There I was, laying on my death bed, waiting to die of lymphoma, barely able to crawl to the bathroom, stuck in a marriage that had rotted away a long time ago, and trapped in a deteriorating body that seemed to have given up on wanting to live. My spirits had come to an acceptance that my physical life had come to an end; my little 2 year old daughter would not remember her mommy as she was growing up – I was forced to come to peace with that, and I did. I remembered to have said: “Until death do us part,” and I was about to bring glory to that promise and there was a sense of peace, in a sick kind of way.
I asked one last question: “Was this really what my life was all about?”
And suddenly it hit me. I don’t know how and why, and it doesn’t matter. The answer came in form of a little flicker, as if a little pilot light was re-ignited if you will. Suddenly I just knew that this was not all my life was to be about. I had missed my purpose and I was not done yet, in fact, I was far from being done and the road ahead of me was still a long one.
A new sense of desire emerged. A desire was born to “find out” and “inquire” about life. I was determined to ask questions and even more determined to get answers. And I got them. The more I asked, the more answers I was given. The more answers I was given the clearer life’s directions became. Simply glorious!
There I was almost without a breath left in my body, and yet suddenly this big tomb stone had suddenly started to roll away from the entrance to my grave, even though it seemed as though I didn’t do a thing. What was different this time? I had been begging and pleading for a better life, why now?
For the first time I realized that I was willing to give up everything, even my life. I stopped fighting against the goads by being a Human Doing and fell into a state of BEING instead. It was there in that silent and lonely grave that I realized the most important lesson of all: The true blessings of all don’t come from things we are doing, are capable or willing of doing, they come from a place of complete surrender, a place of utter allowance to be guided to true blessings by the divine.
It’s as if the light behind the door to my heavens was shining so bright, it was enough to re-ignite my pilot light so I could find the will to live and finish what I had agreed to come and do. Whatever that was, whatever that meant.
This is my first and most important step in getting closer to true blessings, no matter where you are in life:
Be open to the fact that your duty may not have anything to do with what you are currently doing, no matter your situation.
Then simply agree to be aligned with your true reason for being here, to be shown the way, to let divine plan be shown to you.
Then buckle your seat belts, Dorothy, because Kansas will never be the same.
The easiest and fastest way to get in touch with these blessings is to silence your mind, you body, and to go within – to meditate. That is truly where all the great minds of all times have fished for their inspirations on what to do, how to do it, with whom to do it and when to do it. It has worked for me, it will work for you.
The most tempting step is to tell the Universe exactly how you want those changes to come about. This simply won’t work. The HOW is not your business; your business is to surrender, to be willing, to allow and to follow your inner promptings – that’s it.
Pay attention to what is being shown to you because changes will come to you in strange and unexplainable ways. Remember, it’s part of the agreement to be shown your divine role in this great theater called life.
Once you’re back on your feet there are many things you can DO, once you’ve agreed to first BE the human being you’ve come to be.
I will share with you my “to-do” tactics as I was led them to do, which undoubtedly changed my life 180 degrees in multiple different and exiting directions, and they will help you too.
Stay tuned for the last segment of this article series, part 3.
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