrong with money in and of itself. Money is only paper until we as humans put energy into its fabric. This energy can be positive AND negative. Unfortunately most of the money today contains energetic frequencies that vibrate on the level of greed, jealousy and unfortunately that of blood.

And isn’t it interesting that many couples report that one of their biggest fight causing topics is that of money?

No wonder the bible says that the love of money is a root of all evil.

There is so much more to talk about this topic, perhaps I could write a book about it one day. For now, let’s concentrate on the qualities that carry with it the purest of vibrations: those of happiness, peace, relief, joy and so on. Those qualities are priceless and can only be found within, and only within one person only: YOU and you only. Seek (within) and ye shall find it (within you and you only).

Much love along your path and may it be sprinkled with lots of golden rays of sunlight.

Non-Productive Partnerships Can Cause Us To Get Sick

2008-01-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine who has been married over 15 years has had her share of heart ache with her husband, like most couples do. Every time they get “into it” she gets closer and closer to the inevitable decision she may one day have to make: “I’ve had enough, THIS broke the camel’s back, I’m outta here.” Each time they fight her physical body seems to be taking a longer and longer toll and requires more time to “heal” to come off the anger-rush. This last time it took her almost one full week to feel like she could function again. The week in turmoil was spent barely functioning in any of her other areas of life; work suffered, she was tense with her friends and her children, she lost interest in most day-to-day things and so on. Sounds familiar?

And yet a week later she apologized, he apologized and things slowly mended back to where they were before. Because of the children they don’t want to break up. Oh and also because they deep down truly love each other (yeah right). And after all, at least he’s not a beater, a cheater, a drunk or a drug addict, and he’s a great father after all – so it must not be that bad. And I really don’t want to be single again, what if I never find anyone else?

Who are you kidding?

Most spend their life time trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. And the fact doesn’t change: if it doesn’t fit now it won’t fit tomorrow and it certainly won't fit 20 years from now! And what’s worse, trying to do so actually will reduce your life span. You can’t live with someone who is energetically and vibrationally incompatible with you, without getting sick or die early. People are desperate not to be alone and when loneliness overpowers people they will settle for anybody - a jerk, a witch, a loser, anyone will do - as long as we they are not alone. It doesn’t have to be this way.

So stop trying - stop wasting your precious time on partners that are not your match. Yes, this is easier said then done. Yet I promise that it’s easier than you think.

- Here is your first clue: It comes down to simple math.
- Here is your second clue: Nature is our greatest teacher and shows us countless examples of what true unity is all about.

Unfortunately, most are still stuck in the primal dark ages where “sex is natural” and therefore to be exercised as much as possible, with as many people as possible. Little do most people know what really happens during those special moments, whether you are with the right person or not. And even less do people think of the consequences that come from such mismatching.

Here is a first insight again. We are made of 70-80% water. Water is created by merging the right parts of hydrogen (male) with the right parts of oxygen (female). Once water is created, both hydrogen and oxygen DISAPPEAR and VOID each other in order to create something a lot more powerful than if oxygen or hydrogen were to stay “single.”

Does this mean that two people need to give up who they are or forget about their own purpose here on earth? On the contrary. The problem is that most people underestimate their own power and don’t know WHAT and WHO they are and they blindly merge themselves with another person not even realizing that they are trying to create water (magic) with this other person. Water, however, can only be created when the two components are a 100% match. Otherwise you have a chemical mismatch. Thus we get sick, physically, emotionally, spiritually, we die from the inside out – slowly but surely – until the stronger partner is almost destroyed. The weaker partner will have enough juice to keep going, because s/he feeds off the stronger partner’s energy field.

Again, if you mix hydrogen (male) with peroxide (female) you'll have a good match but not a perfect match. Hydrogen and Peroxide do not void each other out in order to create something even more powerful, so they are left to clean wounds...a nobel duty, but nothing earth shattering.

The same thing happens when two people merge, because our bodies are chemical suits. And just because the sex is great doesn’t mean THAT is your life partner. As a race we have to learn to grow beyond the evolutionary step ladder of primal procreation and learn that this is about raising the frequency of the entire galaxy so all mankind can be raised to a level of consciousness.

Water in this example can be likened to MAGIC. When two matching partners come to together, they do so to create magic, not only for themselves, but for the world. Such a union is truly one-of-a-kind, rare and so blessed.

More on this later…

Marriage vs. Divorce - And the Heartache That Comes With Both

2008-01-30T07:38:00.000-08:00

Marriage, divorce and relationships in general have a huge impact on our health and overall well-being. Just this week our county suffered a tragic loss to suicide. A 25 year old young woman who shot herself to death because her boyfriend broke up with her. If you've never "been that low" I hope you can reserve judgment for people who do go to the edge where pain seems too overbearing. The woman was not only beautiful, she was successful, had a great job with lots of promises ahead - yet nothing seemed to heal her heart from her break-up with her boyfriend. Suicide seemed like her only way out. As a suicide prevention counselor I see the complaint about loneliness all too many times, and most never call the hotline to get help. It doesn't have to be this way. Yet this is the reality for so many.

The bible says: "Let no man separate what God has joined together." (Please note that I am not religious and do not belong to any religious groups or churches.) If the word "joined" would have been translated accurately from the Hebrew, the word would actually have been "welded." Welding two people together, or anything that is welded together for that reason, cannot be ripped apart without damage to both parts. Any welder knows this, any jewelry maker knows this. Yet as people we rip apart our own marriages all day long.

But what if we forgot to pay attention to the middle part of the sentence? "Let now man separate WHAT GOD has welded together." What if your marriage wasn't welded together by God at all? What if it's us humans getting infatuation confused with unconditional and true love, which causes us to squeeze a square peg into a round hole? Can we truly say then that God put the marriage together?

Some of you may say: "Well, we are all gods, God acts through us, therefore, we are gods of our own lives." Yes, that is very well true - we are also told that "The Heart is deceitful above all things." Knowing that full well, I also know that now looking back, my "red flags" came along right with the feelings of love, of wanting to truly make it work, of wanting to be "at home" with this person for the rest of our lives: "Until Death Do Us Part." I shrugged the red flags under the rug and only looked at the good feelings and intentions, hoping the red flags would disappear over time, or be transformed over time. Ah, I was notorious for HOPING that he'll change, or that IT will change. And it never does, does it Ladies...

And now in hindsight, almost 4 years later, I have learned this wisdom. God never welded together our marriage at all. THAT was the thing we tried to do for almost 15 years, we tried to weld and mold and join and weld some more. But it would never stick long enough. It was exhausting to say the least. And our marriage never welded, never joined, we never succeeded at squeezing the square peg into a round hole...

Let’s look at some statistics (Source for all statistics: http://www.divorcereforum.org/):

1. America has the highest divorce rate in the world
2. The number of divorces has quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 18.3 in 1996
3. Divorces cost Americans $33.3 Billion each year
4. Each divorce costs the government approximately $30,000 in increased food stamps, juvenile delinquencies and increased bankruptcies
5. 75% of all divorces are initiated by women (I heard that 85% of women today don't even want to get married anymore)
6. Divorce counts for a major reason of suicide amongst males
7. There are almost 1 million attempted suicides each year
8. 50% of all children involved never see their fathers again one year after the divorce
9. Children in single family households are twice as likely to develop serious psychiatric illnesses and addictions later in life
10. Approximately 1 million children each year are affected by divorce
11. Fatherless homes account for:

• 63% of youth suicides

• 90% of homeless / runaway children

• 85% of children with behavior problems

• 71% of high school dropouts

• 85% of youth in prison

• 50+ % of teen mothers

What does this statistic have to do with chronic illness?

a. I believe that most illness is caused by stress.

b. I believe that most stress in today's world is caused by mismatching ourselves with the wrong people (not only our marriage or love partners, this also includes the families we live with, the friends we choose, the bosses we choose to work for, and the overall environment we set up around ourselves).

WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES? And for what?

Do we suffer "in the name of love?" There is not much love there trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole, hoping for the square peg to one day fit. It'll never fit. Just like Hydrogen and Peroxide will never make water, a wrongly matched couple will never create anything productive and useful for humanity.

Are you asking yourself just about now: "I wonder if I'm with the right partner." Then read between your own lines, because your answer is within that same question...

More on this most important topic later...

When Life Throws You The Unexpected

2008-01-29T14:41:00.000-08:00

Life is not always as predictable as we want it to be. These past few days have been interesting to say the least, and the word “interesting” doesn’t even scratch the surface in reality. A friend of mine was scheduled for surgery on her foot this morning. She won’t be able to walk for at least 6 weeks and recovery will be a long and tedious road for her. She has a lovely dog who just happens to be my dog’s best friend. Her dog sitting arrangements didn’t pan out the way she wanted them to, and I unexpectedly volunteered to be the back-up plan in case of anything unforeseen. Having two one-year old dogs is like having two-year olds running around without their diapers on, with nothing on mind other than to rip apart their toys. In other words, they constantly have to be watched because they are getting into everything. And yet they are a great joy and bring so many smiles.

After dropping off my friend at the hospital to have her surgery, I got on the freeway where I soon saw 4 police cars on the side of the road. I saw a pick-up truck in the ditch in the bushes and a body on the side of the road on a stretcher, covered in white plastics (it’s raining today). This person didn’t make it.

How fast does life pass by! Perhaps this person was just on the way for lunch or to run an errand. Whatever the case, people will be called to be informed that their loved one will not be coming home tonight, or any other night for that matter.

And there I was complaining about the uncomfortable appointment I was going to. Seeing this dead body on the side of the road brought me back to the harsh reality – life is fleeting indeed.

I’d like to recommend you go see the movie called “The Bucket List.” At first I thought it was a comedy, and in a way it is because it made the audience laugh and smile, that’s for sure. However, the laughs and smiles didn’t come from funny stories as much as they came from the truth of how fleeting life truly is.

Live life to the fullest, now and always, no matter where you’re heading. You never know if your next ride is your last…

Many blessings to you and your loved ones.

Numerology, Your Name and How It all Ties Together for a Blessed Life

2008-01-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

Today my puppy is 1 year old – happy birthday, Nikko!

It was a great moment when I drove to see him for the first time. He was 12 weeks old and part of my wish was that the owners would know his birthday and that he didn’t have a name. What are the odds of that when a puppy is already 12 weeks old? Yet there I was kneeling down for the first time to meet him, it was love at first sight. J They did know his birthday, January 23rd and he did NOT have a name. It was meant to be.

Why was this so important to me?

There are over 2600 words making up the English alphabet, yet this is a Universe created entirely on mathematical systems, yet there are only 10 numbers (9 really). Based on someone’s birth date, first and last name, a trained numerologist can pretty accurately give a forecast of that person’s life purpose and the person’s actual path, conflicts and blessings. It’s quite amazing really.

Giving a name to a dog based on his birthday may be a bit drastic. But when you know that my would-have-been son’s name was to be Nikko, then it makes great sense. My ex-husband and I never had a second child, but we would have named him Nicholas, Nikko for short. With this nameless bundle of joy coming along I felt doubly blessed.

I know that this entire Universe is made up of sounds. Sounds can heal, and they can also destroy and distort. The sound of a name either gels with the soul’s purpose or it reeks havoc. I only know of two cultures that name their unborn based on the vibrations of the sound. One is a tribe in East Africa. The other is the Native American culture. For the most part, listening to the sounds of words has become a lost art, to the detriment of our society. The cost is lack of health and chaos. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Numerology is a simple system that allows for anyone to learn more about themselves and their birth path. The best place for training and reports I found here at: http://www.kabalarians.com/.

How Touch Promotes a Prolonged and Healthy Life

2008-01-22T09:42:00.000-08:00

Denis Waitley - “Touch is the magic wand of intimacy. Love is keeping in touch.”

A study was conducted to see how “every-day touching” ties in with a culture’s overall life expectancy and that of its population's overall health. People were studied in various cafes and meeting places around the world to see how many times people touched each other either deliberately by giving hugs or holding hands or “by habit” with just a brush on the arm or a hand on the shoulder, a handshake or a kiss on the cheek. Some of the countries were the US (New York), England (London), Norway, France (Paris), Brazil, Costa Rica, Italy and others. It was found that people in “warmer” countries and closer to the equator, were touching each other many more times, which also coincided with a much higher life expectancy rate.

Almost everyone knows that an abandoned infant who does not get touched and held and cuddled with will develop abnormally or even die if not touched at all. Touch is a means to show love, a way of regenerating not only your own battery but also the person you touch.

Living without hugs and someone to hold (a lot or at least from time to time) can also cause us to get physically sick.

There is no substitution for a touch or a hug from a loved one. However, many live life as singles or are estranged from their spouse, leaving you witwhout the importance of daily hugging.

1. If there is no one in your life for you to hug once in a while, a great alternative is to get a massage from time to time. The mere touch of another human can do wonders for anyone. If money is an issue you may want to visit a massage school where level 1 and level 2 massage therapists charge a fraction of a regular certified massage therapist.

2. Getting a manicure and pedicure can also help.

3. And if you really want to help not only yourself but especially someone else, visit a nursing home or a convalescent hospital and ask the nurse’s station which patient is no longer receiving any visitors. Go spend some time with that person, read them a book while holding their hand. You may just give them the greatest gift!

Here’s to a huggable and healthy you…

Shining Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

2008-01-21T16:17:00.000-08:00

Franklin Roosevelt said: “Freedom from fear, freedom from want, freedom of speech, freedom of religion; Deprive man of all these freedoms and he dies – deprive him of part of them and a part of him withers.”

To that I might add that if a person’s health is deteriorating, he’s been stripped of just about anything that may bring the want and desire to even live on. I remember being so ill and feeling so sick most of my days and nights that I could care less what I looked like, what impressions I made to others, what was to come of me in life, I just didn’t have an ounce of life left in me that would give me enough strength to even care. Yes, at first I felt guilty for not having enough strength to cook a good dinner for my husband and for not having the strength to read a book to my child. After a while the guilt left because crawling to the bathroom became the highlight of my day.

Yes, when you’re feeling that sick and life seems to be zapped from your body – how can you truly let that light in you shine through you and radiate and touch others?

It seems like an impossibility!

And yet here I am, more than a decade later to tell you about it, to encourage you not to give up but to find healing from within. You’ve been given everything you ever needed to live a glorious and happy life. We are told that the kingdom of heaven is within. Yet we teach children that heaven is “up there” by pointing to the sky. It truly is within and that’s the only place you need to look for answers on how to heal. The best part is, you don’t even have to do the healing yourself, your amazing body was created to heal itself, all you have to do is tap into that light energy and allow it to start the healing process once again.

For me personally I realized that I was so sick because I was running from my true purpose. And in a way I was running away from my calling just like Jonah was running from God in the other direction. Disobedience caused him (and many others) lots of grief. And in the end he had to go about his purpose anyway. We only have two directions to run towards: one is towards the light and the other towards the darkness. I didn’t feel at first that I was running towards the darkness, in fact I felt as though I was stagnant or suspended in slow motion. I just felt like life was unfair. Once I admitted that there is a purpose out there for me and that I had not experienced or fulfilled it as of yet, and I agreed to go after it no matter what, only then was I shown one little step at a time towards the healing process. It was a slow process that took 4 years all together. Don't dispair, just get started by being willing.

Seek and you shall find. We were promised that and the promise holds true for everyone! Just remember that you don't need to seek “out there” but “in here.” You are all-wise, all-knowing and your body is here to be your greatest ally.

Here is to your healing, your well-being and your purpose!

Fibromyalgia & How To Achieve the Opposite of “Chronic” Pain

2008-01-19T09:23:00.000-08:00

The Thesaurus states that “chronic” means the following: constant, unceasing, unending, continual, persistent, never-ending, ever-present, lasting, acute, recurring, returning, frequent, habitual, and so on.

WHO CAN LIVE WITH NEVER-ENDING PAIN!? And yet so many do…

The first time I heard the word “chronic” I was only 3 years old. I was plagued by heavy eczema all over my body to the point where my skin was cracking and bleeding behind my knees, inside my elbows, the corners of my eyes and my mouth and I had bleeding cuts underneath each of my toes. My skin was so leathery and itchy that people looked at my mother funny wondering why I was full of bleeding scratch marks all over my body. I was dragged to the University of Zurich because the allergies and hey fever were affecting me with flu like symptoms and I was not a happy child. I was poked and prodded and my mother was told that I would be plagued by chronic hey fever, allergies and eczema for the rest of my life.

When I was 5 years old cortisone creams and bath supplements had ceased to work and it was advised that I would be given cortisone shots instead. I was given cortisone shots until I was almost 15 years old. While the cortisone temporarily seemed to help the allergies, the damage that was done to my growing body was unimaginable. It seemed to start eating my body alive from the inside out. Normal accidents seemed to be too much for my body to handle, it simply didn’t have the healing mechanism that a regular body would have.

Life happens to people and “normal” bodies have a way of initiating the healing process, something my cortisone infused body was incapable of doing. I literally deteriorated and aged from the inside out. By the time I was 18 I was barely able to walk and in pain 24 hours a day. Back at the University of Zurich I was told that I was suffering from Rheumatism and to have back surgery to remove the countless fragments that were “floating around” my spine area to help alleviate some of the pain. I refused the surgery. I was told that I would die an early death because my MRI showed a skeleton of an already 30 year old woman – I was only 18. A new MRI at age 25 showed a skeleton of a 50-60 year old woman and back surgery was eventually inevitable.

Future emergency surgeries for deteriorating organs and soft tissue disease was inevitable and necessary in an effort for me to be at least walking. But when it was suspected that I was dying of lymphoma at the early age of only 29 my courage and desire to live left me. I was tired of the word “chronic,” I was tired of pain, I was tired of life. I suffered from chronic bronchitis, chronic carpal tunnel, chronic back pain, chronic constipation, chronic fatigue, CHRONIC WHATEVER – I had had enough in this body – I was ready to let go.

I don’t ever remember feeling “at home” in my body, feeling comfortable and pain free. As far back as I can remember there always seemed to be pain accompanying this life. I was finally at the end and I was glad and happy to “go home” and leave this defective shell behind.

But wait – not so fast!

The preliminary diagnosis of lymphoma turned into lupus, then Hodgkin’s disease, then hepatitis B or C, then Lyme’s disease, and finally I was diagnosed with chronic immune deficiency disorder (CFIDS) and fibromyalgia. What the heck - I didn't sign up for this!?
Then I learned that I would live with this unbearable pain for the rest of my life – yeah right! There was no way that I would continue living a debilitating life, going to meetings where others talk about their pain in an effort to get support – without the hope of ever feeling better!

There had to be another way, and there was. Today I’m in my 40s and living a life that I wanted to live when I was in my child hood and teens: pain free, productive and happy.

It has been a journey, a long journey. And it’s not over, it’s ongoing and ever evolving. It has been said that “incurable means curable from within.” This is absolutely and utterly correct. When everything pointed towards a painful and short life, it was WITHIN that I found the answers for a cure.

Just two days ago I received a call from a mother whose daughter attempted suicide twice in the last 3 months (I work as a suicide hotline counselor). She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2004, is in her 40s and the pain has become unmanageable for her. This disease may be new or not even exist or even be a misdiagnosis of something totally different; whatever the case, the pain is very REAL.

If you suffer from “chronic anything” know that anything but CHRONIC HAPPINESS is abnormal, dysfunctional and needs to be converted into joy and happiness. There IS a way. Read through my posts, get my eBook featuring 350 pages of my life lessons, and beyond all: don’t ever stop believing that there isn’t any help out there for you. There is!

If I can transform and transmute all these “chronic illnesses” then you can too. So instead of attaching negative energy to these “chronic” descriptions, I want to wish you the following:

Constant happiness, unceasing joy, unending love, continual pleasure, persistent health, never-ending ecstasy, ever-present peace, lasting romance, acute laughter, recurring kindness, returning abundance, frequent feelings of excitement, habitual consciousness.

Here is to celebrating you…

Getting out of Depression Part 3

2008-01-18T17:49:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to this last part of “getting out of depression.” This is by no means the end-all and cure-all advice to depression. Everyone experiences depression in different ways and because our egos have a tendency to react to life’s trauma we find ourselves in various different places. What works for some may not work for others. It’s also important to note that I was never diagnosed with a mental illness and was never medicated for depression. If you take medication for depression, make sure you double check with your therapist or doctor before undertaking any new tactics against depression.

Remember that this is my journey I am willingly sharing with you, in the hopes that some of you may find courage and power from within to start believing in yourselves again.

I was feeling just about the lowest I had ever felt in my life. Ill, debilitated and with little hope for a full recovery. With only my mind working from time to time, I was forced to stay in bed. This over a 4 year period.

You may have heard that people who have given up one sensory ability such as hearing or seeing, develop increased abilities in other departments. I have a friend who has been deaf since she was one year old. Today all someone needs to do is slightly knock on the window by her entrance door and no matter where she is inside her house, she can feel the vibration of the fingernail tapping on the window on her body. It’s quite amazing.

When I felt as though I had nothing left but my mind, it was my mind that developed to heights I never knew possible. I remember it being frustrating because I had all these ideas and wishes bubble to the surface within me, yet I was housing inside a body that was about to let go and die. It was utterly frustrating.

One day I just agreed to my death. I gave in and I let go. It was then when I threw in the towels, threw up my hands and was willing to “slaughter the child within” that a new flame of inspiration was ignited.

“What am I so afraid of?” I asked myself.

Dying was inevitable and obviously in front of me. I was not afraid of dying anymore, it seemed to have become my early lot. But what IF I was not dying and there WAS indeed a way out from this lion’s den? What would I be afraid of then? If I were to continue to live, what were my fears?

What are your fears today?

Here is the first thing I did, a little trick that may take a guts, and if you can muster up the courage to do this exercise and then tackle these things one by one, your life will change for the better without a doubt.

1. First make a list of all your fears.
2. Then number them with your worst and all-time biggest fear being number one.
3. Make a decision to tackle each fear one by one, until that three-headed monster has been conquered.
4. Then immerse yourself in your fear until you love the thing you once fear most.

I personally decided to tackle the first three biggest fears together at the same time rather than picking some of the smaller fears at the end of the list. It took me 1 year to overcome these three fears and then a miracle happened!

My all time biggest fear was public speaking. I had attempted to start two businesses before where speaking was necessary – I utterly failed because I would have rather crawled up and died somewhere than to get up in front of a crowd.

My second biggest fear was to leave my husband and become a statistic, a single mom with a child who was disappointed in her mom that she didn’t “stick it out to the end.” I was afraid to break my promise “until death do us part” and to feel like a failure for the rest of my life because I broke that promise.

My third fear was to fly in an airplane. Yes, I know it sounds strange or funny to those of you who fly a lot or go on vacation a lot. There was a time in my younger years where I wanted to become a flight attendant. Once my daughter was born, however, this desire parted and instead turned into fear. I also had a couple of bad experiences and I’m still surprised the plane didn’t go down or shatter to pieces during those experiences. Not pleasant and definitely fear-inducing.

I gave myself 2 years to overcome these fears. I not only overcame them, but I learned to LOVE their opposites. Once I decided to tackle the fear of public speaking by signing up at a local Toastmaster’s chapter I started to slowly but surely be more at ease with the fact that public speaking may just be my calling. And it was and it is. Today I am asked to speak at new-thought churches, I taught at the Learning Annex for over 3 years, I give radio interviews and I spoke with Robert Kyiosaki in front of 1,500 people. Who would have known my biggest fear would become my all-time biggest love?

Overcoming the fear of flying in an airplane was easier than overcoming the fear of public speaking, yet they were intertwined. I decided to book 8 airplane rides in the first 12 month period. My first flight was one hour away, my second flight two hours, and so on. Remember my end-all goal was to love to fly and the only way I could do this was to either find a happy reason at the end of the trip or to meet great people along the way. I did both. By the 6th plane ride my fear had disappeared and turned into excitement instead.

And last but not least, overcoming the fear of hurting my husband and my daughter, leaving him and breaking my promise “until death do us part.” This was a big one because it seemed to have the biggest, most unknown consequences and affected not just me and my husband, it affected my daughter. I knew what I had in my dead marriage (which was nothing), and no matter how dead it was it was all I knew and it was all I seemed to have gotten from my parents (nothing). Going out there into the unknown was frightening and scary. My goal was to part as best friends at least. And we did. We let each other go in peace and with much love in our hearts and we were truly best friends the day he moved out. In fact, we went shopping together for a new place for him and I helped him move that infamous day. We continued having dinner once a week as a family and in many ways he became my best friend only after he moved out. Today I have been divorced almost four years and they are by far some of the happiest four years of my life. Sometimes I wonder what I was so scared of.

Nelson Mandela gave a speech in 1994 that says the following: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

The biggest miracle happened once I learned to LOVE these three biggest fears. Remember there was an entire list of fears that I still needed to tackle? Once these first three fears had been tackled I went back to the list of fears, only to realize that all of the other fears now looked like little pebbles. They were not even fears anymore! I was free and empowered by simply approaching my three biggest fears. All else fell away automatically.

I’d like to encourage you to look at your fears, tackle them and to turn them into love instead. Start by making a list of all your fears, then decide which fear(s) you want to tackle first. Take action by learning to love the fears, because you may be surprised like I was and discover that your fears turn out to be part of your purpose here on earth!

Here is to your success…

Speaking Up Some More!

2008-01-15T17:24:00.000-08:00

Isn’t it interesting that this topic gets smacked in my face everywhere I turn. Just when we seem to want to take on an important life lesson that is so long overdue, it’s as if the Universe claps all hands of joy and delivers more opportunities to overcome that lesson than we can seemingly handle.

Just yesterday I told you about the gentleman who tries to speak up with his girlfriend and keeps getting shut down, resulting in both of them being depressed. This only a day after I made the decision that speaking up is really my lesson. Lao Russell is right when she says that “The whole universe is a mirror which reflects back to you that which you first reflect into it.”

Today I received a phone call from a woman who was distressed about having to pay for a pretty expensive electricity bill. She lives in a little cottage behind the main house, which is about four times the size of her little one-bedroom space. The lady in the main house lives there with her husband and she feels that the woman in the tiny cottage should pay half of the electricity bill. No, this was not discussed when she moved in and is not part of the contract.

When I asked her what she was going to do about it she said she knew that she had to speak about it up (here it is again) but she was most likely just going to pay for it to avoid confrontation.

Lesson number one: While we don’t want to be paranoid and live life with a bunch of “what if’s” – we obviously have to cover potential hurdles, especially those that we know are going to come our ways – even if it’s uncomfortable at times. It’s better to clear certain things up ahead of time when the actual obstacle is not before us, this keeps emotions out of the way and prevents ugly weeds of anger getting planted into our beings that later come to rear their evil heads.

Lesson number two: Learn to speak up when you feel you are being treated unfairly, rather than avoiding confrontation. Learning to speak up for yourself is not about being a bully, it’s about loving and respecting yourself. When you start to love and respect yourself you suddenly start carrying yourself a different way, you start walking more upright and people can tell that there is a power surrounding you that they may not be able to explain but they know that there’s something different about you. How would you like it if people didn’t even try to pull a stunt on you like this?

When I asked this woman what she was going to do she said in a “defeated” kind of voice: “I know I’m supposed to speak up about it, I just hate the confrontation.” I asked her: “What if you approached it mathematically by simply talking about the square footage of their house versus your tiny cottage and them being a two-person household versus you being alone?” This made sense to her as it will leave the emotions out of it and she agreed to have “the talk.” What’s exiting about this is not the actual talk, but the fact that she sticks up for herself and sets clear boundaries that are not to be crossed (which is to be taken advantage of). Once she has set these boundaries and she sees them honored her self-esteem, strength and power will soar, which will take her to other heights that she can’t get to until she has overcome those plateaus. It’s the growth that will come from this lesson that is the most exiting part.

Good luck with your own lessons of speaking up for yourself!

Speaking Up For Ourselves

2008-01-14T17:51:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like you’re not sticking up for yourself? Like you are saying “yes” way too many times when you mean to say “no?”

Just this week I had a conversation with a good friend about wanting to learn to speak up for myself and being able to say “no” when I am unable or unwilling to do something for someone. I brought it up with her because she is my accountability partner, a coach, and I wanted her to call me on it when I say “yes” too much when in fact I should be focusing on something else. Interestingly enough as it usually happens this way, once we truly devote to learning a lesson and really want to get better at something, we are given the entire Universe to support us and back us up. “Ask and receive” truly works, what I’m learning is to ask carefully, very carefully indeed, because I have a tendency to always get what I’m asking for.

So this morning I ran into a gentleman with whom I cross paths sporadically, and during the regular “how was your week” question I sensed a bit of sadness, a bit of depletion if you will. I wasn’t going to poke and prod (another lesson I’m learning), when he voluntarily said: “You know, I’ve been involved in this relationship with this woman and we’re just not happy together. She lives with me and I feel like I’m being taken advantage of, yet every time I speak up about it, she shuts me down and then I shut down and stop talking all together.” He went on explaining that after those talks nothing happens between their relationship, there are no changes, only more depression. When I asked him how he was handling this depression he said: “When I’m home at all I generally sleep.” “Because you’re so depressed?” I asked. “Yes, isn’t that sad?”

Yes, it is sad and yet so common and happens more often than we want to admit. I certainly have been there.

As our conversation went on he changed subject (at least that’s what he thought) and he started talking about his two children. He talked about how they are working and are holding jobs, but how he really wished that they would have achieved more and done something better with their lives. He wishes that they would stick up for themselves and go for what they have always dreamed about.

He may have thought that he changed the subject, yet it’s so clear to see - there is no such thing. Our main life lessons are always before us, in all categories and present with all people we associate with. The Universe is attempting to bring to us the lessons we asked for by means of various different angles in the hopes that one of those will make those scales fall off our eyes. Yet when depression hits all those angles only serve to get us even more overwhelmed.

So I asked him what he was going to do about his dilemma. He said: “I’ll keep plugging along, one day at a time.”

I didn’t know the gentleman well enough and it was not my place to say this to him, nor did he ask. However, for those men out there who are reading this, here is my answer (and women, please provide your valuable feedback here). I’m a pretty powerful woman who knows what she wants. I live my life with purpose and with passion (even though it wasn’t always like this). Having talked to many powerful women I speak for many, there is nothing that turns us on as much and gives us as much emotional security than a man who knows what he wants, a man who has found his purpose in his life and sticks up for what and who he believes in. A man with unshakable faith is truly a rare find. And the opposite is just as true. There is nothing that will make me run to “Tarshish” faster than a man who looks at a job to “just get by” and a man who won’t stick up for himself. The edge on any cliff is a lonely space, and people who live there do so by design and purpose. If a man can’t stick up for himself, how in the world will he ever be able to stick up for his woman or their relationship when it comes down to it? First we need to learn to respect ourselves and not let others trample on us and take advantage of us, before we can expect anyone to respect us.

The world thinks that what women want is security. That’s only partially true. What most women want (at least the ones that are marriage material) is emotional security. A powerful woman can earn her own living, she doesn’t need a man to do that for her anymore. What she can’t do is give herself emotional security that comes from living with her true life partner, for that it truly takes two. Does this mean she is insecure without her man? Absolutely not, in fact she is resolved and has agreed to live her life alone if it had to come to that, rather than settle for someone who is not able to handle her. Her security is knowing herself to the core. Her blessing is merging with the one partner who is able to handle her energy, her vibrations, her power and her strength, her love and her devotion. And that she cannot do without her man, and she knows that.

As far as this gentleman is concerned, he can’t even hold his own space, how can he possibly hold his partner’s and even set her free? Perhaps he will see that since this is his third relationship that looks identical to the others, that this is one of his main lessons. If he doesn’t get it this time, he’ll just attract another woman giving him the same lesson (only magnified).

For me, it was the push I needed for me to learn to stick up for myself and to be true to myself. Now I’m on the practice road. It may get uncomfortable at times, but isn’t that what living on the edge is all about?

Go be true to yourself at all times: when you look in the mirror there will only be one person ever staring back at you, no matter how much you want to change this, it will always only be you – so be kind to yourself so you can be proud of yourself!

And my blessings accompany you on your journeys.

The Diet Industry – A Glorified Trap

2008-01-13T09:28:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine explaining a 1200 calorie diet to your great-grandparents? Their eyes would roll back in their heads and they would certainly turn in their graves if they knew how today’s society is enslaved to the diet industry. Today experts seem to have all the answers, there is a pill for everything, and even a perfect diet for every blood type. We are inundated with things we “should” eat and “should not” eat. No wonder some people feel guilty just drooling over dessert. Heaven forbid you stare at it too long, you might actually gain an ounce just lusting after its yummyness. It has become truly ludicrous.

Yet today’s main health problems are all stress related and it’s no wonder when we have learned to program our minds with information that is meant to scare us when it comes to our diet. Is it any wonder that we suffer from diseases today that didn’t exist two decades ago?

Why have we let this happen to us as a society? What’s the benefit to us for the diet industry to have such a tight grip on us? And why have we willingly become their slaves?

As human beings we have created these magnificent bodies to live in so we can do what we have come here to do. We are meant to nourish these vehicles, to enjoy them, treat them well and savor every experience while in this body. For some reason over the past few years our bodies seemed to have become enemies instead of our best friends. The media never fails to attack body parts: “Fight off your unsightly cellulite.” “Get rid of your love handles.” And on and on do we hear about how we need to mold our bodies, reshape them and even go under the knife to look what others want us to look like. So for once I dare you to demand your freedom back and practice gratitude for your body. It’s your only prototype, take well care of it.

These 4 starter points can help:

Start looking “inside” for answers: Whatever it is you’re looking for, you can find any and all answers inside of you. If you’ve been told that you are suffering from an illness, turn to your Higher Self for answers. You created the disease over time, perhaps over life times; ask your Self for details and how to heal yourself. Even if you feel at a breaking point, there is always a way out from under the seemingly unbearable pressure. Seek the answers with all your heart and your Higher Self will answer and show you the path to full recovery.

Meditation and breath work: I can’t stress the important of spending time alone with your Self in silence. Start your time alone by breathing with intention. Watch your breathing throughout your day and take deeps breaths throughout your day. Meditation is hard for most people because they feel they’re not doing anything. That’s exactly the point; we are human beings, not human doings. And peace and happiness come from a state of being.

Make use of your body: Our bodies were created to move us around from place to place, for physical labor and to help us achieve what we have come to achieve here on Earth. In European countries people walk an average of 2 miles per day just by doing every day things. In the US we barely walk at all because of the convenience of our cars, or because we just too lazy. Your body longs to move around; sign up for a gym membership or purposely go about using your body by getting your heart rate up and sweating at least once a day.

Love your body, all of it, and be kind to it: As a society we have come to learn to hate our bodies or at least parts of it. Imagine the leader of our country broadcasting on national television that he hated and disliked us – we would have instantaneous war amongst ourselves. And yet, isn’t that what we are doing to the 70 trillion living cells that make up our body when we tell one part that we don’t like it? How can you expect your body to work in peace and in cooperation with each member when you tell one part that it is defective in some way? Say nice things to your body for the parts that do work and the parts that you do like. Start somewhere, then expand as you start feeling the 70 trillion living cells suddenly work together to help you create a body that is truly at peace within its members. You will be amazed at the difference!

How Not To Let Yourself Go After You say “I do”

2008-01-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

Many people have a slight tendency to let themselves go after they say the infamous words: “I do.” While most men long to see their wives look the same as on their wedding day, it never works out that way. And most women on the other hand say a silent promise to themselves: “Now that we’re married he’ll change for me.” And we seemingly devote the rest of our lives to changing that man into something he’s never meant to be.

A quarter century down the road we hardly look like the sexy, slim women we were on our wedding day, to the sadness of our husbands who now are in the deep end of the pool called mid-life crisis, where they discover a life raft called “the younger woman.” Meanwhile, the woman takes inventory of the man she has vowed to change so many years ago, and she realizes that he’s certainly not the man she married, he has truly changed, but he is by far the man she had hoped him to become. It’s a true set up. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why is our hair the first thing that we chop off right after we get married and instead we pack on the pounds?

We all have seen the young and athletic couple before their wedding, the very one we run into at the mall a year later and think “holy crap, they’ve gained weight!” He proudly holds on to his love handles while blaming the wife’s cooking.

What about us women though? We have enjoyed our own cooking for the most part of our lives, so why gain weight after we’re married? More importantly, how do we get off the unnecessary weight, without falling into the endless downward spiral called “diet trap?

These 3 pointers may help any woman to stay or feel attractive and to feel beautiful about herself:

1. Protect that gym membership as if your life depended on it. Once the children are here, everything changes and life often is lived exclusively for others from then on. Taking a sliver of time for yourself every day seems pure luxury, and it doesn’t have to be this way. Often we rationalize making other excuses like “It’s just too expensive,” or “I just don’t have the time.” Yet working out, sweating or doing some form of exercise may be your saving grace to keeping your sanity as well as your individuality.

2. Keep that long hair. Yes, one of the first things we chop off when we get married seems to be that long gracious long hair that takes oh-so much time every day. Yes, it’s a lot of work. And I dare you to spend that extra 30 minutes a day to treat yourself nice by looking your very best with your beautiful long hair. Instead of seeing long hair as a burden, see it as a blessing and a money saver. Short hair costs a lot more in hair dresser fees than long hair does. You can use the money you save on a hair dresser on your gym membership.

4. Your body is your best friend - listen to it. Even Adam and Eve found a bond through a mere apple. To this day when we go out to eat we ask the person we’re with: “What are you having?” Who cares what they’re having! In some illogical twisted kind of way food is a great bonding experience between people (we can be so primal). Let’s take that next step on this evolutionary ladder and start asking this question of our body instead: “What would you like today?” Listen to that voice instead and you’ll find that your body works with you like a well-oiled machine that keeps you going healthy for decades to come.

Getting out of Depression – Part 2

2008-01-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

There I was, laying on my death bed, waiting to die of lymphoma, barely able to crawl to the bathroom, stuck in a marriage that had rotted away a long time ago, and trapped in a deteriorating body that seemed to have given up on wanting to live. My spirits had come to an acceptance that my physical life had come to an end; my little 2 year old daughter would not remember her mommy as she was growing up – I was forced to come to peace with that, and I did. I remembered to have said: “Until death do us part,” and I was about to bring glory to that promise and there was a sense of peace, in a sick kind of way.

I asked one last question: “Was this really what my life was all about?”

And suddenly it hit me. I don’t know how and why, and it doesn’t matter. The answer came in form of a little flicker, as if a little pilot light was re-ignited if you will. Suddenly I just knew that this was not all my life was to be about. I had missed my purpose and I was not done yet, in fact, I was far from being done and the road ahead of me was still a long one.

A new sense of desire emerged. A desire was born to “find out” and “inquire” about life. I was determined to ask questions and even more determined to get answers. And I got them. The more I asked, the more answers I was given. The more answers I was given the clearer life’s directions became. Simply glorious!

There I was almost without a breath left in my body, and yet suddenly this big tomb stone had suddenly started to roll away from the entrance to my grave, even though it seemed as though I didn’t do a thing. What was different this time? I had been begging and pleading for a better life, why now?

For the first time I realized that I was willing to give up everything, even my life. I stopped fighting against the goads by being a Human Doing and fell into a state of BEING instead. It was there in that silent and lonely grave that I realized the most important lesson of all: The true blessings of all don’t come from things we are doing, are capable or willing of doing, they come from a place of complete surrender, a place of utter allowance to be guided to true blessings by the divine.

It’s as if the light behind the door to my heavens was shining so bright, it was enough to re-ignite my pilot light so I could find the will to live and finish what I had agreed to come and do. Whatever that was, whatever that meant.

This is my first and most important step in getting closer to true blessings, no matter where you are in life:

Be open to the fact that your duty may not have anything to do with what you are currently doing, no matter your situation.

Then simply agree to be aligned with your true reason for being here, to be shown the way, to let divine plan be shown to you.

Then buckle your seat belts, Dorothy, because Kansas will never be the same.

The easiest and fastest way to get in touch with these blessings is to silence your mind, you body, and to go within – to meditate. That is truly where all the great minds of all times have fished for their inspirations on what to do, how to do it, with whom to do it and when to do it. It has worked for me, it will work for you.

The most tempting step is to tell the Universe exactly how you want those changes to come about. This simply won’t work. The HOW is not your business; your business is to surrender, to be willing, to allow and to follow your inner promptings – that’s it.

Pay attention to what is being shown to you because changes will come to you in strange and unexplainable ways. Remember, it’s part of the agreement to be shown your divine role in this great theater called life.

Once you’re back on your feet there are many things you can DO, once you’ve agreed to first BE the human being you’ve come to be.

I will share with you my “to-do” tactics as I was led them to do, which undoubtedly changed my life 180 degrees in multiple different and exiting directions, and they will help you too.

Stay tuned for the last segment of this article series, part 3.

Manifesting Miracles Using Collages and Your Handwriting

2008-01-06T15:13:00.000-08:00

“Getting Out Of Depression – Part 3” will be posted no later than Tuesday. Something quite unforeseen happened here in the last 2.5 days and it’s been quite exiting.

Friday morning I was sitting on the couch and sorting through the books and magazines. I have agreed to be a facilitator for a local Bay Area organization helping underprivileged and low-income women to start their own businesses. I am exited to teach their first class and part of the first lesson’s curriculum is to do a collage of their business idea. My friends call me the Manifestation Queen because I have been into collages for years and have them all over the place in my house and in many different categories. I have a huge white collage hanging in my office that features my personal homes, vacation homes, my love life, my family life, my vacations, even the ideal dog I wanted. This white board is only for experiences that I want to draw to me.

I have two additional boards full of collages that are related only to what I think I am able to GIVE to the world, the reasons as to why I am here. Some of those statements and pictures are wishful thinking and character traits I am striving towards, others are qualities I already I possess and want to strengthen.

There are several other methods to how I manifest in collages, I have several books and binders and a big wooden box that looks and opens like a book where my collage pieces are contained until they make it onto a board or into a book.

I was browsing through the magazines to see if they would be fitting for me to bring to my first class when I saw a notebook that was given to me by a woman as a gift. I had tucked it under my coffee table for one of those special moments. Friday morning was that special moment, because it was cold and rainy outside, and I felt like manifesting some more. This time I decided to put a wish list together for specific things that I want to obtain.

One of those things is a 2-7 day vacation trip into solitude with the love of my life. He’s not in my physical space yet, but I’m obviously manifesting him now so that I’m ready for when he is in my life. One of my deepest desires has always been to spend 2 to 7 days alone in a cabin somewhere out in nature, with no electricity beyond some light, no TV or music, no microwave, only candles, games, books and lots of one-on-one time.

There I was sitting “reminiscing” about an event that will take place in the future, although it felt at that very moment as if it had already happened at some time in the past, even though it hadn’t.

Suddenly the lights went off. We had a power outage.

Like with every power outage we expect them to be taken care of by our skilled workers according to civilized standards (aren’t we spoiled). I was wrong. The power didn’t come on for the entire day. In fact, it didn’t come back for almost 3 days. By this time the temperature in the house had dropped to 51 degrees, the food was spoiled and I got tired of wringing out the drenched towels in the window tracks from the water that was entering in small gushes.

Yes, my “reminiscing” a 2-7 day retreat into silence came true all too soon! Only, my man was missing…the books and the games were present, but my beloved was not here to enjoy the little adventure with me.

Manifesting through the use of pictures, words, and your writing is a most powerful tool. I have always written my thoughts into a journal even as a little girl. Today of course I write differently, with intention, lots of intention and very careful with the words I choose; my collages change each year as I grow as a human being. The power of your manifestations is measured with the power that you put behind your words, your idealization process and your intense desire to achieve the thing you want. Pictures that symbolize something work like magic too.

As time goes by I will gladly share my manifestation successes, because there are many and they are absolutely mind boggling to my friends. I have gotten used to them and by now I actually expect them. I’d like to encourage you to get started and create your own collage. If you need help with it, simply send me an e-mail at corefreedom@yahoo.com or respond to this post and I’d be glad to help.

Getting out of Depression – Part 2

2008-01-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

So there I was, laying on my death bed, waiting to die of lymphoma, barely able to crawl to the bathroom, stuck in a marriage that had rotted away a long time ago, and trapped in a body that seemed to have given up on wanting to live. Even my spirits had come to an acceptance that my physical life had come to an end; my little 2 year old daughter would not remember her mommy as she was growing up – I was forced to come to peace with that, and I did. I said: “Until death do us apart,” and I was about to bring glory to that promise and there was a sense of peace, in a sick kind of way.

I asked one last question: “Was this really what my life was all about?”

And it suddenly hit me. I don’t know how and why, and it doesn’t matter. The answer came in form of a little flicker if you will. Suddenly I just knew that this was not all my life was to be about. I had missed my purpose and I was not done yet, in fact, I was far from being done and I had a long road ahead of me.

A new sense of desire emerged. A desire to “find out” and “inquire” about life, to ask questions and to get answers. And I got them. The more I asked, the more answers I was given. The more answers I was given the clearer life’s directions became. It was glorious!

Here is the first thing I did, a little trick that may take a guts, and if you can muster up the courage to do this exercise and then tackle these things one by one, your life will change for the better without a doubt.

1. First make a list of all your fears.
2. Then number them with your worst fear being number one.
3. Make a decision to tackle each fear one by one, until that three-headed monster has been conquered.
4. Then emerse yourself in your fear until you love the thing you once fear most.

I personally decided to tackle the first three biggest fears rather than picking some of the smaller fears at the end of the list. And there is a reason for this, which I will share with you in part 3 of this article. It took me 1 year to overcome these three fears and then a miracle happened!

Stay tuned for part 3 of this article where I will not only share with you what my all time biggest fears were, I will also share with you how life changed so dramatically afterwards.

Getting out of Depression, Part 1

2008-01-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

Looking out the window early this morning it was evident that the world in the San Francisco Bay Area has returned to “normal.” At least on the outside it looked that way. Traffic was backed up bumper to bumper by 6:15 a.m. and as I was taking my puppy out for his morning Nature call, people were walking to their cars to head off to work.

I was heading off to work at the suicide prevention hotline, where life for most callers continues to be anything but normal. Most people are under the impression that the holidays are a trigger for suicidal people and yet statistically the closer we get to Spring time is the most crucial time for most. It’s when everyone seems to break free from the cold weather and wake up from the hibernation stage that lonely and depressed people tend to do the opposite: fall deeper into a stage of sadness.

Callers are plagued by severe depressions usually ranging from loss of a marriage, lack of health or declining health, financial trouble and so on. There is one common thread amongst our callers: the overwhelming and overshadowing feeling of loneliness. No one seems to care. No one seems to understand. No one can relate. There is no one to call. No one calls them. Add to that mix declining health with a grim hope for improvement and possibly a spouse or partner who is now seeing someone else and we are dealing with a recipe for disaster.

Having been at a place where I felt devastated about having to wait for a diagnosis of lymphoma and putting my thoughts together for my Last Will, I can empathize with most people who are in a similar position. Feeling stuck in a marriage that seemed like a true prison to me and was unhealthy for both of us but not knowing or seeing that I had a way out adds to my understanding of people who are finding themselves in the same place.

I realized that everything seemed to have been taken from me by some unknown force (and yet there was no one to blame): my happiness, my marriage, my health, even my days were numbered. I had hit rock bottom. I had nothing else to lose…

It was during this time that I had an inkling of hope, a flash of “aha!” popped into my mind: “What if I missed something?” "What if there WAS a way out and I had just missed it?" I did miss something, the most important thing of all – my purpose, the very reasons for which I have come to be here. I did not know what that purpose was at that very moment, I just knew that I was unique (just like everyone else) and that I had come to create something that was reserved for me only. I didn't know what it was yet, but I trusted that it would be shown to me in due time. All I needed to know right then was that there was more than what meets the eye.

A new desire emerged.

Note: I was never diagnosed with a mental illness and this post and any other of my posts are not meant to be substitution for medical advice.

So what did I do and how did I overcome my illness and change my life?

Stay tuned for Part 2 of this post where I share with you simple strategies that helped me recover once and for all and turn my life around to be the happy and living the successful life that I am living today. I am exited to share with you some tips that may just help some amazing people out there find hope for themselves.

Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work

2008-01-01T17:30:00.000-08:00

A while back the Learning Annex asked me to teach another class on how to overcome procrastination. I remember thinking it weird that anyone who procrastinated would sign up for a procrastination class. Wouldn’t they just procrastinate signing up?

For those of you who have studied the art of setting goals, you may have discovered that most goals are never achieved and only 3 weeks after New Year’s day all resolutions are out the window. Why does this happen?

The reasons are endless; some delay goals, some forget about them, others change them and so on. The main reasons are different for each person; a faster explanation may be as follows: Most people are putting too many goals on their list and aim too high and then try to attempt the path on their own and without support. In addition, most people are too hard with themselves and at the slightest inkling of what feels like failure, they throw it all away. To add to this misery most people have a tendency to share their ambitious goals with those that have no business of knowing about them in the first place, because it’s as if they are just waiting in the bushes to pounce out and say: “Ha! I knew you couldn’t do it.”

There has to be a solution to changing our lives for the better – what is it?

First, go inside for wisdom and all answers. No, I’m not joking. We’re all different about how we look at goals and what they mean to us. One individual may have nightmares just thinking about a test, to another a test can be his greatest motivation to studying. For me personally the tighter a deadline and the harder the task, the more excited I get to achieving the goal. To others a deadline may be the most frightening thing ever.

For example, the most common New Year’s resolution of losing that holiday weight, or perhaps that of several holidays ago. No matter where you look you’ll find articles about how to lose that weight and what diet fad is new in Hollywood. In my humble opinion wanting to lose weight is the most useless and stupid New Year’s Resolution there is. It is cruel and rigid on your body, not realistic, causes overwhelm and is a pure path on putting your body straight behind bars. Prisons are meant to be broken out of, especially after those first 3 weeks in January are over and all New Year’s Resolutions have lost their appeal.

Perhaps trying this will work for you this year: Your goal this year is to always feel GREAT and to feel FIT.

Think about this, if you have one goal in mind and that is to feel great and fit, you have just stripped your scale of its rights. On the other hand, if you make it your goals to lose x-number of pounds then your scale becomes your say-all, your ruler, your king, your measuring stick, your boss. Instead let’s keep in mind that our bodies care for only the following; bodies want to feel cared for, fed with real food, satisfaction is a must, loved, caressed, hugged, paid attention to and used for what it was intended to (to move you around).

Are you getting it?

Order your body to take care of the weight loss part automatically. It was first created to work for you at its optimal capacity. The only thing you have to do is to pay attention to it, to listen to it, to love it and not to treat it right. Once your body feels that you are cooperating by showing it respect, it has no choice but to give you the same in return by bringing out the most gorgeous king or queen that you are already.

So this year make only one New Year’s Resolution: Respect yourself and your body, love yourself and your body, pay attention to your Soul’s wisdom instead of other people. Believe that you are protected by divine order. And the doors which open easiest for you in 2008 are the ones you are meant to walk through.

By the time you get to the end of 2008 and if you have faithfully held to this one desire, you will be in ecstasy, joy and amazement at how easy things fell into place for you this year. It’s pure magic indeed.

Wishing you a phenomenal year!

Letting Go - Starting Over

2007-12-29T12:11:00.000-08:00

I was asked to give a sermon at a New Thought church in the East Bay tomorrow. I had spoken there before about "Abundance" and it was such a great service that they asked me to come back and talk so fittingly about "Letting go and starting over." Another couple of days and we are closing out the year to start over with a New Year.

While I know the bible pretty well, I am by no means religious and certainly not denominational. I do love "old wisdom" that remains living and active and is so fitting for those hard times. And preparing for this sermon has been quite something. "Letting Go and Starting Over" means something completely different to each person, depending on where each person is in their life. And finding biblical stories that sum up all kinds of letting go and all kinds of starting over was an exiting journey.

The sermon will be video taped and audio recorded and placed on YouTube. I'll keep you posted when it's done.

Meanwhile, we all have had a life where we had to let things go whether we wanted to or not. Sometimes things or people are painful to let go of, others come as a blessing. We love to let go of unnecessary weight and declining health, enjoying good health and a fit body. We don't like to let go of people when a marriage doesn't work out. Usually one if not both want to desperately hold on and make it work. I call this the "squeezing a square peg into a round hole" syndrome. It's only a matter of time until both people realize that working THAT hard to keep a marriage together was not the intended plan.

Yesterday I had an epiphany thinking about my own 15 year marriage and relationship to my ex-husband. We tried so hard to make it work. First I went to counseling by myself (because he felt that he didn't have a problem and therefore he shouldn't have to go). A year later we agreed to join a church and do it "God's way." With much counseling from other couples in the church we managed to hold our marriage together for a bit longer. Then we went to parenting counseling, which then finally turned into couple's counseling. That once again worked like a glue that made us hold on just a while longer.

But when our counselor decided to discontinue being a marriage therapist my husband's world fell apart and he refused to "start over" with someone brand new. For many more years to come we tried to apply what we had learned during counseling, but as time went by our "house" called marriage came crumbling down like a house of cards and there before us laid bare our foundation, cracked, ruined, uneven and in desperate need of demolishing. It was beyond repair.

No matter how much we loved each other, the silent and unhappy days seemed to overwhelm the good days. And we both withdrew into our own shells growing more and more distant. While we never yelled or threw things at each other and didn't call each other names, our fights were internal and within ourselves and they caused us to be drained, tired, unhappy and depressed - all while still loving each other and being respectful of each other. After all, we said "until death do us part." So if it is said that "love is all it takes" and "love conquers all" and "the greatest of these is love" why couldn't we make it work?

Because love is not all it takes when you were not meant to be together. Love IS indeed all it takes if you were meant to be together in the first place.

Letting go of the marriage and my family unit and starting over as a single mom didn't come easy, in fact it took me close to 15 years to finally admit that the red flags that I had overlooked at the beginning had now turned into 3-headed monster that grew stronger by the day. We all suffered, including our daughter - because our energetic differences were causing us to live with what felt like thousands of lightening bolts penetrating our souls each and every day. They hurt, we hurt - it was time to let go.

Today, almost 4 years later I wonder what I was doing thinking that I would ever succeed trying to create "water" out of two mis-matched chemical components. We just didn't match and the red flags were there from the beginning, but I didn't look at them that way at the beginning. The fighter I was I looked at them as challenges to overcome. And although we did overcome them, they were not here to be overcome, they were here to be warning signs, and I ignored them and paid dearly for them in many areas of my life. Just because there are rocks and bolders in a river bed the water doesn't demand for the rocks and bolders to move out of the way, it has no desire to overcome them. Instead it flows around and over them, gently hugging the rocks and bolders but without ever holding for a minute to make them do what they were not meant to be and do.

When we finally decided to call it quits, we promised to part as best friends, and we did. We did our own divorce papers, no attorney was involved, and we never fought over who gets what. It was peaceful and amazing.

Today he's engaged, our daughter grew tremendously seeing us stick up for our own happiness and not making HER the glue for us to stay together. And I am forever grateful to have taken the last 4 years to grow and get myself ready for my Twin Soul to enter my life.

I hope this story encourages you to be gentle and kind with yourself, to recognize red flags and to stop squeezing square pegs into round holes. There are more doors in the castle you've built for yourself. All you have to recognize is which one opens the easiest, because that is the one you are meant to go through. Yes, we have free will and yes we can force open any door, that's why we are called to have been created in His likeness; however, the consequenses of all our actions always remains with us. Selecting the right door is easier than you think. All you have to do is listen carefully in silence because opportunities whisper softly.

Here is to your letting go and starting over...

How To Obtain Peace In 4 Simple Steps

2007-12-28T10:08:00.001-08:00

It is a well-known fact that the Holidays have a tendency to bring out the worst in families. How many times have you heard people say: “So glad it’s finally over!”

Can you relate?

No matter how long the bitter aftertaste of dysfunctional holiday gatherings lingers in the air, everyone at the core wants peace. Even that one person who seems to be the cause of all the havoc truly wants peace deep down.

These days a lot more is happening than just messed up family dynamics being forced to gather up around the Christmas tree. Has it come to your attention that things in general have shifted on our planet, not just for us as individuals but for all of humanity?

The number of tragedies that has happened to many of my close friends over the past 3 months seems to break a record with relationships having dissolved, couples separating or getting a divorce, people gaining weight or getting sick, the list is endless. It’s been a true up and down ride for many people in the world. The reasons for this shift are a multitude. To a large degree our mass consciousness affects all of us, including those of you who do not watch the tube and abstain from reading papers, another big part is simply astrological; these are exiting times for human mankind’s evolutionary life journey.

This season is resting on us like a cold blanket, making us go into hibernation, we want to talk less and spoon up more, we want to eat more soup (or eat more all together), and we tend to be more introverted. It’s truly a time for reflection, some do it consciously and others do it intuitively. Even the hours of the shining sun has been reduced and the moon’s appearance on our sky increased, literally; perhaps you know that the moon is in charge of gravity, the mysteries of life, reaching to the depth of our very souls, she is in charge of the dreams we dream, our intuition and so on. Our moon is responsible for our in-breath, for contraction. She affects our third eye and many other amazing qualities. In balance the sun shines outward and takes charge of our outside personality, and yet the sun is totally in charge to expand our solar plexus, if we would just let it. Our sun represents expansion with every out-breath we give.

For the next few months my encouragement for you is to breathe, to breathe in and out with a deep purpose, with goals in mind and with intention.

The following is a breathing exercise that comes with miracles attached, practice these techniques several times a day, and in particular during those stressful moments.

1. Fill your abdomen and chest with a deep breath
2. Hold it for eight seconds
3. Let the breath go as slowly as you are able to
4. Repeat this process seven times

If you have not done any deep breathing exercises you may get a feeling of being out of breath and you may have to take a regular breath between the seven deep breaths. That’s okay. The best times to do this exercise is first thing in the morning and last right before retiring while laying down in your bed. You can also do this exercise while you are driving. Or when you are waiting in line and anywhere where you remember to do it.

It is important to remember that are you breathing in the mysteries of life so when you breathe in, make sure your intentions are positive. Your solar plexus opens up just like the sun’s rays come to rest upon earth when that cloud moves out of the way. In fact, your solar plexus is a small version of our big sun in our galaxy and it has the same affect on your body and your surroundings as does the sun on Mother Earth. When the sun shines it is a gift of love, a gift of giving, so when you breathe out you are doing the same. Just like the sun warms up our planet when we breathe out we do the same for others. It is essential therefore that we breathe out only love and gratitude for the people and all beings of this planet, always aware that just like the rays of sunshine hit the moon at night, our solar plexus too bounces off its rays to our inner being and thus affects the people around us. Your breath has the capability of giving life and sustaining life. So go out there and breathe, always knowing that your breath has tremendous power, therefore breathe with love and gratitude.

Help! He Thinks I’m Fat…

2007-12-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

When she got married she was a size 2. After their daughter was born she was a size 14. Two years later instead of losing weight she was a size 18. Instead of hitting the gym or losing the “baby fat” she hit post partum depression and threw in the towels resolving to the fact that she was just big and “he better loves me for who I am on the inside rather than the outside.” He did love her for the person she was, but his looks on her enormously large size 18 body and 40-DD chest and a g-string that turned into booty-floss that got buried under all those “loafs of bread” did not make her feel the sexiest or most attractive woman in the world. But she didn’t care anymore…

Sounds familiar?

So what are you to do when you feel stuck in a body you don’t want to be in, fighting a depression that makes you feel guilty for having it in the first place since you just gave birth to another life and are “supposed to” float on cloud nine. You’re so uncomfortable that by now you have resorted to slip-on shoes since you can barely bend over long enough to tie your shoes.

You’ve tried working out but the time constraint now with the new child keeps you busy. You’ve tried every diet there is, and the more they fail (and we know 95% of them fail) the more depressed you get. And the excuses for not getting back into shape are endless…

Should you leave this dead marriage? What if you did?

And yet, life goes on – whether you're fit or fat!

Here are 3 things that can help you get off to a great start to regain your health and re-ignite a new spark into your partnership:

1. Stop the excuses as to why you are not losing the weight. Instead, find positive reasons why you want to regain your sexy figure. You’ve been there before, you’ll get there again. There is no need to worry about losing all the weight by next week, just start somewhere and be consistent.

2. Know that this is not about him, this is all about you. You are in this together, yes, but losing the weight for him is superficial and will only make your weight loss temporary. You must want to lose the weight for you and you only. You are the one feeling unhealthy or unattractive and you want to feel great about yourself. Having your partner be attracted to you once again is an added bonus and benefit and can serve as a motivator, but it should not be the main reason.

3. Don’t be rebellious and do what I did and put your hands on your hips with a bad attitude: “He ought to love me for me not for what I look like.” I’m sure he loves you no matter what, but you also must learn that most men are stimulated by visuals (and are equally as turned off by them). That is part of the biological make-up and no matter how much you want to rebel against it, you’re only hurting yourself and him as well. Accept Mother Nature for what she has created and know that she works perfectly at all times, either with you or against you, the choice is yours.

Foods That Slim You Down

2007-12-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

Since gas has gotten so expensive I decided that my car needed to go on a fuel diet. So I stopped putting gas into my car but I still needed it to go places. Until that infamous moment when the car stopped in the middle of the highway. It had run out of gas… Of course this is a joke and not a real story, although this happens to people every day. Interestingly enough, as people we purposely stop feeding our bodies by withholding fuel from it and demanding for it to continue to not only work, but work better than before.

How ludicrous and illogical!

Yet somehow feeding our bodies and losing weight seems to have hit a wall and we try diet after diet, none of which work. In fact we know that 95% of all diets fail.

Here are 3 foods you can ADD to your diet, which will promote natural weight loss. Note that I’m not telling you to cut out any foods, no, I’m asking you to add foods to your current diet:

Squeeze 2 pink grapefruits each day and drink on an empty stomach. Make sure that you do not add sugar or any other sweeteners to it and that you do not eat at least 15 afterwards. Fruit in general, except banana, does not need any digestive juices. If you eat fruit with your meals, your fruit has to sit there in your stomach along with the other food that needs to be digested first. Often at the detriment of fermenting fruit, which causes stomach aches to many.

Drink 1 gallon of water a day. Yes, 1 gallon. When I was first encouraged to drink 1 gallon of water a day I thought to myself that my bladder could never handle that much fluids, but it did and weight started to come off easily and I realized that I was hungry a lot less. Often when we think that we’re hungry our body is actually telling us that it is thirsty. Make sure that you drink your water without lemons or lime and without ice if you can.

Drink as many high-water content foods as you can. Especially for snack. High-water content foods are natural foods that are juice and contain a lot of natural water such as celery sticks, dikon radish, little red radishes, apples, iceberg lettuce and so on. Eat them raw, not cooked. High-water content foods give you that full feeling and their juices are the best natural way to flush out toxins and unnecessary fat cells.

On a side note and food for thought: flushing out non-productive cells also helps eliminate old and unresolved issues, provided you want to let go of old stuff, of course...

Transforming Chronic Illness Into Vibrant Health

Forever Peace

New Photos

What River Are You?

Anger and its Effect on our Bodies

Choosing to Let Go or to Hold On

With All Thy Faults I Love Thee Still

Follow Your Vision

Being a Master Mind

Wanting to Be Honest – Honestly Negative

Positive Thinking

You Are Magnificant!

A Most Unique and Wonderful Experience!

Do Your Eyes Sparkle?

Having Faith

Removing the Sting, the Whine and the Sigh

Special Update on Dating

How To Live a Great Life

A Side Note on Manifesting

Personal Growth

Are you a Pessimist or an Optimist?

Good Bye, my Almost Friend…

When Failure Comes...

Change!

Right Thinking

Dreaming Always

The Future Takes Place Now

Believe in your Self

Moving Forward – Never Giving Up

Be Strong

Promise Yourself

Gratitude for “What a Journey”

Recovery Time

Flow

When I'm So Sad...

Making Pitchers Overflow vs. Creating Deserts

Heart Breaks - And the Power of Sound

Our Body as Symbols

Wake Up - This is Real

Hiring Heavenly Help

Hope!

Letting Go - Moving – Changing – New Beginnings

When Sex Becomes a "Weapon"

Authenticity – a Scarcity?

A Blessing and Prayer for Our Enemies

Letting Go and Starting Over (Again)

What’s a Woman To Do?

What’s a Man To Do?

How To Resurrect Desire

When The Going Gets Tough

When We Experience Loss

When The Heart Seems to Break and Our Body is Red Flagging Us

More On The Topic Of Sex

Abundance - Letting Go and Starting Over - Counting The Cost

What About Sex?

Stressed Out? Try This At Home…

Asking for What We Want – And Getting It!

Why Children Feel The Need To Pull The Trigger

How our Depression and Chronic Illness Carries over to our Teens

Setting Goals

How to Forgive and Get Happiness and Peace

Habits of Failure and Habits of Success

Abundance, Health and Happiness

Non-Productive Partnerships Can Cause Us To Get Sick

Marriage vs. Divorce - And the Heartache That Comes With Both

When Life Throws You The Unexpected

Numerology, Your Name and How It all Ties Together for a Blessed Life

How Touch Promotes a Prolonged and Healthy Life

Shining Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

Fibromyalgia & How To Achieve the Opposite of “Chronic” Pain

Getting out of Depression Part 3

Speaking Up Some More!

Speaking Up For Ourselves

The Diet Industry – A Glorified Trap

How Not To Let Yourself Go After You say “I do”

Getting out of Depression – Part 2

Manifesting Miracles Using Collages and Your Handwriting

Getting out of Depression – Part 2

Getting out of Depression, Part 1

Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work