What About Sex?

There are a few things most people don’t want to talk about. They are: Sex, God, Money, Politics (which inadvertently mixes together the first three).

Let’s talk about the S word (as my daughter would say). There is so much to say about sex, the need for it, the origin of it, its past and its future, its actual purpose (depending on whom you ask) and what can and cannot be accomplished with it. We can look at sex as the merging of feminine and masculine, a physical act for the reasons to procreate (instinct), a release of energy, obtainment of energy from the other partner, a primal means to calm down, a cleansing ritual, the “coming home” to a blissful state, recharging ones batteries, arriving at heaven for a moment of rest, and so on. Depending on whom we talk to, we’ll get as many different opinions about the need for sex and what happens during sex as there are people on this planet. No one is right and no one is wrong. We’re all on our own journey and what may seem wrong to me may be a way for someone else to survive.

A great book to read is Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins. Growing up I used to judge people who smoke, drink or do drugs. Because that is what I grew up with and I saw the effect on the surrounding world. I was born having difficulties breathing because my parents both smoked and my mother smoked when she was pregnant with me. My father was an alcoholic and I saw him screw up his relationship with my mother (I’m sure she had her part in the break-up too). Sex became bad because my Dad cheated on my Mom and ended up leaving us for “the other woman.” Soon I came to view all of “it” as bad, as unnecessary, as evil and as a nuisance. It was my journey and needless to say if I ever would get married it would have to be to a man who didn’t want sex from me. Good luck! Like that was going to happen. Dr. Hawkins book really helped me understand why people do what they do, without the need to judge anyone.

Once I was divorced I went on a journey to find out what sex really meant to both men and women. I came across Nancy Fiday’s books, which helped me tremendously in understanding the human species. Animals don’t have a choice in mating or not mating, they are ruled by instinct and are primal, pro-creation and survival is there number one concern. Humans do have free will and we make a conscious choice, something an animal cannot do. Still, so much is happening as two people merge their bodies together to becoming one. Just like any battery has a + and a – part of the energetic pole, once activated the battery is capable to charge a piece of equipment up. Similarly, when a + male and a – female merge their bodies, they undoubtedly create “something.” When a battery is being used or charged up there is only energy oscillating between the + and – parts of the battery. Unfortunately when two human batteries comes together to merge and create energy, worlds are created (or destroyed). It’s not just a physical energy exchange, the merging is manifesting so much more with consequences that most people don’t want to know or hear about; if people could just see the spirals and vortexes and funnels that are emanating from them and merging with the other person to forever be implanted into the universal soil called ether, to one day create something very powerful (or very destructive).

Little do people know that once they merge with another person on a physical level and funnels and vortexes and spirals have been exchanged, they will forever take that person’s energy with them and be influenced by them. It’s like taking white play dough and mixing it with green play dough and then trying to separate the two, it’s an impossibility. Or putting a drop of ink into a glass of clear water, and then trying to take the drop of ink out of the water that is now tainted.

The more impressive part that most people don’t know about or even imagine that every exchange with another human being is a form of sex exchange. It doesn’t have to be in a romantic way, but in an energetic way. The moment two people lock their eyes together, whether during a conversation or while passing a stranger on the street, both people are constantly “shooting” spirals, vortexes and funnels out into the universe. It’s our essence that we project to the world. When we lock eyes we lock energies with the other person and instantly take a piece of their energy and give them ours. The Sanskrits believe that as soon as a woman sleeps with a man she takes on his entire karma. I happen to believe the same goes for men too. Most people’s energy I frankly don’t care to carry with me. I just am not strong enough to take on other people’s karma, I have enough of my own to work through. And unless the other person’s energy can help me work through my karma I’d rather not pack more unnecessary life times on top of this one.

So why is this such a big deal?

Over the past few years I have been a landing place for friends and clients to listen and help them see a part of their existence that can’t be viewed with our regular human eyes. Over the years I started to make a connection to a person’s personal power level and the number of physical partners they have had in their life. This may sound strange, however, what I found is that the more partners anyone had (man or woman) the more “watered down their soul” had become and they had started to lose a piece of their essence. It’s as if every time they had sex with someone they gave the other person a piece of their soul to keep forever. When the relationship or event was over the piece(s) they had given away could not be recovered. I also saw that the more partners someone had, the more they wanted to expand their “territory” and the more “free” they became to be with eve more people. It is a false freedom, however. One that comes at the cost of their own authenticity and may cause a person to go back in line to start their own evolutionary journey once again. For what, I ask.

A person I have known for almost two decades chose to sleep with as many women as he could, he always has, he still does; hundreds of them, perhaps even thousands of them. Today that he is in his 40s he’s realizing that he will never be able to regain the innocence that can only come from having all the pieces to his soul. He’s lost, he doesn’t know anymore what he wants. Women still throw themselves at him, but only because they’ve been sexually frustrated for so long, he spells their sexual freedom, something they perhaps have never experienced. Yet none of them want to stay, not one would ever want to have someone “like him” to be at their side. He’s good “for one thing.” He’s chasing through women constantly looking for the next one, constantly proving his self-fulfilling prophecy that proves that women are only here for one thing: to be used and then tossed to the curb. He has an amazing charm and at first blush really seems to know what women want. But a deeper look into his lonely soul proves otherwise, as do his eyes. The sad part is that he’s looking for an “innocent” woman who hasn’t been around the block as often as he has. Yet how can he ask of the Universe to deliver him Cinderella when he himself doesn’t live like this even to this day?

Just over the past two months I had two friends approach me who both got married young. One got married around 19, the other around 25. Both had slept with “only” 5 women. They are in their 30s now and they are longing for a temporary change and temptation for both of them from the other women is difficult to withstand. They both love their wives, they have children by them and they are committed to staying faithful. If they could just go out and dabble with other women a few times….to kick off those horns, sow the wild oats, to get some more adventure – whatever all these expressions are. What neither of them understand is that one of the reasons they are so irresistible to other women is because of their lack of experience. It’s because they still own their own power, they haven’t given it away, they haven’t slept around, neither of them ever had a one-night stand. Women being the intuitive beings they are can sense that from 10 miles away and such men become the irresistible magnets. Although women love a man who can show them a thing or two in the bedroom, a man who has the kind of power that can come from a strong and pure soul is rare and every woman intuitively wants to merge with that power, by means of physical exchange.

Will they be able to stay faithful to their wives? It’s not for me to predict. I can tell you that if they are both hydrogen and they both married their equivalent parts of oxygen and their marriage equilibrium is water, they will make it without a doubt. What concerns me is that they still long for other oxygen…When hydrogen and oxygen merge, water is the merging’s inevitable result. When two people merge that are truly meant to be together, it will show in evidence in what they create for this world. If there is no evidence, then perhaps the chemistry is lacking to produce that miracle that we all need.

So what? You’ve discovered that your partner is indeed not your matching hydrogen or not your matching oxygen. But you’ve said: “Until Death Do Us Part” and perhaps you even have created children that now count on you. What should you do? I can’t tell you what you “should” do. In fact, I have for the most part eradicated that word out of my dictionary. Remember, this is your journey and there is no should or should-nots. It all depends on what you have come here to create. Why are you here on planet earth? Is your partner’s purpose in alignment with yours and yours with hers? Remember it is life-sustaining and nurturing water you are here to create. If you’re just trotting along next to this person’s life while creating absolutely nothing useful for not only you, but also nothing useful for your child(ren) and even less for the planet, then what are you really doing here? Read “The Greatest Miracle In The World” by Og Mandino. You have a magnificent purpose here on this planet. You are unique as is your partner. No one can take your job, your position, your spouse who is your true oxygen or your true hydrogen, and no one can replace your true purpose here on this planet. The question is, are you about your true purpose yet? Or are you just fiddling around wasting time until the next life time?

When I “got this” once and for all I realized that I could stick it out with a man I was never supposed to be with in the first place or I could leave us in peace and become about my purpose and give him the chance so he too can become about his purpose. I’m not directly responsible for his journey and the decisions he makes, but I am directly responsible for mine and indirectly responsible for everyone else's, including his. However, I can only take responsibility for myself and others if I am first living the free life that I have truly come to live, I am responsible to lead by example. I also am responsible to be a role model to my daughter and to show her that settling for anything less than her purpose and the man who is her exact hydrogen counter part will prove to be futile with only heart ache in sight. She’s almost 15 and she’s already beginning to get it. The moment she sees that she wishes something was different about this other person, is the moment she realizes she is dealing with "a square peg" that she's trying to fit into a round hole. It doesn't work, it never will. I was courageous and loved my husband enough to set him free. This was over 4 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did for everyone involved. Especially this planet and humanity as a whole.

The world is waiting for you!